So, that’s what I got when I said “Create a dragon like me.”…so anyway, Good morning my friends.  Before we get started, I have to fix something that I was remiss about on Saturday.  Something I forgot to do.

I know, heaven forbid, there was something that I, the great and powerful Impish Dragon, forgot to do!  Right? But … oh look, squirrel!  

Right, something I forgot.

Stephanie’s birthday was Saturday and should have been in Saturday’s issue.  Now, of course on Saturday, I wished a happy birthday privately, but I have been wishing her a happy birthday on here for many years and didn’t want to break with tradition, but … as I get older and my mind begins to fade … 

NO!

QUIT THAT!  I forgot.  I was busy.

I hope you had a happy birthday dear friend.  Now, let’s move on for the rest of us.

We’ve lost a lot of people lately. We can only hope that they were all saved and headed to the right place.

No more guesses? Okay… fine. Be that way. No one is interested. So, let’s just get this out  of the way, after the next rotation I’ll show you which one is me. 

What’s a rotation?

Never mind. I know what it is, and it’s how I keep track of where I am in the issue.

“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said the teacher.
 
The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.”
 
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Do you know what pregnant means?” she asked.
 
“Sure,” said the young boy confidently. “It means carrying a child.”

Okay, this is me:

The weird looking kid in the front. That’s me. I have no idea how or why this picture was taken.

I think that’s the first time I’ve seen them in person.  April of 71 I was 12 years old. I wouldn’t be 13 until later on that year.

Another really good one from Stephanie.  Click HERE

Yup!

So PERFECT!!!!!!!

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

-George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

When Joe from NJ sent this to me all he said in the subject line was AGREED!. So, this made me very curious (being a dragon) so I went on line and found this: it is a short, so don’t worry.

Okay, so a little tedious, but when I did a little more research, I found out that the full Brahms Requiem takes between 65 and 80 minutes I completely understood the quote. As patient a dragon as I am, and let me tell you, for a dragon, I am extraordinarily patient, I would’ve completely razed the performance hall after about ten minutes of THAT! Even worse to find out that it’s in German (which makes sense) and written to his mother.

Ummm…nope, never mind.

Does that sound like your church? It sounds like mine. Maybe not the physical building I go to ALL the time, but most of the time. But the CHURCH I belong to? 100%

What’s the difference between the building you go to and the church you belong to?

Thanks, I’m glad you asked. The building I go to is where me and other church members (and other people) meet to get recharged to go back out and serve the Lord. The other people go there to learn about the Lord. The Church is ALL of us who have given our lives over to the Lord. Does that make sense? Did I explain that well enough?

Little Johnny sees his Daddy’s car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.

Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.

“MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND…”

Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.

So Johnny tells her. “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. 

I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy…”

At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.”

At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, “then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army.”

Another in the LONG line of “Why’s it always gotta be Bob?”

Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. 

 “I’m sorry, I always get emotional at this hole – it holds very difficult memories for me.” 

One of his buddies asked, “What happened?  What could have gotten you so upset?”

Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, “This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack; right at this very hole.” 

“Oh my God”, the other golfers said.  “That must have been horrible!” 

“Horrible? You think it’s horrible?”

Bob continued still very distressed.  “It was worse than that! Every hole  for the rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it was hit the ball,  drag Alice, hit the ball, drag Alice…” 

Another good one from Stephanie (of course) so click

HERE

Reenactment of a beautiful parable. I don’t know who this guy is, but he is doing such a GREAT job.  We’ve seen him before. Click HERE.

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs, and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.”

“Hans Olaffsen?”, he muses. “How the heck does that fit in here?” 

So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.  The tourist asks, “How did this place get a name like “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?” 

The old man answers, “Is name of owner.” 

The tourist asks, “Well, who and where is the owner?” 

“Me, is right here,” replies the old man. 

“You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?” 

“Is simple,” says the old man. “Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, “What your name?” He say, “Hans Olaffsen.” Then she look at me and go, ‘What your name?'” “I say, Sem Ting.”

And another

NASA was interviewing professionals they were planning on sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go, and it would be a one way trip, the guy would never return to Earth. 

The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going. 

“One million dollars,” the engineer answered. “And I want to donate it all to my alma mater — Rice University.” 

The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question.

“Two million dollars,” the doctor said. “I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.” 

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”  

Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.  The lawyer replied, “You give me three million, I’ll give you one million, I’ll keep a million, and we’ll send the engineer.”

That’s it for this issue my friend. I’m going to jump right into the next issue to try and get ahead.