Dragon Laffs #2038


I meant to tell you guys something, yesterday.  Yesterday, and I’m not sure which yesterday this will end up being for you guys so, Thursday, 16 Jun 22, was the 16th Anniversary of Dragon Laffs!

Sixteen years of playing games with you guys.  Sweet Sixteen!

It’s been an amazing trip my friends, truly it has been.  And here’s to another 16 years of fun and mayhem!  Who’s with me?  Yay!!!  [Runs off stage to the sound of thunderous applause] (or) [Runs off stage to the sound of thunderous crickets] (please circle the appropriate response)

So, yeah, feeling pretty good again today.  Got another decent night’s sleep.  Pain level is at a reasonable height. And I’m moving around quite well.  I actually made it out to the back pergola and read and smoked a cigar.  That might not sound like much to you guys, but it’s five steps down the back porch and then two BIG steps up the pergola!  And then sat in the HOT sun (but I was under the cool shade with a nice breeze, early before it got too hot).  I managed to bring my phone, tablet, and cigar with me, and … I DID IT ALL ON MY OWN!!!! 

Now, before my nurses out there have a meltdown and show up at my front door to punch me out a blackeye, I did have Izzy Dragon near enough to rescue me in case I got into trouble, but I wanted to do it by myself, including the transport of my needed supplies, and I DID IT!  Quite proud of myself after only 4 days post surgery. 

But enough about me!  Let’s get this party started.  Or this camping trip going.  Or this…you understand. 

And the funny thing is, I know of this “Chicken Gun” of which they speak.  In all honesty, the gun was designed to shoot LIVE chickens at windshield canopies!  And that’s what they did at first.  And if you go on line and google chicken gun, you will find all kinds of information.  Here’s a NEWER version of the gun:

Then the animal rights people stepped in and they couldn’t use live chickens anymore and had to use dead chickens.  And that’s a little bit MORE of that story.

That is SO AWESOME!!!  Me too!  Me too!  I want to call them food weapons, too!!

Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting into your eyes, but when I do have something in my eye, it’s always an eyelash.
Eyeronic

 

Stephanie: “Apologizing won’t make it go away.  You have deadlines.  Responsibilities!”

Impish Dragon: “I didn’t apologize.  I said I was sorry you couldn’t see things my way.”

I saw a guy at the coffee shop today.
No mobile phone, no tablet, no laptop.
He just sat there drinking coffee.
He looked totally out of place.

Well, I didn’t get this one done on time … as you could tell since you aren’t reading this on Saturday, but you are reading it on Sunday.  I had a bit of a rough night last night.  And I’m having a bit of a rough day today.  Not pain wise or anything, but my night was filled with nightmares and spiraling grief and depression.  And today, of course, there are no nightmares, but the grief and depression are doing their best to kick my ass.  So, I’m going to do my best to take my dragon ass back.  And in that regard, we go back to the fun and laughter.

COME ON!!  LET’S DO THIS!!

“Honey, your Uber is here…”

I heard someone call a corn dog a “Meat Twinkie” and life just feels different now.

Damn!  I wish I had thought of that!

Checkers Be Like:

He didn’t say that, and if he did, he didn’t mean it, and if he did you don’t understand it, and if you did,  it’s not a big deal, and if it is, it’s taken out of context, and if it wasn’t, others have done it, and if they haven’t, at least mean orange man gone.

And you kids think you have it so good now with  your smart phones and stuff.  When I was a kid, you could order your own Nuclear Reactor through the MAIL!!!

Question:  What is the world’s tallest building?

Answer:  The library because it has the most stories.

I have so much admiration for whoever it was that put up this plaque.  ESPECIALLY if it’s just up on a building somewhere with no explanation.

You ain’t never danced, until you Danced with Dragons

“Look into my eyes! Look deeply into my eyes!  Yo!  Jack!  My eyes are up here!”

One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class. 

Teacher:  What kind of wife would you like Johnny?  

Johnny:  I would want a wife like the moon.

Teacher:  Wow!  What a choice…Do you want her to be beautiful and calm like the moon? 

Johnny:  No, I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning…

Yes, I know it’s an old joke…

I yelled “COW!” at a woman on a bike and she gave me the finger. 

Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow.

I tried.

A group of kids is called a migraine.

I recently spent $8,000 on a young, registered Black Angus bull.  I put him out with the herd, but he just ate grass and wouldn’t even look at a cow.  I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.  Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him.  He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.  The bull started to service the cows within two days. All of my cows!  He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor’s cows!  He’s like a machine!  I don’t know what was in the pills the Vet gave him…but, they taste like peppermint.

If you praise a woman who aborted her child because “She did what was best for herself”, then I hope you praise men for abandoning their children because “they did what was best for themselves.”

I actually knew a guy who tried this.  He got pulled over by the cops and ordered to take them down.

Men are not intimidated by “strong women.”

But far too many women believe that being aggressive, rude and generally unpleasant makes them “strong.”

No.  It makes you insufferable.

It’s not that we “can’t handle you”, quite the contrary.  We just prefer not to, in light of much better options.

Yup, that’s exactly where it’s at.

(Just like me)

Wanna know what it’s like living in the South?  Take a hot shower.  Don’t dry off.  Put on all your clothes.

You may not see them suffer like they made you suffer, but believe me, their biggest punishment is that they are who they are.

When I was a kid, they didn’t take me to a psychologist… my mom was able to open my chakra, stabilize my karma, and clean my aura with one single slap!

What a cool looking pergola thingy.  I like it!

Don’t judge someone just because they sin differently than you.

That is so cool and one hell of an end table!

And with that we are at an end of this issue.  Thanks for hanging in with me folks.  I hope you guys had as much fun with this issue as I did.  May your Sunday be filled with Love and Happiness.

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5 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2038

  1. Stephanie says:

    I refuse to acknowledge your point of view, when you are wrong

  2. Leah D says:

    HAPPY FATHER’S DAY IMPISH!
    Want that tree console? Know anyone with a 3-D printer?
    Speaking of trees . . . have you ever watched Treehouse Masters? I saved that neat ‘pergola*’ picture for the day I can hand it to Pete Nelson as a guide for my treehouse.
    *I’m thinking it is more of a gazebo: The main difference between a pergola and a gazebo is the function of the roof. A gazebo and a pavilion provide full coverage from the sun, while a pergola allows for sunlight to shine through its slatted roof.

  3. reijo says:

    Congrats on 16 years

  4. Trish Gilbert says:

    Congrats on your 16th Anniversary. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

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