Dragon Laffs #1848


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creature

coffee

Good Morning Campers,

It’s Sunday morning and I’m just getting this darts3issue started because we had our big, season end dart banquet yesterday, which means that I played darts from noon until midnight last night.  It was great fun.  I am the treasurer, statistician, record keeper, gopher, tournament director (with Mrs.darts Dragon) and all around go to dragon for the league, so it was a very, very busy day for us yesterday, but we had a lot of fun.  darts1But, needless to say my ass is worn the heck out this morning.  I didn’t win either of the two blind draws we had, in fact, I think the best that I did was fifth place.  But there were some really great moments.  Like for the first tournament, ourdarts2 newest (youngest, most inexperienced) member drew what could arguably be said is either our number one or number two player in the league as her partner.  It was a blind draw which means you randomly draw your partner.  And they ended up taking first place.  He coached her and joked with her.  She was nervous as heck because a lot of these guys take this stuff really seriously and she didn’t want to disappoint him with getting stuck with a new player, but our guys aren’t really like that … for the most part.  The look on her face when she ended up taking out the last out and winning the match was so cool!  Great fun.

Oh, I did a first myself … for any of you dart players out there who may know what this means.  I opened one of my cricket matches with a round of 9 in 20’s for the first time ever!  I’ve hit a Ton 80 before in 501, which is the same 3 darts in the same spot, but never done it in cricket and most certainly never done it to open a match.

And for those of you who didn’t understand a word of what I just said … it looks like this on the dart board:
darts4

And it closes the 20s and gives you 120 points to boot.  The sad part is, I’m pretty sure we went on to loose the match after winning that leg.  Ah well, It’s now time to get our laugh on, don’t you think?  Enough of the dart talk?  I agree …

Let's Laugh

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breaking-news

God was seen in Texas today.
When asked why He is in Texas, God said, “I’m working from home, today.”

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George Carlin once said that if you nail two pieces of wood together that no one has ever nailed together before, some schmuck will buy it from you…I think this falls under the same category.

The Bozo criminal for today just didn’t know when to leave well enough alone. From England comes the story of Freddie Smyth who was arrested and charged with shoplifting. Then when he was brought in to be booked, police couldn’t believe their eyes when the bozo attempted to steal the magnetic letters off the board being held up to his face for his mug shot.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this guy’s got a serious problem.

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I arrived early to the restaurant.  The manager said, “Do you mind waiting a bit?”

I said, “no.”

“Good,” he said.  “Take these drinks to table nine.”

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Kids?  Are you paying attention out there?  Did you get the above lesson?  Let me put it to you this way … picture yourself as a 41 year-old parent trying to get a new job because you lost your last one due to ____ (pick your emergency of choice) and you are standing in front of your potential new boss … uh huh … keep thinking about it … do you get it now?  No?  You’re a fucking idiot.

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Dragon Pix

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“Get off my lawn!”

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Bozo criminal for today comes from Topeka, Kansas where bozo Raymond Fletcher held up a convenience store. When the bozo discovered there was not much money in the register, he decided to wait on customers for a while to build up a little more loot. Yep, he put on a green vest and went to work. His plan failed when one of the clerk’s friends came in and got suspicious when he saw the rather surly looking individual behind the cash register. He called the cops who arrived while the bozo was still hard at work.

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My farmer friend used his stimulus to buy baby chickens.  He got his money for nothing and his chicks for free.

And if you don’t get this reference, you might be too young.

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Fantasy

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“I’m the King (Queen) of the world!”

Or for the dragons out there …. Lunch is served.

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Thanks to Lynn for writing this up so eloquently … I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Rick Klein, the political director for ABC News called for a “cleansing” of Trump’s movement.

“Trump will be an ex-president in 13 days. The fact is that getting rid of Trump is the easy part. Cleansing the movement he commands is going to be something else,” Klein said in a tweet, which he later deleted.

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The majority of the establishment media wants a one-party state where every man, woman and child knows his or her place. Trump’s awakening of the GOP base and others is a threat to that, and it became even more threatening after he began successfully courting Democratic voters last year.

Leftists have used words such as “reconciliation” and “re-education” with regard to how to deal with us since the election. Now ABC News has called for a “cleansing” of the political movement the president created.

While for most of us that movement equates to a robust economy, individual liberty, national sovereignty and a strong military, the hateful establishment media always viewed it as a threat to the status quo.

The actions of a relatively small number of Trump supporters at the Capitol on Wednesday have given these people what they view as a valid reason to delegitimize every one of the tens of millions of Americans who voted against the corrupt Washington and media establishment.

https://www.westernjournal.com/abc-news-calls-cleansing-trump-supporters-wake-capitol-incursion/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=conservativetribune&utm_content=2021-01-08&utm_campaign=manualpost&fbclid=IwAR0hHgW3AC24cNfzJWxD6wBWWKgSKfaYNbYPeonNSP—6b7qW4oLFJKiKZk

And follow the link to show many, many, many times where the democrats encouraged violence over the summer! 

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Can you say hypocrite?

 

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There is an explanation for this … I don’t know what the hell it is … but I’m sure there is an explanation. 

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I don’t curse.  I speak fluent trucker, with a sailor dialect and a construction accent.

Leah says:  A guy answered this: My addition would be I speak fluent Staff Sergeant with blue air capability, using a trucker accent, a sailor’s dialect, and a construction mindset …

And Impish Dragon adds: I speak fluent fucking dragon

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  • More than 70 of the DEMOCRATS didn’t show up for his inauguration.  He hadn’t even been president yet, and 70+ Democrats boycotted the event.  Is that when Trump divided America?
  • 19 minutes after Trump was inaugurated, the Washington Post declared the impeachment campaign has started.  Was that when Trump divided America?
  • Nancy Pelosi ripped up Trump’s State of the Union speech right in front of the world, showing complete disrespect for the President of the United States.  Is that when Trump divided America?
  • America had to endure 3 years and over 40 million dollars spent on trying to prove that Trump only won because of Russian Collusion and not because America voted him in, and then 17 Democrats did everything in their power to prove that there was Russian Collusion … and came up with ZERO.  Was that when Trump divided America?

Think for yourselves.
Who is really dividing America?

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Motivational

x26 Taser

Yankee

Yeah

yeahbaby

yes

yoga

You did there

You don't know jack

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Thanks Bill E.  This one is just Perfect!

The Hooker’s Union

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. 
When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, “Is this a union house?”
“No,” she replied, “I’m sorry it isn’t.”
“Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?”
“The house gets $60 and the girls get $40,” she answered.
Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached  a brothel where the Madam responded, “Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules.”
The man asked, “And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?” 
“The girls get $80 and the house gets $20.”
“That’s more like it!” the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive  blue-eyed blonde. 
“I’d like her,” he said.
 

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“I’m sure you would, sir,” said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 80 year
old woman in the corner,  “but Nancy here has 40 years seniority and
according to union rules, she’s next.”

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NOW  you know what’s wrong with the seniority system in the House  and Senate. 

Absolutely perfect.

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Thanks to John S. for this trip down memory lane…

The History of ‘APRONS’ 
… I don’t think our kids know what an apron is. The principle use of
Mom’s apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only
had a few.

It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and
aprons used less material.

But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans
from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children’s tears, and on occasion was even
used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy

chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids..


And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her arms.


Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot
wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.


From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had

been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from
the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much
furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her
apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will

replace that ‘old-time apron’ that served so many purposes.

I don’t think I ever caught anything from an apron – but love.

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Apparently, walking around WalMart with an Alka-Seltzer in my mouth yelling, “The VACCINE ISN’T WORKING!” isn’t funny.

Yeah, I think I’ve used that one before … but it’s funny!!!

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Child:  Dad, I’m cold.

Dad:  Go to the corner, it’s 90 degrees.

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Trump said a LOT of Crazy Stuff in his Tweets the past Four Years…
Let’s examine them:
He said: My offices are bugged. He was right.
He said: The FBI, CIA, DOJ and the Obama administration were plotting against him. He was right.
He said: The media both liberal and social are liars . He labeled them FAKE NEWS. He was right.
He said: Russian collision was a hoax. He was right.
He said: He could bring manufacturing back. He was right.
He said: If we build a wall and manage immigration it will create jobs. He was right.
He said: Joe and Hunter got rich off of shady corrupt deals with the Ukraine and China. He was right.
He said: new trade deals would be better for the people. He was right.
He said: Moving the embassy to Jerusalem would be the right decision. He was right
He said: getting us out of un-winnable wars would create peace. He was right.
He said the Clintons were corrupt. He was right. And still are!
He said: locking up minority’s for decades for non violent offenses was wrong so he changed it. He was right.
He said: Jobs are worth way more than welfare so he gave the people jobs.
He was right.
He said: our government is filled with corrupt people and he will fight to drain the swamp and right the wrongs. He is right.
President Trump has been right on just about everything he said. So when he says the election was rigged I’ll bet my life on him being right. 74 million strong Sir, we got your back.Copy and share…

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Remember Khrushchev’s Quote?

IT HAS TAKEN 60 YEARS, BUT IT SEEMS THAT WE WILL SOON BE THERE

THIS WAS HIS ENTIRE QUOTE:  A sobering reminder.  It’s been almost sixty-one years since Khrushchev delivered this.

Do you remember September 29, 1959?

THIS WAS HIS ENTIRE QUOTE:

“Your children’s children will live under communism. You Americans are so gullible.  No, you won’t accept communism outright; but we will keep feeding you small doses of socialism until you will finally wake up and find you already have Communism.  We will not have to fight you; We will so weaken your economy until you fall like overripe fruit into our hands.”  “The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.”

Do you remember what Khrushchev said in 1959?

Remember, socialism leads to Communism. So, how do you create a Socialistic State?

There are 8 levels of control; read the following recipe:

1) Healthcare – Control healthcare, and you control the people.

2) Poverty – Increase the poverty level as high as possible. Poor people are easier to control and will not fight back if you are providing everything for them.

3) Debt – Increase the debt to an unsustainable level. That way, you are able to increase taxes, and this will produce more poverty.

4) Gun Control – Remove the ability to defend themselves from the Government. That way, you are able to create a police state.

5) Welfare – Take control of every aspect (food, housing, income) of their lives because that will make them fully dependent on the government.

6) Education – Take control of what people read and listen to and control what children learn in school.

7) Religion – Remove God’s belief from the Government and schools because the people need to believe in ONLY the government knowing what is best for the people.

8) Class Warfare – Divide the people into the wealthy and the poor.  Eliminate the middle class This will cause more discontent, and it will be easier to tax the wealthy with the support of the poor

HOPE YOU’LL PASS THIS ALONG.

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We’ve talked about and looked at an awful lot today, there’s just one Impish Dragon quote I’d like you all to keep in mind …
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Keep in mind that this is always a safe place for you.  Until Word Press kicks us off for expressing our opinions, you can always write to me and we can discuss anything.  Whether I agree with you or not.  But, until we meet again, may your lives be blessed with laughter and love.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1848

  1. nightguy47 says:

    Something has gone wrong, there is no page for this mailing. You’ll probably hear this from several but just in case I’m the only one, well. I may be the only whe who doesn’t get it. Thanks for the effort anyway.

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