Good morning, Campers,

I JUST finished the last episode, it’s still Friday and I still haven’t gone to the Safety course, but I thought I’d get a quick start on Monday’s episode while I sit here and try not to worry about tomorrow.

I noticed that Leah D. put two comments on the website … the first one is fun!

I have a strong feeling you will meet the right woman when you perform a service. Maybe she pulls off the road because her tire is flat. Or her cart does a get away as she is loading groceries in the car. Or a little one is playing too close to, or even in the road.

Trust me, I know these things.

Leah, I could go on for hours on how confused I feel about that. AND how unlikely I feel that is. But…I will say, from your mouth to God’s ears. I will let you know what happens. 🙂 

And Leah’s second message was kind of a neat question also, but it’s for all of you guys:

I would like to query everyone out there: Were you raised in poverty? If so, what best would back up your claim?

So, what I figure you’re asking is what is an example that you were raised poor? Well, we weren’t rich by any stretch of the imagination, my Mom worked as an RN, Dad was a lineman for Jersey Central Power and Light AND worked EVERY weekend in the band (he was a professional musician, playing sax, clarinet and flute and probably should have done THAT full-time), but us five kids never lacked for anything. We never had the cool stuff that the other kids had, but we had food on the table and a roof over our heads.

But, what about the rest of you.

Understanding Engineers’ Lingo

Percussive maintenance – I hit it and it started working 

Cycle power to the panel – Turn it off and on again 

High impedance air gap – I forgot to plug it in 

Organic grounding – I got electrocuted 

Thermally reconfigured – It melted 

Kinetic disassembly – It blew up 

The young bullfrog, full of himself, went off to find a wife. He met a cute female porcupine, and quickly fell in love with her. He told his father about his love, and his father was appalled!

“Why would you want to marry a porcupine,” he asked, bewildered. 

“Well,” said the young frog, “the elephant wouldn’t have me.”

A guy walks into a bar, orders a pint and a pork pie, downs his pint, puts the pork pie on his head and smashes it with his hand, then walks out, leaving the barman a little confused. 

The next day he comes back in, orders a pint and a pork pie, downs the pint, puts the pork pie on his head, smashes it with his hand and walks out, leaving the barman even more confused. 

The next day he comes in again and orders a pint and a pork pie but the barman, trying to figure him out, says, “Sorry, no pork pies.” 

The guy orders a packet of cheese and onion crisps instead, downs the pint, puts the packet of cheese and onion crisps on his head smashes them with his hand and is about to leave when the barman stops him and asks, “Why did you just smash that packet of cheese and onion crisps on your head?”  

The guy replies, “Because you didn’t have any pork pies.

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other, outside the operating room.  The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” 

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up, they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”  

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

The first kid says, “A circumcision.” 

And the second kid says, “Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done when I was born… Couldn’t walk for a year.”

Okay, so it’s now Saturday evening and I finished the first day of the Safety Course. I gotta tell you, it was NOT what I was led to believe. I was told that the first day would be classroom stuff.

NOPE!

We immediately got on these little Suzuki 125 motorbikes and spent the next 6 1/2 hours doing more walking them around than riding them around. My poor aching hips. I did great on everything except the big zig-zags. I did fine on the small zig-zags, but those big ones are kicking my butt!!! I really hope that’s not going to be the thing that fails me. I did everything else as good if not better than everyone else.

I kicked butt on the big turn to the panic stop.

But, overall, it wore my old butt out!

So, I took the backroads home and I’m driving the car there tomorrow, not the bike. I’ll save some space at the end of this so that I can tell you tomorrow how it all works out. … Now … on with the show.

I absolutely LOVE that meme!!!

I once had an invisible calendar.
Now that’s something you don’t see every day.

That is SO important in SO many different ways. But honestly, I don’t think we have ten years. But that is just Impish’s opinion.  I just can’t imagine Jesus not calling us all home before that.

That is so very true. I know that the times I’ve cried my dog has come up to comfort me.

I have no words…truly.

Hence, Dragon Laffs…

A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions.
Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, “If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?”  “Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.”

And if I know the lieutenant, he was taking notes the whole time.

After our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it. It turned out he was a high school classmate of my husband’s, a man named Love. He said to ask for him the next time we had any problems.  The following year, when we needed service again, we requested Mr. Love. I took the day off from my job to be there.  After he finished repairing our air conditioner, he left his work order behind. On it was written my name and the scheduling instructions: “Wants Love in afternoon.”

I’m writing a book in fifth person…
So every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody…”

“I’m ashamed of you,” the mother said. “Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!”
“He threw a rock at me!” the boy said “So I threw one at him.”
The mother said, “When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me.”
“Thanks, Mom,” the boy replied “But my aim is much better than yours.”

Last Words of Men About to Be Executed

As George Appel was being strapped into the electric chair, he said to the witnesses, “Well, folks, you’ll soon see a baked Appel.”

Before Thomas Grasso was given his lethal injection, he complained, “I did not get my SpaghettiOs, I got spaghetti.  I want the press to know this.”

Sir Walter Raleigh said, “So the heart be right, it is no matter which way the head lieth.” And then he was beheaded.

On his way to the chair, James French said to a newspaper reporter,” I have a terrific headline for you in the morning: ‘French Fries.'”

Francis Crowley remarked “You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother.” Then he was electrocuted.

Just before being hanged, Neville Heath’s last request was for a whiskey. “In the circumstances,” he added, “you might make that a double.”

Said Johnny Frank Garrett before being lethally injected: “I’d like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass.”

Erskine Childers called out to the firing squad, “Take a step forward, lads. It will be easier that way.”

Jimmy Glass said, “I’d rather be fishing.” Then he was electrocuted.

As British serial killer Dr. William Palmer stood on the gallows, he asked the officials, “Are you sure this thing is safe?”

Remember that until today’s Last Word.

An old man walks into the University Offices and says “I’d like to enrol for a Latin course.”

The Dean looks at him and asks rather coyly, “How old are you, Sir?”

“Ninety-three” is the reply.

“Then why do you want to learn Latin, at your time in life?”

“Well” the man explains “I realise I haven’t got long for this world, but if I go to Heaven I’d like to be able to speak to God and the Angels in their own language, and I’d feel more comfortable if I knew some Latin.”

The Dean thinks, and then asks “But what if you don’t go to Heaven but go to – you know – the other place?”

“That’s alright, I can already speak American.”

Well, it is over. My Safety Course. I wanted to get pictures, but this is the only one I got.

These are the tiny little bikes we had to ride. I could not go slow on this thing. The problem is, I HAD to go slow on this thing. I had to do tight U-turns. I had to do slow weaves between these ridiculous little cones and I had to walk this thing in 90 degree heat on asphalt. My two fake hips gave me hell! By the end of the day (and still at 6:30 at night) I have a pounding headache, I’m REALLY lightheaded, and quite dizzy. I’m not ruling out heat stress.

I prayed, quite emphatically, for God to give me the strength to get through it. I got through it. But, did really poorly…at least that’s what I thought. I had a great deal of difficulty, like I said, going slow, doing the tight U-turns, and the slow weaves. I didn’t have any trouble at all with the fast stuff and could’ve taught a class on the panic breaking, the swerving to avoid and panic stopping on a curve. I was the only one not to break the line of the curve on that one.

But, I was sure that I had failed because of how poorly I had done. But, through the Grace of God, I passed. When I asked the instructor about it afterward he told me I had done a great job and the key was that he saw a great improvement in me over the two days. But, I gotta tell you, I AM KNACKERED!!! And I am so thankful that … I’LL NEVER HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN!!!!!

So, until we meet again my friends, prayer works, so keep it up. May God Bless you and keep you until next time. My love and prayers go with you.