I like the picture above.  There’s only one problem with it that I can see.  Can you figure it out like I did?

That’s right!

There’s no way in Ticonderoga that the coffee would be the smallest container!  Complete fantasy!  Remember:

Yeah, one of my best.  Anyway, let’s get this one moving along.  I pretty much just finished the last one.  I think I’m about a week and a half ahead by now, so why slow down, right?

An American girl was visiting England and was invited to a party.

While dancing with a stuffy monocled Englishman, her necklace became unfastened and slipped down the back of her dress.

She asked the Englishman to retrieve the jewelry piece for her. 

He was very embarrassed but wishing to comply with her request he reached cautiously down the back of her gown. 

“I’m terribly sorry,” he said, “but I can’t seem to reach it.” 

“Try further down,” she said. 

At this point he noticed that he was being watched by everyone in the room which made him feel most uncomfortable and he whispered to the girl, “I feel such a perfect ass.”

“Never mind that!” she cried. “Just get the necklace.”

One of our friends of the show, Chris calls BS on one of the memes that was recently sent out out.  Remember this one?

Chris writes and says (and I hope all the links still work):

There are no credible news reports of Malia receiving funds from USAID.

A search on the USAspending website, which provides information on federal spending, shows no USAID, opens new tab funds were awarded to her. Two entries on the website show that the U.S. State Department allocated $41,022 for Malia’s protection, opens new tab and lodging, opens new tab in 2016, while Obama was still president.

The narrative first surfaced on February 9 on the Facebook page of America’s Last Line of Defense (ALLOD), a network of satirical pages and sites. The bio says, “Nothing on this page is real.” The post was shared by the page on three, opens new tab different, opens new tab days, opens new tab.

Outstanding work, Chris!  Thank you so much for doing the follow-up work and keeping the facts straight and keeping us honest here at DL.  I expect the great campers to do their homework when they send me stuff, but I understand that things sometimes slip through their fingers and with the hundreds of things that I get on a weekly basis there is now way that I have the time to check them all, so it is wonderful and comforting to know that I have friends out there that when it doesn’t pass their own smell test they go out and check it and feel comfortable enough with me that they can write back and say I screwed up.  Thanks again, Chris, it is deeply appreciated.

I got that last one from Izzy’s page.  It made me laugh, so I stole it.

It was their fifth anniversary, and Nina and Lloyd had just returned from the movies.

Nina was feeling romantic.

“Will you love me when my hair has turned to silver?” she crooned.

“Why not?” Lloyd grunted. “Didn’t I love you through 4 other shades?”

Stanley stops by to visit his friend who is paralyzed from the waist down. They talk for a while and then the friend asks, “My feet are cold. Would you be so kind as to go get me my house slippers please?”

Stanley obliges and goes upstairs. There he sees his friend’s daughters, both very good looking. Being the adventurous and quick thinking kind, he says…..

“Hi, ladies! Your daddy sent me here to have sex with you!”

They stare at him and say, “That can’t be!”

He replies, “OK, let’s check!”

He shouts at his friend down the stairs, “Both of them?”

…..”Yes, both of them!”

The Chief Resident remarked to the Unit Director of the busy ICU that there seemed to be an awful lot of expectant Nurses in their Unit.

As they were walking down the hall, he was becoming concerned about a possible staff shortage and inquired of the Director when each pregnant Nurse they passed was due.

Each time the Director would respond, “Some time in late September.” Coming upon the 5th expectant Nurse, he asked yet again.

The Director responded, “I have no idea Sir. Norma Jeanne wasn’t at the Christmas Party.”

An extremely obese woman shows up at her doctor’s office crying and claims that she has tried every possible way to lose weight, all to no avail.

She continues to sob, “My husband won’t make love to me any more. My friends make fun of me. Everywhere I go they tease me. I just can’t take it any more!”

The doctor, hoping to help her, proposes a radical diet … rectal feeding.

Reassuring the patient that she won’t starve to death, the doctor explains that she’ll actually take in enough nutrients, through the rectal walls, to sustain life and that she’s sure to lose weight in the process.

Three weeks later the patient comes in for a follow-up appointment and she’s down from her 360 pounds to a trim 110 pounds.

At first the doctor doesn’t recognize her and asks his nurse,

“Who is that beautiful lady in the waiting area?”

The nurse reminds the doctor that she’s the fat lady on the special, rectal diet.

The doctor show the patient into the exam room and notices that she’s bouncing up and down and side to side quite energetically.

The doctor asks how she’s doing and if there was anything wrong.

The patient replies, “I’m feeling great Doc. Never felt better!”

“In that case, why are you bouncing up and down and side to side?”

The patient replies, “Oh, that …

 …………. I’m just chewing gum.”

Back in my day, there was so much toilet paper and so many eggs that we would throw them at the houses of our enemies.

Wouldn’t it be ironic…

to die in the living room?

What if…one day Google was deleted and we couldn’t Google what happened to Google?

Please, Dear Lord, don’t EVER let that become me!

I can hear PETA and my Vegan friends screaming in the background…while I laugh and laugh.

And the frustration that we all felt when we tried to the point that we would erase a hole in the paper.

Nice!

It was a cartoon, dude.  Get over it.

At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires.

 

Why I was chosen, I’ll never know.

What if dogs lick us because they know we have bones inside us and they want them?

Before we close, let’s go over the latest updates to our 

We are now up to a whooping 14 responses.  Here’s the current breakdown:
Lost Generation, 1883-1900 (142 to 125 years old) — 0 didn’t really expect any, did we?
Greatest, G.I. Gen, 1901-1927 (124 to 98 years old) — 0 still pretty low expectations 
Silent Generation, 1928-1945 (97 to 80 years old) –3 (21.43%) not bad
Baby Boomers, 1946-1964 (79 to 61 y/o) — 10 (71.43%) the overwhelming majority!
Generation X, 1965-1980 (60 to 45 y/o) — 1 (7.14%) I really expected more than 1
Millennials, Gen Y, 1981-1996 (44 to 29) — 0 actually kind of surprising
Zoomers, Gen Z, 1997-2012 (28 to 13) — 0 I would have to issue a parental advisory
Generation Alpha, 2013 – ? (12 years old and under) — 0 thank goodness!

So, come on!  How tough is it to drop me a fast comment to the website or a fast email to impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com ? 

“Hi, it’s Smokey.  I’m a Silent Gen and my wife is a Gen X.  Love the show!” 

See, it’s that easy! 

But I gotta say, Smokey, at the very best dude, you’re 20 years older than your wife…, now, that’s not bad if you got married when you were 60 and she was 40, but if you were 40 and she was 20…?  Or you were 35 and she was …

Anyway, none of my business. 

Still, it’s not that hard to write to the show, and see, we get to talk about you when you do! 

Although, maybe that’s not such a good selling point. 

Forget that last part. 

I really do love the comments that a lot of you add to your generation sends.  You guys should go to the website and read along…the website?  Well, for those of you who just get the email and never go to the website, it’s a really tough website to find.  It’s dragonlaffs.com.  I know, tough right?  Hard to remember.  Here, I’ll even link it for you. 

And that about does it for this issue.  Since this is about my last day off before I have to go back to work, I’ll get started on another issue as soon as I close out of this one.  This one is scheduled to come out on Thursday, 3 July, so I think I’ll do a special fourth of July episode!  So you may end up with an episode on Thursday (this one), Friday (the special), and Saturday!  Won’t that be awesome! 

So, in the meantime, may our Heavenly Father Bless you with Love and Happiness until we meet again!