When you arrive at the conference room all appears back to normal from the Memorial Day Weekend Event with one exception. On stage there is no podium with Lethal standing behind it sipping his coffee and splitting his attention between the door and his pocket watch.

Instead an iLethal stands in its place under the video projection screen which has been drawn down, the blue blinking light informing you it’s camera is active. On the screen you see the above scenery, so peaceful and tranquil. Once you are all seated and the doors closed you hear Lethal’s voice:

Mornin’ ta ya all-

I see many of you are still sporting some painful looking sunburns and judging by the way some o’ you are sitting so gingerly some o’ them burns are in right interesting places! No worries, chilled tubes of Aloe Gel with Vitamin E will be made available ta ya as you leave.

Now, as to my not being there today- ‘Tis been a right while since I’ve attended ta affairs here in Leprechonia so I decided to take a couple days after the stress and strain of not only putting together the Memorial Day Issue but two issues back to back.

As soon as I’m done with my Japanese style bath soak, I’m sure my Leprechonian Sexatary err… Secretary Luscious will take me well in hand and have me hard on err hard at the piled up work here in no time.

If you find the issue a bit abbreviated, I do apologize but I flat ran out of time after niggling with a annoying computer glitch in my system that is happen too damned swiftly for me to see what is going on.  Not to worry, there will be a full length issue next week when all is back to normal.

Mean while I’ll let you folks get to work on the issue and slathering each other in Aloe Gel.

Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to call an electrician, a roofer and a carpenter. One afternoon he returned early from work and saw a plumber’s truck in the driveway.

“Lord,” he pleaded, looking skyward, “please let her be having an affair.

School district slams sixth grader with suspension over haircut

BAYTOWN, Texas – Xavier Davis had no idea his hair could cause him so much trouble.

Xavier is a sixth grader at Cedar Bayou Junior High School in Baytown.

When he walked into class last Thursday, he said he was promptly sent to the office.

“I was walking into class, and she saw my hair and said, ‘You can’t have two lines in your hair. Go to the office,'” Xavier said.

The school, he said, ordered him to fix the haircut by Monday, or be punished with in-school suspension.
“I don’t think it’s fair,” Xavier said.

“He’s had his hair cut like this for six months and now all of a sudden it’s a problem?” said his father, Matt Davis.

One day of in-school suspension was enough for Xavier.

A new school-approved single line has been created, courtesy of his mother.

“He had a space here and a space there,” Matt Davis said. “She took a Sharpie permanent marker and colored the bottom of his hair in, so in order for him to get an education, we have to treat his hair like a coloring book, I guess.”

The district dress code listed in the code of conduct says:

“Letters, symbols, and designs beyond a single straight line which draw attention to an individual shall not be permitted. The administrator/supervisor reserves the right to determine if a hairstyle is disruptive to the educational process.”

“I don’t know if having one line or two is a distraction to learning, it’s not a distraction to me,” Matt Davis said. “It’s nonsense. We send him here to get an education. We send him here to learn. It’s not about his haircut.”

And Parent reserve the right to determine if the administrator/supervisor is an idiot and requires replacing.

OK! (Crosses that off post lottery win list of things to do)

On the way to pre-school, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.
“Be still, my heart,” thought the doctor, “my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!”
Then the child spoke into the instrument, “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”

Guardian’s of the Galaxy Then & Now

When my daughter was about 6, my sister was baby sitting for the day.
My sister had a soap opera on the TV and during a love scene, my daughter expressed how gross she thought it was that a man and a woman were kissing.
My sister explained that when a man and a woman are in love, kissing is not gross. She then said, “your Mommy and Daddy kiss – they’re in love.”
My daughter’s rebuttal to that was “No they’re not – they’re married!”

James Walker: Teenagers? Let’s call them the new adults

At first, I thought it was just me being hypocritical about people who didn’t conform to my views on life.

After all, we do live in a society where everyone has the right to do their thing and under most circumstances, not be criticized or ostracized for doing so.

But once again, my role as an editor continues to badger me with a persistent question that has been nagging at me for years but one that I have found no answer to: Where are all the adults?

That is a question that judges are asking, police are asking, social workers are asking, teachers are asking, and the general public is asking.

Why are so many adults acting like they’ve “gone wild” and dismissed the responsibility and accountability of adulthood as if they’re myths of yore and have no relevance in today’s society?

A better question may be why aren’t adults acting like adults instead of angry teenagers? Why haven’t they shed that teenage angst and moved into responsible adulthood?

Many act like they don’t understand they are adults and their actions have consequences.

A look at mug shots — which used to carry the stigma of shame — that show the stunted growth of some adults as police snapshots are now a fashion portrait to be complemented with smiles and poses to be shared — and ankle monitors are the latest accessory not to be hidden under long pants but displayed as a symbol of … what?

Press releases from police and the office of the state’s attorney office flood into the Register’s newsroom with a near daily barrage of adults gone wild, displaying outlandish behavior, making childlike decisions and then breaking down in tears and begging for forgiveness with a mea culpa.

But some things that adults are doing are totally irrational, such as letting their kid, 10, drive while streaming it for the enjoyment of social media; or using an electric shock collar to punish a child, or locking children in a dog cage to discipline them, as well as starving their kids.

How does a mea culpa defend those actions?

While these things happened in Connecticut, I have stayed away from some of the stupid behavior, as well as horrific acts, adults here in Greater New Haven have committed to spare their family and loved ones— not them — further shame.

Adulthood seems to be the missing ingredient these days in a melting pot that’s in an upheaval. Many parents throw public tantrums, fight publicly at adult and children’s sporting events and many show total disregard for the law and sneer at conformity.

It’s like some people have continued to grow physically but stopped growing mentally, their maturity stuck somewhere between the petulance of adolescent and the reality of being an adult.

Fake news has gotten out that life isn’t supposed to be tough and people don’t have to tough it out or take the necessary steps to improve their lives.

I’ve written a lot about how irresponsible parents, bad behavior and lack of responsibility and accountability has left children mired in a welfare system without the parental guidance and direction they need to be successful in life.

But it is not only low-income, uneducated parents, but a broad spectrum of people who refuse to “man up” to the problems they create. The trials and tribulations a person must endure as they build a better life have been turned into myths.

Too many parents have shoved the responsibility of being an adult onto their young children’s shoulders long before they are mentally ready.

It is a phenomenon that has swept through the country, leaving millions of teenagers following in their parent’s footsteps of discontent — and other teenagers beginning to question why they act more adult than their parents.

Psychiatrists have been warning since the early 1990s about the problem of people transferring their personal problems — whether health or social — into government entities to be solved, thereby creating a dependent society — and a nation of many irresponsible adults.

It is something they had labeled extremely dangerous and we are seeing the results: People who never grow up.

Whatever the case, adulthood and the responsibility that comes with it is becoming a vanishing breed much like a species that is headed toward extinction.

And that is leaving teenagers heading into parenthood and the real world with the responsibility of being level-headed adults.

It is something many of them are ill-equipped to handle and know nothing about — because they never learned it from their parents.

James Walker is the New Haven Register’s senior editor.