And what a rose bush it’s turning out to be!  It’s a monster!  I bought for Mary for Mother’s Day several years ago, it was just a tiny thing, and we never trimmed it, and now it is monstrous.  Here it is from the other side where you can see the whole thing:

And you guys think when I tell you that my backyard is a jungle that I’m kidding.

Anyway, lots of fun stuff to get to today, so what do you say that we get to some of it.  I’m sure before the issue is out I’ll have something to rant about…maybe.  We’ll see, but in the mean time…

How about we start out with a passel full of Calvin and Hobbs? 

Now, let’s do a riddle from Aussie Pete:

How can you physically stand behind your dad while he is standing behind you?

We’ll get to the answer to that one in a minute, right after we do some more…

Okay, the answer to the first riddle was…. The Father and Son stand back to back!  Oh come on, that one was easy!  Okay, here comes the second riddle from our buddy Aussie Pete:

What is seen in the middle of March and April that isn’t seen at the start or end of either month?

While you ponder that, let’s ponder these:

So, how’d you do on the second riddle?  Did you get it?  Why the answer, of course, is The Letter “R”.  Okay, one more chance on the riddles, here goes the last one from Aussie Pete:

Which English word has three consecutive double letters?

Think you know what it is?  I think I’ve got it.  We’ll both  see in just a minute…

Yeah, I’m not sure you’re going to continue to feel that way as you grow up there Calvin

This one cracked me up!

Are you ready?  The answer is…. BOOKKEEPER.  Yes it is!  YES IT IS!  Okay, then what did you come up with?  Let me know in the comments section.  Thanks Pete.  This was fun!

I went and visited a school class a few years ago and this is one of the pictures that one of the little guys drew for me.  We did get to go outside and play in the fields, so it was kinda cool that he drew a picture of it.

You would be really busy, dude!

Just wondering if he’s in Kentucky…

I’m sorry, this next one made me laugh out loud for a long time…

My mate has a bad stutter and, by the time he told us his Nanna had died, we were all singing “Hey Jude”

I know…but I couldn’t help myself.

You can say, “Have a nice day” and there’s no problems.  But say, “Enjoy the next 24 hours” and it sounds vaguely threatening.

I’ve invented a new game called Silent Tennis.

It’s like regular tennis but without the racquet.

I really don’t think it’s going to take that long.

Friends with … um … wings.

Do you think that’s what they mean by “Curiosity Killed the Cat”?

My art instructor complimented my painting of a ring-shaped reef island…

He said, “Not bad, not bad atoll.”

I can show you what it  looks like from the inside…

So, you need to be careful when you open one of those things up.

The Most Dangerous Animal in the World…

Is a Smiling Woman Sitting in Silence.

Um…he’s right.

I’ve lost way more than that on the Jameson diet

“Are you decent?”

Not morally, but I’m wearing pants if that’s what you’re asking.

Now, here’s something new…

Facebook is proof that you’re never too old to have imaginary friends.

Vaping is weird — 
You walk past a group of dudes who look like gangsters but smell like strawberry muffins…

A creature rose up out of the surf and came sloshing ashore.  Its garments were made of green sea lettuce.  “I am the friendly Witch of the Sand,” she said, “and I am only going to sunbathe.”  The sun was terribly hot.  Her skin began to bake and it turned as red as a ripe tomato!!  Have you ever seen a baking lettuce and tomato Sand Witch?

When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it.  He said, “Probably, but I wouldn’t count on it.”

I used to wonder how the devil could deceive entire nations like the Bible said he would.

I don’t wonder about that anymore.

Let’s play a fun quarantine game!

Someone leave a bottle of wine on my front doorstep and I’ll try to guess who it was.

The only sexual knowledge a 3rd grade boy needs to know is that girls have cooties!

Apparently not to a single person in the justice system!!!

And such an incredible shame it is!  And what the heck is the one in the lower left?  I had to go on line and look it up to find out what it even was!!!  It’s the transgender flag.  And it’s a hate crime to “desecrate” any of those other rags but you can do whatever you want to the American flag and that’s fine?!?!  AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!! 

[mumbling under his breath] I’m not gonna rant!  I’m not gonna rant!  I’m not gonna rant!  Not gonna rant! NotGonnaRant! NotGonnaRant! notgonnarant, notgonnarant, notrant, not,not, not

These memes aren’t making this any easier!!!!!
But I do know the answer to this question…
BECAUSE THE PARTY THAT IS IN POWER ARE ALL TRAITOROUS BASTARDS!!!

It’s still a lie!  There’s not a damn honorable thing about what he’s done to this country!!

“Some people drink from the Fountain of Knowledge, others just gargle.”

~ Robert Anthony

Stranger:  Nice to meet you.

Me: Give it time.

This next one is from our good buddy Sasquatch and it’s an oldie, but a goodie AND it’s one of my favorite jokes of all time

An elderly man just nudges the rear end of an expensive sports car.

Enraged, the driver hops out of his car and confronts the old man. “Look what you did to my car” he yells. “You’re gonna give me $10,000 right now or I’m gonna beat you to a bloody pulp!”

“Oh my” says the old man, “I don’t have that kind of money. Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he’ll know what to do.”

“Dolphins?”, the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes.

The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as the son answers, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.

“So, YOU’RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, your old man here just rear ended my car and I need ten grand right now or I’m gonna beat you AND your old man to a bloody pulp”.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” says the voice calmly on the other end.

Exactly ten minutes later a jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a bloody heap on the side of the road.

When he’s finished, he walks over to his father and says: “for the LAST TIME Dad…. I train SEALS…. NAVY SEALS…. NOT dolphins”

Man, I love that joke, probably just because I love to see bullies get their just desserts.

The good news is, I’m pretty much who I say I am.

The bad news is, I’m pretty much who I say I am.

Great sex puts me in a great mood.

Also explains why I’m rarely in a great mood.

A man sees a job advertisment published on a building site, “Handy man wanted; apply within”.  The man goes to speak to the foreman and applies.

Foreman:  Can you drive a forklift truck?

Man:  No 

Foreman:  Can you plaster? 

Man:  No 

Foreman:  Can you brick lay? 

Man:  No 

Foreman:  If you don’t mind me asking, what’s handy about you? 

Man:  I only live five minutes down the road.

I fully intend to haunt people when I die.

I have a list…

There was a Roman Emperor who never aged after he turned 19.

His name was Constant-Teen

You come from dust and you will return to dust.

That’s why I don’t dust my house.
It could be someone I know.

And with that my dear friends, we’re going to call it an issue…an episode…complete.  May God Bless you with Love and Happiness and keep you Healthy and Safe until we meet again.