I want to thank everyone for all the great comments on the last episode.  As someone who does this for the love of it, it’s nice to know that my efforts are appreciated.  Thank you for the very kind words.  It makes it all worthwhile.  

I really don’t know what to talk about this morning.  I have a buddy coming over to help me with my roof.  He’s a bit better at climbing ladders than I am.  I don’t climb so well anymore.  I probably could, but I’d hate to fall at this point in my life.  With the amount of arthritis and bad joints and stuff that I have, I’ll leave it to the guys that can.  He’s also my ministering partner at the jail and on Tuesday nights and the funny thing is, he’s one month older than I am.  He just wore better than I did, lol.

So, he should be here at any moment, so in the meantime, let’s see about putting some laughter under our belts this morning, shall we?

(And all you ladies out there are giggling thinking about laughing at what’s under our belts!)

This link is SO GOOD!  It’s so touching.  Dad plans the perfect pick-up for his daughter’s last day of school.  Thanks to Stephanie, as usual, for sending us another great link.  https://scoop.upworthy.com/dad-plans-the-perfect-pickup-for-daughter-on-last-day-of-highschool-leaving-everyone-in-tears

This next one is from Leah D.

And here’s another one from Leah D.  It’s an

89 year old Ron Chester was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.”

The officer asked, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?”

Ron replied, “That would be my wife.”

Cuddling with my best friend

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

A Male mosquito to its wife: Darling I will hunt a Lion for you.

Female mosquito: Ok fine, now go to sleep.

Male mosquito: I will bite an elephant and bring his blood for you.

Female mosquito: Sure love, go to sleep.

Male mosquito: I will drive you around Paris in a Mercedes.

Female mosquito: Hmmmmmm… ok, go to sleep…

Male mosquito: You don’t trust me? I will get you a 100 gms Gold chain….

Female mosquito: You idiôt go to sleep…

Male mosquito: Honey I’ll do anything for you.

Female mosquito: You silly @#$#@$.. how many times have I told you not to come home after biting a politician

Standing watch can be a lonely and boring job and it’s easy to grow complacent, that’s why most times the watchers are sent out in teams of two.

Following the death of Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi in a helicopter crash over the weekend, the deceased leader questioned the furnishings of Paradise and wondered why it was so crazy hot up there.

And to read the rest of this great article from the Babylon Bee, click the link: https://babylonbee.com/news/iranian-president-asks-manager-of-paradise-where-all-the-virgins-are-and-if-itd-be-possible-to-turn-the-heat-down-a-tad?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email

Izzy took this next picture from right inside our back door…

All the pink flower petals are from Mary’s rose bush that has absolutely taken over the back pergola.  I think it is a beautiful picture.  That bunny is HUGE!  No wonder the dogs have so much fun chasing them around the yard.  This one looks like it’s waiting for the dogs to come out and play.

Joe from NJ sent us this next short.  What an incredible story!!!

And that’s what makes it so much fun!  I enjoy this so much and then come to find out that so many of you enjoy it so much just makes it that much more pleasurable for me.

During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, “How’d you do that?”

“I could tell you, sir”, the magician answered, ” But then I’d have to kill you.”

After a short pause, the man yelled back, “OK, then. Just tell my wife and mother-in-law!”

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. 

At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. 

“I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…” 
“I PRAY FOR A NEW X-BOX…” 
“I PRAY FOR A NEW TV…” 

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.” 

To which the little brother replied, 
“No, but Grandma is!” 

One day, 3 unemployed factory workers heard that a large food company was enlarging and needed more staff.  So they went downtown to see if they could get themselves a job. 

After filing out their applications, each one was interviewed and each one managed to get hired.  As they were waiting to be assigned their new duties, a foreman came by and spoke to the hiring boss. 

The foreman told the boss that he didn’t think it was such a good idea as one of the workers had snapped for no apparent reason at his last job.

Also a second was said to have had cracked up after severe mental stress.

The third, he believed was their father who he felt was a bit odd but he couldn’t put his finger on it. 

The hiring boss reassured the foreman and said that they would start on something easy and after a week, the company would re-assess them to see if they would be kept on. 

The foreman reluctantly agreed and asked the boss where he thought they should start. 

The boss replied, “Why not take them and put them in our Cereal Division…Snap, Crackle and Pop should work out fine down there.”

There was an unusually dim girl, participating in a rather deep discussion.

It got to a point, where she made an incredibly dumb remark and one guy couldn’t take it any more.

So he said to her, “You must have a vacuum in your head.”

This upset her.

She looked at him for a couple of seconds and then replied, “Well, at least it’s better than nothing.”

Dear Police Officers, 
You can’t hear us right now because of all the moise, but there are millions of Americans who appreciate you, support you, and thank you for your service.

Here’s another good one from Joe

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

– Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Wow.  I got zero points.  So, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…Izzy had ten points, but said there was a few she said she got close to.

“I can’t find a cause for your illness,” the doctor said. “Frankly, I think it’s due to drinking.”

“In that case,” replied his patient, “I’ll come back when you are sober.”

I suppose I shouldn’t say anything since my wife used to (and Izzy still does) go online to find a picture of what she wanted me to buy and would text me the picture so I would get the correct one.

Sign on husband’s desk:
Things To Do Today:

1) Get organized.
2) Talk to wife.
3) Get reorganized.

A family owned a tomcat, of whom it was normally quite fond. Quite often, however, the cat would get out at night and go around the neighborhood howling and screeching and meowing so loudly that people would complain.

The family took the tomcat to a veterinarian, and had him fixed.

A few nights later, though, the cat was out again, and this time he was making even more noise than usual.  Not only that, but a lot of other cats were howling and yelling, too.

The father of the house went out to see what was going on.  He caught the cat’s attention and asked, “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be over all this.”

“Oh,” replied the cat, “He who can, DOES; he who cannot, TEACHES.”

Universal Dumping Guide Translator

  These are the top 10 dumping lies translated  to their true meanings for all of you.

“I’m not ready for that type of commitment”

     Translation:
I don’t want to date you; however, you can take me out to dinner and a movie every once in a while. Just don’t hang around me so much that you scare away the people I really want to date.

 

“God doesn’t want me to date right now. “

     Translation:
I don’t know why I said ‘yes’ in the first place. God doesn’t want me to date someone as ugly as you.

 

“I only date older men/women.”

     Translation:
I only date older men/women who have more money than you do.

 

“You’re just not my type.”

     Translation:
When I look at you, and think of kissing you, I get physically sick.

 

“You’re too good for me.”

     Translation:
I’m too good/much/cool for you.

 

“You’re too much like a brother/sister”

     Translation:
I like you, but you just don’t turn me on.

 

“You’ll always have a special place in my heart.”

     Translation:
My lawyer will contact you soon about the restraining order.

 

“I think we should date other people.”

     Translation:
Look, I’m late for my date, he/she’s probably waiting in the parking lot. I’ve got to go.

 

“I just don’t have the time to date anyone.”

     Translation:
You do realize that I’ve been avoiding you for months now.

 

“Maybe we can get together real soon.”

     Translation:
Perhaps if you were the last man/woman on Earth.

There was a young lady at sea 
Who said “Gosh, how it hurts me to pee.” 
“I see,” said the mate, 
“That accounts for the state 
Of the Captain, the purser, and me.”

Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. 

Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?

I had this meme that I was going to use earlier than thought I’d save it for the end and now it’s working it’s way into The Last Word.  Here it is.

First of all, do I need to explain who Paul is and why he would send us a letter?  1 Corinthians?  2 Corinthians? Galatians?  Ephesians?  Romans?  Any of these ring a bell?  Okay, then we’re on the same page.

Now, The Bible is the Word of God and it’s pretty straight forward.  I wrote a piece not too long ago about how there is no such thing as a Progressive Christian Church.  Not in the sense that most of them mean it.  

Recently, the United Methodist Church had their conference or one of their conferences and they had the speakers introduce themselves.  Rather than stand up and say who they were and where they were from, such as, “Good evening, I’m John Smith and I’m the Pastor at Anytown Methodist Church in Tennessee.”  They changed it all around and this is how they introduced themselves, “Hi, I’m John Smith, gay male, married to William, Pastor at Anytown Methodist Church in Tennessee and my pronouns are he/him.”

And although each church has to buy their way out of the United Methodist Church umbrella because part of joining was ceding all the property and buildings over to the group and even the smaller churches must pay tens of thousands of dollars and the larger ones in the hundreds of thousands to get out.  Even though all of that, they have lost like 65% of their membership because their Pastors and their members know that THIS IS WRONG.  According to the Lewis Center, as of 31 Dec 24, the cut off for churches to “Disaffiliate” from the UMC, 7,631 churches made it out or 25% of the churches.  A good part of them are joining the Global Methodist Church.  Many of them can’t leave because they can’t afford it.  It would break them because the UMC kept them poor.  

They even had the nerve, the gall, to tell everyone at the conference to not contain themselves to the male pronoun, when referring to and praying to God.  I am astounded.  

We’ve got that stupid “He Gets Us” commercial during the last super bowl that was so far off the mark that it may have done more harm than good. 

Izzy just showed me where the Pope is trying to give sainthood to a sixteen year old computer gamer.  I read the article from CNN, which should have stopped me right there, but apparently he healed one person and another person was healed when they prayed at his grave site.  So, there’s your two miracles to qualify you as a saint in the Catholic Church.  Funny, I always thought that it was God who answered prayer and did the healing. (Now PLEASE, any Catholics out there who know the full story on this and know that CNN got it wrong, and by extension, I got it wrong, PLEASE write to me and let me know!)

And speaking of Catholics, the Chiefs kicker, I forget his name off the top of my head and I’m on too much of a roll to go look it up, a good Catholic man, with a good Catholic family, giving a speech at a Catholic school on Catholic values and the progressive left went CRAZY!!!  PLEASE!!!!

There is NO SUCH THING AS A PROGRESSIVE CHRISTIAN CHURCH.  Just as soon as you go away from the teachings of the Bible, remember…the Word of God, you are NO LONGER A CHRISTIAN CHURCH.  I’m not sure what you are, but I am 100% sure what you are not.

Marriage is between one man and one woman.  Before someone starts saying how “phobic” I am, yes, I believe that there are people who are same sex attracted and yes, I also believe that it is a sin to act on that.  But, that is between you and God.  Don’t tell me that I have to accept it as being right or correct and we’ll be fine.  What you do on your own time is your business.  

And don’t tell me that I have to use your pronouns of choice either.  According to MY beliefs it is a sin for me to lie, so for me to call you a “she” when I can clearly see that you are a “he” is for me, commiting a sin.  Besides, why should I buy into your mental illness.  Now, if you want to change your name from Frank to Fanny, that’s up to you.  A name is just a name and you can call yourself anything you want to call yourself.

Okay, it’s way obvious that I’ve gone a bit far afield with today’s Last Word.  I guess I hit a hot button.  Well, I KNOW I hit a hot button, but it’s not really where I intended to go when I first sat down to write.  But, it very rarely is.  Maybe I just should have said it was a Dragon Rant to begin with.  It is just getting more and more frustrating to me, seeing where our country is headed, knowing what has to be done, ministering to so many people and wondering if any of it is making any kind of difference at all.  

Asking God, what else can I be doing?  Father, You know what my talents are, how else can I be using them to help fulfill Your Great Commission?  I know You don’t call the able, You enable the called.  I pray for the guidance and the strength and the tools that I need, to follow the plan that You have for my life.  In Jesus, my Lord and Savior’s name I pray.

My fellow campers, have a wonderful weekend and I will see you again on Memorial Day Monday.