Wow! News and news and news!

Let’s start with this first! Since I had gotten  a little ahead with issues I got a little behind in thanking people for donations as of right now, Saturday afternoon, we’re here:

Really special thanks go out to:

Henry S.    Pop Smith    Steve H.    Michael F.  Catherine B.    Donald G.    Stephen B.    Kristine M.    Leah H.    Edmund R.

You guys are truly amazing.  Thank you.  We have a bit further to go, but we still have plenty of time. This is a fantastic start. From only ten people.  Thank you, thank you, .. 

You can donate by going to the website: dragonlaffs.com and in the upper right hand corner there is a donate button that takes you through PayPal. Or, you can write to me at impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com and I can give you my snail mail address (no, I’m NOT going to publish it here … although I’d bet it’s really not that hard to find on line) or I can give you a code to Zelle … I could probably put that on here, but I’m not sure how safe that is to publish to the public…Henry, you could probably answer that for me.  Is it safe to put like that QR code on here?  Could a malicious person do something with that to get into my account? I also have Venmo, but would probably require Izzy Dragon’s help with that one.  I only ever used that once or twice.

So, there you have it.

I used to say that if everyone who read just paid to buy me a cup of coffee everything would be more than paid for … but nowadays, I’m not sure.  But then again, with the price of coffee nowadays, that’s still probably true.

Next news…

I have the trike back!  Finally! I’m back on the road again!

Okay, so eventually, I’m going to have to get someone to get a picture of me from the front. This is from the buddy of mine who took me down to Kokomo to pick it up.  If I remember correctly, this may have been the point where I was doing my sprint of 73 mph.  Hey, don’t hate. The speed limit was 60 and US 31 is becoming #autobaun and trust me, I was cruising at 67ish and was IN THE WAY.  Even 20 years ago when I was dispatching for the State Police, the unwritten rule on the highway was if you were 9 over you were fine, at 10 you could be in trouble.  The key word being “could”.

Funny story.  That evening, after I got home from work, I had to drop off a couple of workbooks to one of my ministerial partners on the other side of town, so I jumped on the trike and hooked my eyeglasses over the front of my shirt.  You know what I mean when I say that? You know, like this: 

Okay, kind of like that (unbelievable how hard it was to find a pic!), but you get what I’m saying.  Anyway, hooked my glasses, jumped on the trike, ran my errand, got home, glasses are gone.

Man, do I feel like a complete idiot.  In my defense, the shirt was a tight Tee and there really wasn’t any reason why they should have flown out.  I was in town and never really got over 30 … okay, maybe 35 … 40.  Okay, I’m beginning to see your point.

Anyway, with the Izzerts help, I found an old pair of glasses and went to the eye doctor’s office the next day to tell them that I had lost my glasses and got picked on by them for HOW I lost my glasses.  Now, this was 10:35 in the morning.  My plan was to just run out there, get things set up and run back to work.  

They said, well, you should really have an exam before we order you new glasses. I’m standing next to the eye glass counter and the doctor counter is right across from them.  I’m basically standing between these two very nice ladies who are now determined to take care of me whether I want them to or not.  The completely stop talking to me.

When was the last time he had an exam.
It was long enough ago that he can have another and be covered. (By my insurance apparently)
Lens and frames?
Yup
Who does he have?
Davis
He needs an appointment
We just had a cancellation at 10:40
Great! He’ll take it! … or … um… I think.  Bob, can you…

By this point I’m laughing out loud and said, “Sure, I can stay, especially since the two of you already have it all set up.  What choice do I have.” And the two of them looked so proud of themselves. The one lady told me that I was all checked in and to go and have a seat and I would be called back shortly.

Amazing, right? Now, the other amazing thing is that my eye insurance had actually improved. The next dear lady who helped me told me that my insurance plan had added so many bells and whistles I got the scratch resistance, glare stuff, the thing that makes the glasses go dark outside, the blue protection for computers, and a bunch of stuff I don’t even remember, all as part of my plan.  The only bad thing was that with this entire showroom FULL of frames, I was only allowed to pick off of one little spindle rack without it costing me more money, but glasses are glasses.  But this sweet lady helped me and told me which ones looked good and was very picky and told me why they looked good and made sure I didn’t pick a pair that wouldn’t work because of my trifocals and actually took the pair that we both agreed on and put them back (they were kind of gold) and grabbed another pair that were the same glasses but were a smokey color while we were on the way back to the fitting area.  She said, “Try these on for me.”

Then she looked at me and said, “Oh yeah.  I like those much better.  They suit your coloration much better than the other ones do.” And I guess I agreed with her once I tried both of them on. When I told Izzy she said, “Eww! Not gold. Not for you.”  So I guess it was a good choice.

Then, after the fitting and the lining up and all that she started filling everything out.  Now, the last time I got a whole set of glasses, with the exact same insurance, with far fewer bells and whistles, it was like $250 and this was several years ago.  Lately all I’ve been doing is updating my lenses, so I was up for about $300.  She figured it all out and sat back and said, “Wow. Your insurance has really improved. You’re getting almost a $700 pair of glasses.  Your copay is $74.”

I said, “Quick!  Where do I pay before you change your mind.”  The other problem with my insurance is that Davis takes forever to get the glasses back, so I’m figuring on around the first of September before I see my new glasses and these old ones are giving me a MONSTER headache.

So that is my long and extended opening, and before I get started on another story…

Okay, let’s do a group on a theme to get us started, shall we?

Okay, another one of these…I’ll help out again.

Which of course, is a great reply…she’d still get slapped into tomorrow, but still … nice come back.

(Thanks Steve)

My friend is a highly successful poultry farmer…
Yep, he’s a chick magnate!

My child is jaded. When I read her the above caption, “Surgery is stabbing someone to life.” Her response was, “I mean, not always.”

That is pretty cool.

Killing your father is called patricide.
Killing your mother is called matricide.
So, what is killing your friend called?
Homie-cide

What do you mean?  I do!

Yes she was! Said all of us grandpas everywhere!

And not a single one of us is surprised at ALL.

My son couldn’t sleep. So, I told him there are cows sleeping in the field outside.
He said: “What’s that go to do with anything?”
I replied: “Because it’s pasture bedtime.”

Did you know that French fries weren’t first cooked in France?
They’re actually cooked in Greece.

Living beyond your means takes twice as much money as it used to.

Mary hated the idea of surgery. So, she was very upset when the doctor informed her that she needed a tonsillectomy. Mary after much deliberation, decided to go ahead and have the procedure.

While she and the nurse were filling out an admission form, she was so nervous she couldn’t think straight or hardly speak. The nurse, being a compassionate sort, patted her hand and said, “Don’t worry. This is a simple medical procedure, and a problem that can easily be fixed.” 

“I am sure you are right. I’m being silly,” Mary said, “Please continue.”

“Good,” the nurse went on, “Now, do you have a living will?”

You Know You Are Out of College When:
– Your potted plants stay alive.
– Sleeping in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
– You have to pay your own credit card bill.

– Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.
– “Extended childhood” only really pertains to your salary which is a little less than your allowance used to be.
– “Twenty-something” means over-qualified, under-paid and not married.

– Jeans, flannels, and baseball caps aren’t staples in your wardrobe.
– You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
– You stop confusing 401k plan with 10K run.

– You go to parties that police don’t raid.
– You don’t know what time Wendy’s closes anymore.
– Your car insurance goes down.

– You refer to college students as kids.
– You feed your dog science diet instead of taco bell.
– Half your conversations with current college students start with, “When I was in college…”

I missed this one with the earlier theme.

Johnny paid his way through college by being a waiter in a restaurant.
“What’s the usual tip?” asked a customer.
“Well,” said Johnny, “this is my first day, but the other guys said that, if I got five dollars out of you, I’d be doing great.”
“Is that so?” growled the customer. “In that case, here’s twenty dollars.”
“Thanks. I’ll put it in my college fund,” Johnny said.
“By the way, what are you studying?” asked the customer.
“Applied psychology.”

That one doesn’t surprise me at all.

I’m trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.

So, this one was a lot of fun. I hope it was as much fun for you as it was for me. Thank you again to everyone who has donated to paying the bills for this ezine. I told you I would keep doing it until it wasn’t fun anymore or until you guys didn’t cover the expenses. We’re about half way there right now and yes, it’s still a lot of fun…but it’s also a lot of work.

Anyway, until next time, my dear friends.