Seaside Heights, New Jersey.  That’s an old picture of Casino Pier, and it’s winter time, you can tell because no one is around and the surfers are in wet suits.  There is an ever so slight possibility that one of them is actually me.  I don’t remember having my picture taken, but who would have stopped to get permission from a couple of kids back in the 70s.

Memories.

I’ve got to get ready to go pick up Izzy from work.  Got to take the two beasties out first.  I’m considering something.  And right now I’m just rambling and not making much sense.  I’ve got this article written and no place to publish it.  It’s too big for Facebook, where I’ve put stuff before.  Too small for a book, by any STRETCH of the imagination.  Too controversial for most of the mainstream Christian magazines and websites.  I need a niche publishing site.  You guys got any ideas?

Alright, gotta go, talk to you guys later..

This one is from Aussie Pete and like the little meme says, it’s an oldie but goodie.

If You’re Outdoors, Wear a Bell Please

 “Important Announcement: In light of the rising frequency of human – grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. They advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them. They also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper.”

First, in any discussion, it’s essential everyone agrees on definitions, otherwise the discussion will go round and round and get nowhere, like a hamster jogging away fruitlessly on its wheel. 

The word “eternal” defines something that goes on and on and on in time, that persists forever within a timeline. By contrast, the word “timeless” defines something that exists outside of any timeline. 

Most people don’t recognize this all-important distinction and therefore end up creating utter confusion. It doesn’t help that most English translations of the Bible use the word “eternal” to describe the nature of God; but God is timeless, not eternal. 

He doesn’t exist within any timeline – and certainly not the timeline that confines us mortals.  According to the Bible, God created time (and space, matter, and energy), so he exists outside of time (and space, matter, and energy). 

Scientists used to believe that the cosmos was timeless; therefore, there was no need for an agent of creation. But what we’ve discovered in cosmology since 1929 now does require us to believe in an agent of creation. That’s the enormous challenge for today’s Atheists. A person is certainly free to believe that the agent of creation is a timeless singularity; but such a belief: (A) isn’t part of science’s modern standard cosmological model (not even Steven Hawking believed in such a thing), and (B) isn’t any less supernatural – doesn’t require any less faith; in fact, arguably requires more faith – than a belief in the timeless God of the Bible. In fact, using the language of science, one could define the God of the Bible as a timeless singularity! 

Bottom line, the recent discoveries in cosmology make the existence of a timeless, sentient Creator more credible, not less. The awe & wonder of the natural world!

– Love, Dr. Michael Guillén PhD

So, thanks to Lynn, this is the first time I’ve ever heard of Dr. Michael Guillen.  I’ve done some investigation in to him and listened to a couple of his podcasts and he’s a very interesting guy.  Scientist and Christian.  He’s worth looking into, and this statement, makes a heck of a lot of sense.

I’m not 100% sure, but I really thought the truck part was supposed to stay on the ground.

I’m sure (I hope) that its a fake, but what a great joke (I really hope)

From one doctor to another:

“I just lost my best patient.”

“What did he die of?”

“He didn’t die…he got well.”

Wow!  Just…Wow!

Illinois, Chicago  Law

It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.

Not sure exactly what the lead-in to this is, but I think we can all figure it out…

Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because they keep journals of amusing things their students have written in papers. Here are a few examples:

– The future of “I give” is “I take.”

– The parts of speech are lungs and air.

– The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

– A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

– Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

– The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

– The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

– We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

– A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

– The climate is hottest next to the creator.

– Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

– Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

– In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

I suppose that is one way to get a seat to yourself

Democratic history book?

One of my favorites

There has to be a GREAT story behind this.  But, I can’t see as how it was that pickup that lost the couch.

Only in Chicago

One day a little Johnny was at school. In Social Studies class, his teacher was talking about people’s last names, about how in the old days their last names used to indicate their occupations.

She gave examples like Baker, which meant he was a baker for a living; Miller meant that person worked in a paper mill, and so on.

Then little Johnny raised his hand, and the teacher said, “Do you have an example for the class?”

He said, “Not really, more of a question.”

“Well, what’s your question?” the teacher asked.

“Well,” said little Johnny, “what did John Hancock do for a living?”

For every twist bolt, there’s a screwed up screw somewhere.

A Priest and a Rabbi, who have been the best of friends for years, were always arguing the finer points of their respective theologies, trying to prove the other one was wrong. 

One day while they were riding in a car, they got cut off by a drunk driver. 

The car flew off the road, rolled five times end-over-end, and came to rest on its roof. The Priest and Rabbi crawled from the wreckage and were amazed that they were alive. 

As the Priest crossed himself, he noticed the Rabbi doing the same.

The Priest shouts, “Praise Be! You’ve seen the Light!”

“What?” said the Rabbi. 

“You-you’ve crossed yourself. You have seen the True Way! This is wonderful.” 

“Cross myself?!? No no no ! Not me, I was just checking if everything was still in place . . . .Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet and Watch.” 

Wait until you see it.

A rookie Police Officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with a more experienced partner.

A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people in town who were loitering.

The officers drove to the street and immediately observed a small crowd standing on one corner.

The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner.”

No one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off the corner now!”

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction.

Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?”

Pretty good, “replied the veteran, “Considering this is a bus stop.”

Don’t worry about not having a valentine on Valentine’s Day.  You probably didn’t have a groundhog on groundhogs day either.

If Joe Biden is unfit to stand trial, 

he’s unfit to be president. 

It’s that simple.

I’ve seen these stats over and over again, and yet they still amaze me.

Oh come on.  They got close!

Has anyone else noticed that the symbol “&” looks like a person dragging their butt across the floor?

Wow, and I couldn’t draw a straight line…I’ll tell you guys that story some time.

That moment when you have something really important to say but you’re waiting for the person who is talking to stop talking, but when they do, you forget what you were going to say.

That is awesome!

I laughed so hard when I read this!  That is God telling you not to play with stuff you shouldn’t, you silly man, you!  Just like the Turkish diplomat who said that allah would destroy Israel while he was on stage and he didn’t get more than a step and than collapsed.  

If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had a puppy.

I’m going through her list looking for stuff to argue with…check back with me later.

It takes 6-8 pallbearers to lift you up when you’re deceased.  Imagine what you can accomplish if you had 6-8 people lifting you up while you are living.

The visual that brings to mind is hilarious!  

The man who turned water into wine can also turn YOUR suffering into Joy!  
AMEN.

This one really made me think:

I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry, and accept an apology I never received.

Wow….

Dear February,

I don’t want any trouble from you.  Just come in, sit down, don’t touch anything, and keep your mouth shut!!

ENGLISH IS A DIFFICULT LANGUAGE.  IT CAN BE UNDERSTOOD THROUGH TOUGH THOROUGH THOUGHT, THOUGH.

Despite setting up a business using my lathe to make religious figures out of wood, I still haven’t managed to turn a prophet.

And that’s it for another issue my friends.  May you have a blessed week until we meet again.