Hey!  Welcome to Thursday!

On Monday I got a great letter in the mail addressed to my brother’s estate.  It was from some initialed LLC out of Minnesota.  They said they had a financial matter they needed to discuss with whoever was handling the estate and they were sorry, but due to legalities, they couldn’t give any details until they determined who that was and if I knew who that was, could I please write back and let them know or if I was REALLY kind I could give them a call.

Of course, it was a collection agency for Verizon phone company.  Yeah, the same ones who said they would cancel out his last bill.  I explained to the very polite man who finally answered the phone what the situation was and he was actually the nicest collector I’ve ever dealt with.  So, I didn’t get to tease him at all.  He’s going to send me a letter, acknowledging what’s going on and will check back with me in about 60 days.

So, with that as the start of today’s issue…

I googled my symptoms.  Turns out I just needed to go on a vacation.

Here you go youngsters, here’s a hint… “Come and knock on our door…”

I got 10 out of the 15

A genie granted me one wish, so I said “I just want to be happy.”

Now I’m living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.

Fuel prices are so high that I went to the car dealership and test drove 3 cars to run my errands. 

Follow me for more money saving tips.

“Tell me ‘No’ again and I will slap you into next week…”

My teacher said, “Don’t worry about spelling.  In the future there will always be autocorrect.”  For that I’m eternally grapefruit.

As has been the case lately, this site is from Stephanie…

Freedom of Information Act Electronic Reading Room | CIA FOIA (foia.cia.gov)

I do get sucked into rabbit holes.  https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/home

Truly a very interesting website. 

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:

“They’ve stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!” she cried.

The dispatcher said, “Stay calm. An officer is on the way.”

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. “Disregard.” he says.

“She got in the back seat by mistake.”

You guys remember the scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey where the apes discover the violence that can be had with a stick?  For some reason this picture reminds me of that scene. 

And here’s another one from Stephanie…

Amazon price tracker, Amazon price history charts, price watches, and price drop alerts. | camelcamelcamel.com

https://camelcamelcamel.com/

I haven’t checked on this site at all yet.  So, check it out and let me know what you think.

A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London, and was in a hurry.

As they went by the Tower of London the cabbie explained what it was and that construction started in 1346 and it was completed in 1412 

 The Texan replied, “Shoot, a little ol’ tower like that? In Houston we’d have that thing up in two weeks!” 

House of Parliament next – Started construction in 1544,completed 1618.

Heck boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a year!” 

As they passed Westminister Abbey the cabby was silent. “Whoah! What’s that over there?” 

Darned if I know, wasn’t there yesterday…” 

And another one…

GeoGuessr – Let’s explore the world!

My husband got lost in this game for about 3 years. Once got within 10 feet of the locale. https://www.geoguessr.com/

And finally, one last site from Stephanie…and this one is pretty neat.

Tip of My Tongue – Chirag Mehta : chir.ag

Go here: https://chir.ag/projects/tip-of-my-tongue/

An attractive older woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and asks for a Scotch with only two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today!”

The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.” As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, “I would like to buy you a drink, too,” The old woman says, “Thank you for your kindness. Mr. Bartender, I’ll have a Scotch with only two drops of water.”

“Coming right up,” says the bartender.

As she finishes her second drink, the man to her left says, “I would like to buy you one too.” The old woman says, “Thank you for your kindness. Bartender, I’ll have another Scotch with only two drops of water.”

Coming right up,” the bartender says. As he gives her the drink the bartender says, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”

The woman replies, “Kid, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole different issue!”

I don’t like to think before I speak…

I like to be just as surprised as everyone else about what I say.

I don’t know if Facebook has ever caused the lame to walk, but it sure has caused the dumb to speak.

Having a teenage daughter is like having a cat that only comes out to eat and hisses when you try and be nice to it.

Never make a woman mad.  They can remember stuff that hasn’t even happened yet.

Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong!

Why do eggs come in flimsy Styrofoam cartons…

When batteries come in a package only a chainsaw can open?

For the past 25 years, my wife has been complaining about me not putting the cap back on the toothpaste.

This anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.

For a week, I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste tube.

I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.

Finally, yesterday while having dinner, she turned and looked at me and said, “Why have you stopped brushing your teeth??” 

Marriage is a difficult relationship, I tell you.

Lastly tonight, I’d like to share this comment from our dear friend from South Africa…

Great comment Wouter.  Much appreciated and that is an awesome page.  The article made me laugh.  Loved the snakes, but I still want a flame thrower.  Can you imagine the rude guy who cuts you off in traffic and you pull up beside him rolling down the highway and set that thing off?!?!  I laugh just thinking about it!  Almost as much fun as this!…

Except in my human form!  Way too much fun!  Oh, by the way, there is a really good video of the flame thrower at work on the link Brother Wouter sent us.  Thanks, Wouter.  Groete!

And that’s it my friends…until next time!