Happy birthday America!  Two-hundred, forty-nine years old. 

If I make it another year, and before you freak out, there’s no reason to think that I won’t, but there is reason to think that the Rapture could happen between now and then, and we can talk about that later. 

Ahem…as I was saying … If I make it another year, I will have seen both the 200th and the 250th anniversary of the greatest country ever! 

Mind you, I do believe that the country was much greater in its past then it is now, but it is STILL a GREAT country.  And I will defend her with my life if necessary.  My oath has not and will not expire.

So, let’s celebrate!

Boy, ain’t that the truth!  Or working two full-time and two part-time jobs at the same time to make ends meet.  Yes, I did that for almost two years.

Whoever said, “Out of sight, Out of mind” never had a spider disappear in the bedroom.

She says I keep pushing her buttons. 

If that were true, I would have found ‘mute’ by now.

Wife: You pick dinner.
Husband: Burger.
Wife: No.
Husband: Tacos.
Wife: No.
Husband: Subs.
Wife: No
Husband: Then what do you want?
Wife: It’s up to you.
WELCOME TO MARRIAGE

What happens when a microscope crashes into a telescope?

 

They kaleidoscope. 

I once envied people who could do cartwheels and such, but now I’m jealous of anyone who can get up off the floor without making grunting noises and holding onto furniture.

I’m so poor, I rub cologne from magazines on my shirt.  When people say, “Oh, you smell good, what is that?” I say, “Page 14.”

I love eye jokes…

The cornea the better.

My going out clothes have missed me so much. I put them on and they hugged me so tightly, I could barely breathe.

In High School I was so excited to become a Senior.

 

I’m not too excited now.

I had no idea I  had this many 4th of July memes.  I don’t think I’m even close to  the end.  I don’t even want to check.

Yeah, I just checked…there’s a LOT!

Wow!  Happy Birthday America!  I had no idea I had that many memes and I left some out.  LOL!  I don’t know how else to say it…what a great country.  Be safe my friends, have a great day!