I just finished up Monday’s issue and I thought I really ought to get a start on Thursday since I just have a feeling that this week is going to be a busy one.  I don’t know why, but I just do.  So, I don’t really have anything to say and I am REALLY tired of sitting behind this keyboard, so I’m going to just get it going and then maybe come back to it before I have to go and pick Izzy up from work, how does that sound?

There are people out there training for marathons…

And here I am, on the couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger.

The other day I spotted an albino Dalmatian.

It’s the least I could do for him.

Man, how many youngsters would have no clue and would be calling that number…would that not be an AWESOME number to have!!!!

Someone is NOT following the rules.

Where did Captain Hook buy his hook…???

At a second hand store!

 

I just deleted a very good friend for posting “Jobs should higher you weather you have a fella knee or mister meaner“

My co-worker said to me today:  You shouldn’t eat red meat! 

I said:  My grandfather lived to be 100 years old.  

He said:  Did he eat red meat? 

I said:  No, he minded his own business.

Lawyer:  My client is trapped inside a penny 

Judge:  What? 

Lawyer:  He’s in a cent. 

Judge:  You’re going to jail with him

It’s all part of His plan.  Trust it all.

It’s all there.  Dig deep.  It’s just pain.

A patient inquiring about birth control was adamant she wanted an IED…(which we all know stands for Improvised Explosive Device)

Zoomer got Tik Tok

Millennials got MySpace

Gen X got AOL

Boomers got to buy a house and go to college while supporting themselves with a minimum wage job

Well, maybe not a minimum wage job, but … well…yeah.

My son on why Caleb is his best friend at kindergarten:  He doesn’t really speak English, so we can skip all the talking and just get right to the karate.

This one is from Joe from NJ.  Nudist Camp Owner on the old TV Show “What’s My Line”  From a time that was so much simpler than now. 

Imagine the Olympics but instead of it being world class athletes it’s just random people who get selected. 
Like you get a letter informing you you’ve been selected for the national gymnastics team and you just have to do it.
It’d be so much more entertaining.

So, Friggin’ Pete writes and says: 

So, I found this new route to the store……I’m feelin a shopping frenzy comin on…..

Thinking about the time that I said that I was distantly related to Marie Curie and a guy explained, “It’s pronounced Mariah Carey.” 

Disgusting

Stealth Jet

Sex after a certain age should be removed from the list of sins and placed in the list of miracles!

The most dangerous animal in the world…

Is a smiling woman sitting in silence.

You’re as smooth as taters and whiskey. Or whatever Chris Stapleton said.

What if Snow White was just pretending to be asleep so she didn’t have to clean up after little people anymore?

I totally get that.

Have you ever met someone so stupid you felt bad for their dog?

Some people will watch you fall like a star and make a wish for their own well-being.

~ Shilpa Goel

My girlfriend pissed me off in my dream so when I woke up and told her about it she said, “it was probably something you started” and somehow I ended up apologizing.

Nothing starts my day off quite like when I give inspirational messages to my friends.  May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear not ride up your butt.

And that’s it.  A pretty bland issue as issues go, but fun, none-the-less.  I hope you enjoyed it just the same.  May God Bless you all until we meet again.