It has been suggested to me that instead of trying to provide so large an issue, that instead I put a smaller issue out and make it easier on myself.  I might start doing that, at least until things slow down a little bit.

So, that’s it for today my friends.  I hope you enjoyed today’s episode.  I look forward to speaking with you again next …

What?

Not THAT small?

So like one or two memes and cartoons?  Maybe a joke from Joe or three?

I tell you what…let’s see how it goes.  I’ll continue to work too hard and you guys continue to enjoy it, how does that sound?

Okay, I don’t know if I found a new trick/toy or not, but if so, it may have opened up a whole new bag of fun for us if the above video plays like it’s supposed to.  It’s called, how we spend out time.  And thanks to Lynn for sending it in!  I hope it works.

Oh Heaven Forbid!

This is one of my favorites.  I actually printed this one out and posted it in my office, framed.

Here’s another nice little article/essay from Lynn.  I found this one quite interesting.  Thanks again Lynn. (She always sends the most interesting stuff).

How much more so are we then expected to extend that same forgiveness and love to others that deserve our punishment and our wrath.

Trying this again!  Looks like it’s going to work!

This next one is GREAT!  It is hilarious!  Called the weirdest drum battle of all time.

Okay…I’ve had dogs like that, cats like that, KIDS like that, heck, I’ve had EMPLOYEES like that!!!!

A drunk gets on a  bus. The driver, impatient while the drunk fumbles in his pocket for change, drives off. As the bus starts rolling, the drunk reacts to the sudden movement by stumbling all the way to the back of the bus. The bus stops at the next stop. He reacts by stumbling to the front of the bus. 

Still the man is fumbling in his pockets for change. The bus jerks forward once again, and the drunk stumbles uncontrollably to the back of the bus. 

Next stop, the same thing happens. Every time the bus stops, the man would stagger to the front. Every time the bus starts, he staggers uncontrollably to the back. 

A few stops later the drunk exits the bus from the front. 

“Hey”, shouts the bus driver… “You didn’t pay your fare yet!” 

The drunk, reeling, shouts back “Why should I?!….. I walked all the way!” 

THINGS OVERHEARD ON NOAH’S ARK…… 

10. “Did anyone think about bringing a couple of umbrellas?”

9. “Hey, there are more than two flies in here!” 

8. “Wasn’t someone supposed to put two shovels on board?”

7. “OK, who’s the wise-guy who brought the mosquitoes on board?” 

6. “Help! I need some Pepto for the elephants, QUICK!”

5. “Don’t Make Me Pull This Ark Over And Come Back There!”

4. “No Ham, you cannot eat the Pig!” 

3. “And whatever you do, DO NOT pull this plug out.” 

2. “Nice Doggie!” 

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING OVERHEARD ON NOAH’S ARK….. 

1. “Are We There Yet?” 

Hmm, that looks awfully familiar… where have I seen that before…?  OH YEAH!

Kinda looks like the same place…but maybe not.

So, this one is pretty cool.  I had an experience similar to this while stationed in the Mojave Desert.  A buddy had a girlfriend who had never seen snow before and in the middle of the night it started snowing…HARD and by 4 am or so there was like six or seven inches of snow on the ground.  We lived in a little trailer park outside of base in a little town of nothing and she was TERRIFIED of the snow.  Wouldn’t come out of the trailer.  So, we did what any gentlemen would do, we picked her up, carried her outside and threw her in a snowbank…both of us having been from New Jersey and knowing that the snow was NOT, contrary to her opinion, going to harm her in any way.  It was great fun.

This is Izzy’s little hammy Copernicus.  He is trying out for the next Mission Impossible movie.  I have seen him upside down from the top of the cage.

Here’s a funny/horrible site from Stephanie.  I say horrible because it’s horrible to think about the fact that I actually lived through this age…

41 Pics That Show the ’70s Were Weirder Than You Know – Funny Gallery

Okay, if you don’t click on any other link in this issue, you MUST click on this one.  I was going to take the time to cut each picture out and post them individually, but decided it was easier and more fun for you guys to go and look at them on their site.  Thanks again to Stephanie for supplying this one:

23 Photos that Captured Wild Coincidences that Almost Never Happen – Funny Gallery

Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Mexico City. One is holding a cross and one a Star of David. Both are holding hats to collect contributions. People walk by, lift their noses at the man with the Star of David and drop money in the hat held by the man with the cross.

Soon the hat of the man with the cross is filled and the hat of the man with the Star of David is empty. 

A priest watches & then approaches the men. He turns to the man with the star of David and says: “Young man. Don’t you realise that this is a Catholic country? You’ll never get any contributions in this country holding a Star of David.” 

The man with the Star of David turns to the man with the cross and says: “Moishe, can you imagine, this guy is trying to tell us how to run our business!” 

This next bunch are all from our Aussie friend Pete.  (Who’s also been responsible for 99% of the headers lately, too, btw)  Thanks Pete.  And for all your contributions, mate.  Deeply appreciated.

Really well done.  It’s one thing to have an artistic talent, it’s another completely to be able to draw a person and have everyone know exactly who that person is.

I want to get into something a little bit here in the political section for a minute.  I’ve heard a lot of complaints lately about the Electoral College way of electing a president.  How it’s not fair, how it isn’t democratic, etc.  First of all, before we go any further, can I first clarify that we are NOT a democracy. We are a constitutional federal republic.  Put it this way.  We use a democratic form of governing our republic which is controlled by the laws and restraints in our Constitution.

The rights and liberties that we are guaranteed and inalienable are those granted by God and the Constitution is written in such a manner that our government is supposed to protect them.  The first ten amendments to the Constitution were written as to what the Government shall not and will not do because our founders understood that the biggest threat to our freedom was our own government.

The founders also agonized over how to fairly elect a president so that all the states were equally represented.  Because, now look closely, it is the United STATES of America.  STATES.  When all this was being written, not all of the states had joined the United States.  Why would our state join your United States if our state wasn’t going to be given an equal voice in who was going to represent them.  If it was only the people in the big cities who had the most people, how were the farmers, who had all the land and grew all the food, going to be represented.  So the states with fewer people were just as important and wanted the same voice as those states that had a lot of people.  Wyoming wanted the same voice as New York. 

Well, then New York said, “Hey!  There’s a lot more Wyoming’s out there then there are New York’s.”  Meaning there are more states with wide open farmland and fewer people than there are tightly packed industrialized states.  If they have the same vote as we do, they THEY are going to control everything.  So, they needed to come up with a weighted system where the fewer more tightly populated city states had more weight than the more less populated farming states to try to reach a balance.  Hence the Electoral College.  Because it’s the United STATES of America, not the United PEOPLE of America. 

Now, that ends my off-the-cuff lesson on the EC, now back to my original point.  People are complaining about how it doesn’t work.  Let me show you how well it works.  This first picture is the last one I can find of the final results, by state, of the EC voting:

As you can see, Mr. Trump got about 58% of the EC vote to Mrs. Harris’ 42%.  Although it says in parentheses that he got 50.3% and she got 48.1%.  That is the popular vote, which means the individual vote.  To me it looks like Harris got 20 states and Trump got 30.  That would be 40% and 60% respectively.  Okay, we’ve broken that down about as much as possible.

Now this, is the same map, but broken down by county…

Looked at that way, the ONLY place that Harris won, was the counties with the big cities.  And if you go to the interactive maps where you can zoom in on the individual counties, you can see that in a lot of them…it was just barely.  To me, looking at that map, it was much more of a Trump win than was recognized.  But, by the popular vote, you can see that it was MUCH closer than this map certainly shows.  And that is why we have the system that we have.

End of lesson.  I hope you found it interesting and a little entertaining.  But, before I go, I want to throw this one in.  I know it’s old news…water under the bridge…but now, we’ve even got democrats saying…hmm, maybe we DID cheat in 2020…because this makes NO sense:

And lastly, this one was sent in from our dear South African friend, Wouter!

It’s a list put together by I think Joe Messerli of the top 20 things that a Liberal MUST Believe In.  And you know, as funny and sarcastic as it is, there is an awful lot of truth to it.

1. You must believe Global Cooling Global Warming Climate Change is the biggest threat to human survival and can only be curtailed by ceasing all capitalist activities.
2. You must believe all conservatives are incapable of independent thought and are instead brainwashed by Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Fox News.
3. You must believe there is no difference between legal and illegal immigration.
4. You must believe that “fake news” stories are the only reason Donald Trump was elected in 2016, but every anti-Trump story on the internet must be true.
5. You must believe the NRA is bad because it advocates for certain parts of the Constitution, but the ACLU is good because it advocates for certain parts of the Constitution.
6. You must believe it’s more important that all people be equal at the finish line than be equal at the starting line.
7. You must believe the top 20 percent of income earners who pay 95 percent of all income taxes aren’t paying their “fair share”, but the bottom 50 percent of earners who pay $0 in federal taxes and consume more government benefits are.
8. You must believe self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it
9. You must believe in fiscal responsibility, but only if it means cutting the defense budget and raising taxes.
10. You must believe there was no art before federal funding.
11. You must believe conservatives are racist, but blacks and Hispanics cannot make it without your help.
12. You must believe guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of Iran and North Korea.
13. You must believe the same government that pushed the “settled science” of the carb-dominated FDA food pyramid is qualified to judge the “settled science” of climate change.
14. You must disbelieve any news stories released by Fox News or Newsmax but believe everything put out by Al Jazeera and state-run media in Cuba, Venezuela, and China.
15. You must believe that standardized tests are racist, but affirmative action and racial quota requirements are not.
16. You must believe that businesses create oppression but governments create prosperity.
17. You must believe the majority of the population disagrees with you simply because they are delusional, brainwashed, or uneducated.
18. You must believe in free speech unless it comes from a conservative or libertarian speaker.
19. You must believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t brought prosperity anytime in history is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
20. You must believe this list is part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy–probably funded by the Russians.

 

There is a folk belief that if you bury a statue of St. Joseph on a piece of property, it will be sold more quickly. 

I took the St. Joseph from my Nativity scene and buried it near my front door.  A few days later a woman made me an offer on the house.  Since she had to sell her home too, I suggested she enlist the help of the saint as well. 

After a month of burying the statue all over her lawn, she had no nibbles and, in disgust, put the statue out with the trash. 

A week later she opened her local paper and read:  “Town Sells Landfill to Private Developer.”

I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever had fresh air. 

She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!” 

The driver of a nearby car gave me a startled look. 

“I don’t know about you, lady,” he said incredulously. “But I usually just put my car in park.”

Amy and Jamie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time.  

Amy is upset because she thinks her husband doesn’t find her attractive anymore. 

“As I get older he doesn’t bother to look at me!” Amy cries.

“I’m so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day.” replies Jamie. 

“Yes, but your husband’s an antique dealer!”

And on that WAY too true statement, we’ll draw this issue to a close.  May you be blessed until we can meet again.