And there it is!  Another weekend, shot to heck!  Gone!  Obliterated… how do they go by so fast?  I just don’t understand it.  I feel like there is so much I want to talk about this morning and at the same time that I want to get into the laughter and jokes and at the same time that I want to … yeah, you get the idea.  It’s been one of those days.

So, what do you say we compromise?

Let’s start off and get into the jokes.  Everybody likes to start their day off with a laff, right?  We’ll throw in some serious stuff here and there and end with … who knows WHAT we’ll end with.

How does that sound to you guys?  I know.  You got nuthin’ to say.  This is not a democracy.  This is not even a monarchy.  This is one dragon to rule them all.  I know, I’m stretching an analogy.  So, let’s just get to this…

No…no, not really…

This is a really great discussion sent into me by Stephanie that I have been trying to find on YouTube so I can show it here.  But I can’t.  So, here’s what you are going to need to do.  CLICK ON THE LINK!!  It’s a Facebook reels or something like that, but you gotta watch it.  It makes SO much sense. https://www.facebook.com/reel/875585130791990

I can smell it, hear it, feel it…heck, I can TASTE it!  That little acrid taste on the tip of your tongue.  You younger guys have NO IDEA what I’m talking about, do you?

And THAT is why this dragon writes!

Our good buddy and fellow camper Stephen B. wrote an email that says:

You posted this…

Have you ever thought while walking down the street and you see someone that just needs to be slapped? Think Hillary!  She is the person I think of.

Oh brother Steve…you are SO right!!!

Well, officially, this is going to happen tomorrow I think.  Unless this is an old meme and this happened years ago and I look like an idiot for posting it now. (Yeah, I’m really THAT much of a sports fan anymore) I say tomorrow because I’m writing this on Saturday when I guess really for you reading this, it happened yesterday.  So weird.  Anyway, if it IS actually THIS Super bowl, I hope she does well.  You KNOW the MSM will hype it to no end.  She probably just loves the game and wants to be involved and couldn’t care less about the rest of the nonsense…or it’s all crap and I’m an idiot.

Another one from Stephanie called “The difference between Imagination and Reality”

Master of all I survey!

Leah just sent this to me.  It’s not funny, but it is worth thinking about…

Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourselves.  And we’re told over and over to share what we have with those that need.  We all have people we know who put themselves in crappy positions.  I am of the acquaintance with some who, month after month are calling around trying to “borrow” $300.  Well, their own family won’t lend them money anymore so that tells you one thing.  There always seems to be enough money for beer and cigarettes, that tells you another.  And yet, almost every month they don’t have enough for rent? 

But there are others, that I would do without myself if they asked for help…and I have.  And there have been times myself, and some quite recently (and if this estate thing doesn’t work itself out soon, it will happen soon again!) where I’ve had to choose between medicine and food.  Most of us are one paycheck away from serious trouble and many of us are one paycheck away from homelessness.

This email from Leah hit me pretty hard, campers.  Be aware of what’s going on with your neighbors.  

Thanks to Ted for sharing this.  You will be missed, brother.

This one is from Paul K.  and we’re going to call it …

   MAYO CLINIC – DRINKING WATER, VERY INTERESTING!!! WATER AND ASPIRIN.

  A cardiologist determined that heart attacks can be triggered by dehydration. Good Thing To Know. From The Mayo Clinic. How many folks do you know who say they don’t want to drink anything before going to bed because they’ll have to get up during the night?

  Heart Attack and Drinking Water – Drinking one glass of water before going to bed helps to avoid a stroke or a heart attack.

  INTERESTING Something else I didn’t know … I asked my doctor why people need to urinate so much at nighttime.

 ANSWER FROM MY CARDIAC DOCTOR: Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs swell). When you lie down and the lower body (legs and etc.) seeks level with the kidneys, it is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier. I knew you need your minimum water to help flush the toxins out of your body, but this was news to me.

  CORRECT TIME TO DRINK WATER… VERY IMPORTANT.
FROM A CARDIAC SPECIALIST! 

  Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body: 2 glasses of water after waking up – helps activate internal organs 1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal – helps digestion 1 glass of water before taking a bath – helps lower blood pressure 1 glass of water before going to bed – avoids stroke or heart attack can also add to this.

  My Physician told me that water at bedtime will also help prevent nighttime leg cramps. Your leg muscles are seeking hydration when the cramp and wake you up with a Charlie Horse. 

  MAYO CLINIC ON ASPIRIN – Dr. Virend Somers is a Cardiologist from the Mayo Clinic who is the lead author of the report in the July 29, 2008 issue of the Journal of the American College of Cardiology. Most heart attacks occur in the day, generally between 6 A.M. and noon. Having one during the night, when the heart should be most at rest, means that something unusual happened. Somers and his colleagues have been working for a decade to show that sleep apnea is to blame.

1. If you take an aspirin or a baby aspirin once a day, take it at night. THE REASON: Aspirin has a 24-hour “half-life”; therefore, in most heart attacks happen in the wee hours of the morning, the Aspirin would be strongest in your system.
2. Aspirin lasts a really long time in your medicine chest; for years. (When it gets old, it smells like vinegar.)

  PLEASE READ ON. Something that we can do to help ourselves – nice to know. Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve instantly on the tongue. They work much faster than the tablets. Why keep Aspirin by your bedside?

  IT’S ABOUT HEART ATTACKS -There are other symptoms of a heart attack, besides the pain on the left arm. One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating; however, these symptoms may also occur less frequently.

  NOTE: There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack. When the majority of heart attacks happen, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep. If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water.

  Afterwards: – Call 911. – Phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by. Say “heart attack!” – Say that you have taken 2. Aspirins – Take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door and wait for their arrival and …….DO NOT LIE DOWN!

  A Cardiologist has stated that if each person after receiving this e-mail, sends it to 10 people, probably one life could be saved! I have already shared this information. What about you?

    DO FORWARD THIS MESSAGE. IT MAY SAVE LIVES!

There was ever so much that I learned from this article.  There was some that I was already doing right and some that I was not doing at all.  Thanks Paul for sending this in!  Share this with your friends, campers.

THIS!!!  THIS RIGHT HERE!!!!  This is why none of us can ever have nice things!!!

One of my all time favorites!

Okay, how many of you find it absolutely impossible to believe that 1984 was 40 YEARS AGO!!!

HOW TO FEED A PILL TO A CAT: 

Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill inside end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. Call fire brigade to retrieve the bloody cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap. Tie the little b**tard’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. 

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL: 

Wrap it in cheese.

And if you want to make it exciting with the dog, wrap it in bacon.

This tree looks SO COOL!!  I would truly love to find out where it’s at and spend some time there!

Another one of those links from Stephanie that you should watch, because, like the title of the email that she sent it in, It Really Does…https://www.facebook.com/reel/307276849010345

That ought to do it!

I really try to see the best in people…

But there is a new level of stupidity out there that makes it downright challenging.

So, the CIA can hack into my TV and listen to every word I say, but McDonald’s can’t hear me say, “No Pickles!” through their drive-thru speaker?

ELECTRIC CARS: 
A plan that doesn’t work to fix a problem that doesn’t exist.

Folks, this is the sad, honest truth.  If the essay that is percolating in the back of my head comes to fruition before this gets published on Monday, you will see it in the Last Word.  If not, I’m sure you will see it soon.  Campers…my dear friends…NO ONE IS COMING TO RESCUE US.  And if I’ve figured this out correctly, even God has cut this country loose.  Not the Christian believers IN the country.  But America itself because it won’t obey God’s will.

Ponder this for a moment. 
The wind farm in Mt. Pulaski has been running for 3 1/2 years.  They have been replacing the generators in all the wind towers.  There are 100 of them in this wind farm.  So evidently the life span on the generators on these things is about 3 to 4 years.  It takes 12 semi trucks and trailers, a 9 axle 500,000 lb. crane, a 100,000 lb. crane, and 12 pickup trucks to change each generator.  That is a huge amount of diesel fuel being used to maintain these wind towers.
And the “Green Groups” would like you to believe they are all fueled by magic fairy dust.

I don’t care how you figure it…that has GOT to be a negative net worth for those wind farms.

That is the PERFECT analogy!!

A vote is not a Valentine.  You are not confessing your love for the candidate.  It’s a chess move for the world you want to live in.

Senior Advice  Some old some new, all of it’s good.

• The ability to speak several languages is an asset, 
  But the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.
  
  
• Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision! 
  The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.  This is great advice for ANYONE.  One of the things that I taught ALL restaurant managers, and I teach new Emergency Managers, Emergency Operation Center workers, etc. Make a decision!  Get off the dime!  Right or wrong, usually ANY decision is better than no decision at all.  If it’s wrong, we can fix it.
  
  
• When I get a headache, I take two aspirins and keep away from children. 
  Just like the bottle says.
  
  
• Becoming an adult …
  Is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.
  
  
• If you see me talking to myself, just move along. 
  I’m self-employed. We’re having a meeting.
  
  
• “Your call is very important to us …
  Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo.”

• Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags, 
  Or is it just me?

• Today’s 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. 
  When I was 3, I ate mud.

• Tip for a successful marriage: 
  Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.

• So, you drive across town to a gym …
  To walk on a treadmill?

• Old age is coming …
  At a really bad time.

• If God wanted me to touch my toes, 
  He would’ve put them on my knees.

• Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. 
  We haven’t met yet.

• Why do I have to press one for English, 
  When you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

• Now, I’m wondering . . . 
  Did I send this to you, did you send it to me or have I only sent it to myself?

• You don’t need anger management. 
  You need people to stop irritating you.

• Your people skills are just fine. 
  It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

• “On time” is, 
  When you get there.

• Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – 
  But it sure does muffle the sound.

• It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, 
  Then come out wrinkle-free…and three sizes smaller.

• Lately, you’ve noticed people your age, 
  Are so much older than you.

• “One for the road” … 
  Means peeing before you leave the house.

My wife minored in psychology.  She’s always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.

When I fired the pool boy, she said, “Well, you know, you’re only firing him because he’s so young and good-looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you’re projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, because these feelings are just too traumatic for you to deal with.”

I said, “Honey…we don’t have a pool.”

How did “the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog” become the typical sentence that contains all letters of the alphabet and not “sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow” which is objectively a million times cooler.

I’m in Home Depot and some little kid called me an old fart…

So…if you’re missing your kid…he’s in the red LG dryer…aisle 17…learning some manners.

Son:  Hey Dad, I have an imaginary girlfriend. 

Dad:  You can do better. 

Son:  Thanks, Dad. 

Dad:  I wasn’t talking to you.

I do!  According to what I just read, because I was curious as to whether it was a real memory or not, seatbelts started showing up in cars as early as the mid 1950’s, which would have pre-dated old Impish Dragon.  But weren’t federally mandated until the 1968 model, which would have put me at about 10 years old.  So yeah.  It’s probably a real memory.  My first car, a ’67 Plymouth Barracuda, which I adored, by the way, had seatbelts, but I wonder if they were factory installed or after market.  The article went on to say that even though they were installed in all cars as of the 1968 model year, many drivers and passengers simply refused to wear them.

This next one is, of course, from our own dear Stephanie…who else?  Click on the title and it should take you there.  If not, click here: http://The Worst Things For Sale The Internet’s most horrible items. A daily blog.

The Worst Things For Sale

The Internet’s most horrible items. A daily blog.

Since we’re getting very near the end of today’s episode and I recently got a couple of comments that I want to share and a few other things as well, I think…I say I think because I’m not really sure.  Today is Sunday and it’s been a really … um … filled Sunday.  I’ll let it go at that for now.  Anyway, first comment from Leah, I thought everyone had figured this one out.

I would have HAD to go ask.  That’s crazy.  Unless it went to a bunch of different carrier facilities in the same city to pick up more packages before starting the route for the day or something…but it starts at 0500 and goes until 1800!

Anyway, from Evan:

Again from dear Stephanie, this one will easily chase you down a rabbit hole if you’re not careful!

List of Unusual Deaths

Okay, I don’t get that one…someone wanna help me out, here?

A scammer called my grandma and said he had all her passwords.

She got a pen and paper and said, “Thank God for that, what are they?”

Okay, I’m not going to get a chance to get to the other things I wanted to get to by the close of this episode.  The Holy Spirit is pushing me to write another essay and keeps whispering into my head about what to write and He is telling me and I’m writing it and I’m really not happy with the way it is coming out.  So, in the middle of like the third rewrite.  I was hoping to share it with you guys, but maybe for Thursday.  Anyway, be well, be happy, be Blessed until next time.