Okay, a couple of things…

A week ago I told you about making two of the World Famous Lasagna Bobs for a fund raising event. It was an auction. 

One went for $60 and the other for $75, so I was pretty pleased.

Work, helping out two different churches, the world situation, and having a girlfriend have completely worked me over this week. So I apologize for missing Saturday. I’m going to try and make it up  to you tonight…Saturday night…when I should be out with Holly.

I’m such a bad boyfriend.

More than 2 hours away from me … darn it!

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido.

‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.

‘Not a chance’, she said… ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’

‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him an ‘Irish Viagra’…

‘What is Irish Viagra?’, she asked. It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it.

Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.

It was a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, ‘Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!’

‘Really? What happened?’ asked the doctor.

‘Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate.

He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arms, he sent me cups and saucers flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! Twas a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!’

‘Why so terrible?’ asked the doctor, ‘Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good?’

‘Freakin’ jaysus, it was the best sex I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again.

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido.

‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.

‘Not a chance’, she said… ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’

‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him an ‘Irish Viagra’…

‘What is Irish Viagra?’, she asked. It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it.

Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.

It was a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, ‘Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!’

‘Really? What happened?’ asked the doctor.

‘Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate.

He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arms, he sent me cups and saucers flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! Twas a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!’

‘Why so terrible?’ asked the doctor, ‘Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good?’

‘Freakin’ jaysus, it was the best sex I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again.

Read this question, come up  with an answer, and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is  not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has gotten it right  – including me. (You’ll appreciate this fact soon enough…)

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. 

She thought this guy was amazing, 

She believed him to be her dream and  she fell in love with him right there but did not ask for his number and no  matter how hard she tried she could not find him.

A few days  later she killed her sister. Question: What is her motive in killing  her sister? Give this some thought before you answer. 
(Scroll Down)

 

Keep going!
























Answer:  She was hoping the  guy would appear again at the next funeral.

If you answered this  correctly, you think like a psychopath. 

This was a test by a famous  American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a  killer.

Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and  answered the question correctly. If you didn’t answer the question  correctly – good for you.

If you got the answer correct, please  let me know so I can take you off of my email list — unless that will tick you off, then I’ll just be extra nice to you from now on.

Minnesota Law

All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts. 

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

• Sam Kinison (1953 -1992)

I had an early morning visitor…

That is so sweet!

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice . 
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. 
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. 
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. 
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow. 
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. 
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. 
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done. 
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. 
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. 
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. 
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. 
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

• Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life  thinking they had no faults at all.

And that’s it my friends. Wish it were longer. May you be blessed.