Issue #2,400… incredible. I can’t believe it.
In June it will be 19 years. That averages to 128 episodes a year … not bad.
ROFLMAO!!!
I just thought of something … harsh!
And now I feel terrible about thinking about it and most especially about laughing about it.
But, really, only about that much…
Okay, so here’s my thought…
Dragon Laffs has lasted significantly longer than my previous marriage did. I know, right? Funny, but still…. moving on to other things.
Two-thousand, four-hundred episodes…I can’t believe it. So, let’s get this extra-special show started, shall we?
A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6’tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’s a weightlifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?”
The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
Okay, you can get there…
King James says: casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
(My preferred) ESV: casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
The other versions are similar. Cast all your cares, worries, anxieties, doubts and such on God. How do we do that? By prayer. We leave it to God. Why? Because He cares for us. The meme gets there, but it’s kind of a weird translation.
“The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents. ”
Nathaniel Borenstein (1957 – )
God uses all of us, where we are.
This one is from Joe in NJ and he is correct in how true this is.
The average man’s life consists of –
– Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going;
– Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
– And at the end, the mourners wondering too.
The mourners may wonder, but if you know Jesus as your Savior, then you needn’t wonder.
I always found it counter productive when a teacher would say, ‘Don’t get smart with me”.
I really used to like my psychic, until I threw her a surprise party and it worked
I’m always on the edge of my seat when I’m at the circus. It’s just so in tents
I thought it would be cool to have Velcro shoes, but it turns out they’re a total rip off.
Are people born with a photographic memory or does it take time to develop?
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, you just wait.
The other day I yelled into a colander and I strained my voice.
A five-dollar bill walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey. This is a singles bar.”
I’m not saying that I’m a bad driver…but when I drive, my navigation device doesn’t speak, it prays in Latin.
Has anyone else used WD-40 to get rid of mice? It didn’t work for me, but it did stop the squeaking.
I gave my friend an apple, and she told me she preferred pears, so I gave her another apple.
I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn’t water proof.
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married… I didn’t want him to.
What did the DNA say to the other DNA? Do these genes make me look fat?
I was looking forward to going on one of those Viking River Cruises until I found out they don’t actually let you pillage anything.
Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
I was told that after a vasectomy I wouldn’t have kids anymore. But when I got home
they were still there…
Okay, this next one is really pretty cool!
I managed a pet store that specialized in sales of tropical fish.
One afternoon shortly after Christmas a lady called with the astonishing report that her fish were drinking too much water. After a brief pause, I asked her how on earth she knew that.
“Well,” she replied, “I noticed that they were gulping all the time and when I woke up this morning I discovered that the aquarium water was half gone.”
I had to put down the phone and laugh for a good minute or two before I could summon the composure to tell her that she needed to check the floor for the water that had leaked out overnight and bring the tank back in for a replacement.
When Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana speaks, I listen. While I’ve often referred to him as “the Will Rogers of Congress,” Bruce Carlton called him “The Will Rogers of our time.”
This collection of his quips is priceless.
Bruce Carlson:
Southerners have a way with words, some better than others. Start the year with some Truthful Humor: Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy . The Will Rogers of our time.
Kennedy graduated Magna cum Laude from Vanderbilt, has a Law degree from the University of Virginia and a degree from Oxford in England . He is no country bumpkin; he is very insightful & a bit humorous.
Comment about Cuomo lecturing us. “It’s like a frog calling you ugly”.
–Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
This election in Ga will be the most important in history. You have nothing to worry about unless you are a taxpayer, parent, gun owner, cop, person of faith, or an unborn baby!
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Senator John Kennedy from Louisiana describes Democrats as the “well-intended arugula and tofu crowd.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
You can only be young once, but you can always be immature.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Americans are thinking, there are some good members of Congress but we can’t figure out what they are good for. Others are thinking, how did these morons make it through the birth canal.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
It’s as dead as four o’clock.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Always follow your heart…..but take your brains with you.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
The short answer is ‘No.’ The long answer is ‘Hell No.’
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
It must suck to be that dumb.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
When the Portland mayor’s IQ gets to 75, he oughta sell.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
I keep trying to see Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer’s point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Go sell your crazy somewhere else…we are all stocked up here.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
She has a Billy goat brain and a mockingbird mouth!
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Sen. John Kennedy (R., La.) said on Wednesday that he trusted most Middle Eastern countries as much as gas station sushi.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
You can get a goat to climb a tree, but you’d be better off hiring a squirrel.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
1. This has been going on since Moby Dick was a minnow.
2. Don’t stand between a dog and a fire hydrant.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Our country was founded by geniuses, but it’s being run by idiots.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
It appears that he might do the right thing, but only when closely supervised and cornered like a rat.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Dumb enough to be a twin of himself.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
This is why space aliens won’t talk to us.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Democrats are running around like they found a hair in their biscuit.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Chuck Schumer just moo’s and follows Nancy Pelosi into the cow chute.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
What planet did you parachute in from?
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Just because you CAN sing doesn’t mean you should.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Senator John Kennedy on Nancy Pelosi, “She can strut sitting down!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
THE EVOLUTION POPULATION PROBLEM
Evolutionary scientists believe that man has existed for over a million years, and their belief has overwhelming issues. Using the assumption of 43 years, for the average human generation, the population growth over a million years would produce 23,256 consecutive generations. We calculate the expected population by starting with one couple one million years ago and use the same assumption of 43 year generation and 2.5 children per family. The evolutionary theory of a million years of growth would produce trillions and trillions and trillions of people that should be alive today on our planet. (Taking wars, famine, and natural disasters into account)
To help understand, the number is much greater than the total number of atoms in our expansive universe. Furthermore, if mankind lived on earth for millions of years, we would all be standing on an enormous mountain of bones from trillions of skeletons of those who had died in past generations. However, despite tremendous archaeological and scientific investigation in the last two centuries, scientists have not found a fraction of the trillions of skeletons predicted by the theory of evolutionary scientists. Where are all the bodies?
Funny enough, as Creationists, we have the expected population if the world started with 2 people, 6000 years ago, and then 8 people 4,500 years ago. Yes, it’s true!
Now the follow 0n article…
Billions of People in Thousands of Years?
Creationists are often asked, “How is it possible for the earth’s population to reach billions of people if the world is only about 6,000 years old and if there were just two humans in the beginning?” Here is what a little bit of simple arithmetic shows us.
Simple, conservative arithmetic reveals clear mathematical logic for a young age of the earth.
One Plus One Equals Billions
Let us start in the beginning with one male and one female. Now let us assume that they marry and have children and that their children marry and have children and so on. And let us assume that the population doubles every 150 years. Therefore, after 150 years there will be four people, after another 150 years there will be eight people, after another 150 years there will be sixteen people, and so on. It should be noted that this growth rate is actually very conservative. In reality, even with disease, famines, and natural disasters, the world population currently doubles every 40 years or so.
Impact of the Flood
We know from the Bible, however, that around 2500 BC (4,500 years ago) the worldwide Flood reduced the world population to eight people.3 But if we assume that the population doubles every 150 years, we see, again, that starting with only Noah and his family in 2500 BC, 4,500 years is more than enough time for the present population to reach 6.5 billion.
From two people, created about 6,000 years ago, and then the eight people, preserved on the Ark about 4,500 years ago, the world’s population could easily have grown to the extent we now see it—over 6.5 billion.
Evolutionists are always telling us that humans have been around for hundreds of thousands of years. If we did assume that humans have been around for 50,000 years and if we were to use the calculations above, there would have been 332 doublings, and the world’s population would be a staggering figure—a one followed by 100 zeros; that is
10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,This figure is truly unimaginable, for it is billions of times greater than the number of atoms that are in the entire universe! Such a calculation makes nonsense of the claim that humans have been on earth for tens of thousands of years.
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
Simple, conservative arithmetic reveals clear mathematical logic for a young age of the earth. From two people, created around 6,000 years ago, and then the eight people, preserved on the Ark about 4,500 years ago, the world’s population could have grown to the extent we now see it—over 6.5 billion.
With such a population clearly possible (and probable) in just a few thousand years, we could actually ask the question, “If humans were around millions of years ago, why is the population so small?” This is a question that evolution supporters must answer.
A traveling salesman was driving through the country late one night when his car died.
Seeing a farmhouse nearby, he knocked on the door.
“My car broke down,” the salesman explained to the farmer who answered. “Could I possibly spend the night here?”
“Yes,” said the farmer, “but you’ll have to share a bed with my son.”
“Uh-oh,” the salesman replied, “I must be in the wrong joke.”
I hope you enjoyed this extra-long, extra-special edition of your favorite ezine. It was fun putting it together. Until we meet again, my love to you all.
Dragon Laffs 
Apologies if this shows up twice….
CONGRATULATIONS on reaching this landmark issue!!!
You are greatly appreciated.
Congratulation on your landmark issue!!!!!