It is not Star Wars Day when you are reading this, but it IS Star Wars Day when I’m writing it, so I suppose that is something.  I’m a fan, but not a huge fan.  It was mentioned to me earlier today so I thought I’d bring it up.

So… May the 4th be with you.

There, I said it.

Now, can we carry on with the normal good fun we usually have?

Good, then let’s do this!

One of the greatest memes ever!

Pennsylvania Law 

Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk.

You know, this just makes good sense to me.

Boy, ain’t that the truth!!!

When Mary was pregnant, her 5 year old son, Billy, was utterly amazed, and a little bit disbelieving, that his sister was growing in his mom’s tummy. 

So one day when the baby was especially active, she sked Billy to place his tiny hands on her tummy to feel the baby kick. But when he did, the baby was suddenly still. 

“Oh, Billy, she must have decided to take a nap,” shrugged Mary. 

“A nap?” Billy marveled. “You mean there’s a bed in there too?”

There’s an AWFUL lot of TRUTH in that poster!!!

When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly, she asked me to bring her a few items from home. 

One item on her list was “comfortable underwear.” 

Worried I’d make the wrong choice, I asked, “How will I know which ones to pick?” 

“Hold them up and imagine them on me,” she answered. 

“If you smile, put them back.”

Now, to put this last one in perspective, this was sent to me by brother Joe with the subject line of “Been There”.  That cracked me up as much as the joke did.

Hmmm, that could solve a lot of problems.  It’s getting harder and harder to find places to dig holes.  Calling 811 all the time is beginning to get … how should I put this … conspicuous.  This would make it a bunch easier.

On a high school science quiz, there was the question, “When water becomes ice which of its physical properties increases?” 

Everyone answered, “Its volume..” 

Except one wise guy who wrote, “When water becomes ice, its price increases.” 

Tambourine player tased during church service

My grandson, Chris, has worn glasses since the age of three. When he was in the first grade he came home one day very distressed. Wanting to find out what was the matter his mother asked, “Chris, what happened today to upset you so?” 

He answered, “It’s not fair that I’m not allowed to go to the library.” 

His mother became very concerned and asked, “Why aren’t you allowed to go to the library?” 

With a tearful reply he said, “Because, in order to go to the library you have to have super-vision, and I wear glasses!” 

So Sad…so true.

WHAT IS A GRANDMOTHER? (or a grandfather)? 


A grandmother is a lady who has no little children of her own. She likes other peoples. 

A grandfather is a man grandmother. 

Grandmothers don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. 

They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. 

It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us. 

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars. 

They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also don’t step on “cracks.” 

They don’t say, “Hurry up.” 

Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes. 

They wear glasses and funny underwear. 

They can take their teeth and gums out. 


They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad. 

Acts 20:35:  I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive. 

It all belongs to God anyway and since I’ve given freely of my tithe and generously to the charities and to others I’ve found in need, you know, I’ve not found myself in much need at all.  Not that I’ve had a lot, but I’ve always had enough.  And what more do any of us need, than “enough”?  And “enough” is more than enough.  Thank you, God.

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. 

“Davy, what noise does a cow make?” 
“It goes moo.” 

“Alice, what noise does a cat make?” 
“It goes meow.” 

“Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?” 
“It goes baaa.” 

“Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?” 
” Ummmm…it goes.. click!” 

Of course it does.

Looks right to me.

That’s it my friends.  I hope you enjoyed this issue.  May God Bless you with Love and Happiness until we meet again.