Life keeps getting interesting.  My lawnmower, a nice ride-on craftsman, is giving me problems.  Turned  it in to the repair shop, had a real nice conversation about religion and bibles with the owner.  He had a stack of bibles on the counter, so I took that as an opportunity to talk to him.  Spent more time talking about that then about my machine.  He’ll do me well.  But, I’m still worried about it. 

But, then I thought, it’ll all work out.  It always does because God always makes sure it does.  Even when I don’t think He does…He does.  He takes care of me, even when I don’t think He does.  So Lord, if you could see Your way clear to not kicking my butt too bad on the mower repairs, that would be Great!  

I feel like I got a lot of work done today, which is Saturday, by the way…today…Saturday…all I really did was turn the mower in, did a teeny-tiny bit of grocery shopping (only spent like $35 so that tells you how teeny-tiny it was), cut up a big box and put it out for the trash, did a load of laundry, vacuumed the floor, and now started this Thursday issue of Dragon Laffs.  I also started watching SEAL Team on Paramount + from the first season.  It’s actually a pretty good show, even if they’ve gotten the specs on the chemical weapons wrong, but … the average person wouldn’t know that.  It’s a good show.  It’s distracting me from doing this.  LOL! 

Have you heard of the crap that Jason Aldean is going through over his new song, Try that In A Small Town?  The song was blocked from CMT, people are calling him a racist, a bigot, and saying that he is making money off of bigotry.  I am mad as hell over it, because that is NOT what he is saying at all!  Now, anyone of you who knows me, knows that I am NOT a fan of country music.  Not in the least, but I’m putting his song up, right here for you guys to judge for yourself.

Now, you tell me.  How many of you have wanted to say the exact same thing?  “Wish they’d try that crap around here!  We’d straighten their butts out!”  That’s all he’s saying.  If any individual race, party or organization feels as though they are being singled out or discriminated against, then maybe they need to take a good hard look at themselves in the mirror, hit their knees and ask God for some forgiveness and direction.  Because I don’t see anything wrong with this man’s song AT ALL!!! 

Now, enough about that.  Let’s move on to other things, because right now, I’m mad as hell, I just got done having a yelling match at Izzy because, of course, my little communist takes the other side of things, and I need something to laugh about.

Okay, that last part sounds like a threat!

And if we’re going to do videos, here’s one that Ted sent me by Toby Keith called Happy Birthday America.  Why do they all have to be country music?  Thanks Ted!!

AAANNNDDD I guess we’re STILL doing videos because Leah D sends this email:

I’ve been thinking, you need a theme song.  What would someone else nominate?

I nominate Arrow’s, 1982:

So Leah wants to get a theme song for … not sure which.  Either Dragon Laffs or me, Impish Dragon.  We are almost synonymous, but not quite.  So, she is soliciting suggestions, nominations, or what have you.  What do you guys think?  She’s calling it, the Theme Song Challenge

[Ordering cake over phone] “And what would you like the cake to say?”

[Covering phone to ask wife] “Do we want a talking cake?”

“You know we’re going to have to fly down there and eat someone, just to make a point, right?”

“Yeah, I know…”

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer.  So…same thing.

He is really cute.

Him:  Tell me your wildest fantasy? 

Her:  Sleeping through the night, and waking up to a clean house, a fit body, no wrinkles, laundry done and put away, a full on buffet breakfast with no calories, and a million bucks in my purse.

Have y’all ever tried doing the speed limit and thought they can’t be serious!

Deadly and beautiful

U-Haul has the worst drivers of any company.

Research shows that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog.  So, now I’m sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.

Why do I have to use leaves as toilet paper when I go camping, while we have bears out there using Charmin?

I can look past most of your flaws.
Emotionally distant?  Okay.
Slight drinking problem?  Fine.
Killed a man once due to circumstances you can’t talk about?  Whatever.
But saying, “I seen,” instead of  “I saw,” is just something I can’t and won’t tolerate.

Pay attention to how people talk about other people to you in private.

Because that’s exactly how they talk about you to others.

Why’s it just got to be winter.  Why can’t we drive with cake all year round?

Shouldn’t be a real problem

Now see this one I get.  There is so little of it, that it is pretty important to take care of it.

20’s:  I hope I can be normal long enough for them to like me. 

30’s:  They can like me or not.  I don’t care.

40’s:  Maybe if I act REALLY weird they will leave and I can go to bed early.

I was winning an argument with the wife, but then she took her top off…

I was speechless, it was a booby trap.

Fact of the Day:

Hot Showers At Alcatraz

Alcatraz, the infamous island prison located in the San Francisco Bay, allowed its prisoners to take hot showers.  This wasn’t out of kindness, this was a deterrent to those thinking about fleeing by swimming across the much colder waters.

Yeah, THAT worked well.

I TRY TO BE A NICE PERSON… BUT SOMETIMES MY MOUTH DOESN’T COOPERATE.

Fact of the Day:

The Science of Kissing

The science of kissing has an official name.  And that name is Philematology.  

Don’t give up on your dreams

Go back to bed

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Fact of the Day:

It’s About The Same Size

What do the city of San Francisco and Disney World in Orlando have in common?  They are roughly the same size, approximately 40 square miles.  

I have a pet manatee named Hugh.  I built him a house.  It’s a habitat for Hugh manatee.

Scientists discover how trees communicate.

They bark.

Okay, so with that sage advice, we’ll call it a day.  May God Bless and keep you all until next time.