Dragon Laffs #1532


Header 1532

campers

 

Guess what?

Today is Sunday!  The day AFTER the last issue was published!  I know, right!  I’m trying to get an early and reasonable start on next weeks issue…which is this weeks issue that you are reading now, but for my now, it’s next week’s…..oh nevermind!  We’re not going through THAT again!

Anyway, guess what else?

Today is National Corn Dog Day! 

“Life isn’t fair.  A fair’s a place where you eat corn dogs and ride the Ferris wheel.” – Jennifer Brown

According to Wikipedia:

National Corndog Day is a celebration concerning basketball, the corn dog (A corn dog is usually a hot dog sausage coated in a thick layer of cornmeal batter), Tater Tots, and American beer that occurs in March of every year on the first Saturday of the NCAA Men’s Division I Basketball Championship.

There’s a little more, so if you’re interested, you can go here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Corndog_Day  and read the rest.  I did find one other little bit about corndogs that I thought was interesting.  This comes from the Days Of The Year website:

History of Corn Dog Day
Corn Dogs ultimately find their heritage in the sausage makers of Germany, and by extension those who immigrated to Texas. While we can’t for a minute understand why anyone would want to move to a state so well-known for being unbearably hot, we have to be glad they did! The German Texans apparently weren’t finding their sausages well received, and it’s said that they innovated and dipped it in a delicious breading and fried it. The first record of the corn dog we have is in 1927, when a patent was submitted to the US Patent Office.

Oh, one other thing, before we get on with the laffs, take another look at today’s header and it will give you a hint as to what else to expect in today’s issue.  So, from here…

lets laugh

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Two Irish mothers, Kate and Lorna were talking about their sons.

Kate says, ‘My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn’t smoke, and he hasn’t so much as looked at a woman in over two years.’

Lorna responds, ‘Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn’t he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn’t touched a drop of liquor in all that time.’

‘My word,’ says Kate, ‘You must be so proud.’

‘I am,’ announces Lorna, ‘And when he’s paroled next month, I’m going to throw him a big party.’

This is interesting and scary…

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Well, it’s Monday.  Mrs. Dragon and I spent a long afternoon yesterday at her Father’s house celebrating St. Patrick’s Day.  Her dad is F.B.I.  (Full Blooded Irish) and St. Patrick’s Day is a very important day in their family.  But, when we get together, usually on the Sunday closest to the holiday, it’s pretty much just a social event.  No alcohol, which is a disappointment to some of us, but it is what it is.

Today is also…. drum roll please …. National Alien Abduction Day! 

Exciting, I know, right!

Wikipedia has this to say:

Extraterrestrial Abductions Day (also called Alien Abduction Day) is a new festivity observed on March 20. Its origins are unclear, though it seems it was popularized since the 2008 Alien Abduction Day festival in Toronto.[1]

The celebrations take multiple forms, from those who watch the skies expecting or wishing to be abducted by an alien life form, or watching movies about UFOs and aliens.

Wow.  Now this is one topic I have very little experience with.  I know that Lethal has a cousin who’s pretending to be a Martian.  I believe his name is Marvin.  But, I’m sure, when the time is right, he’ll happily fill us in.

I did find this poster, which comes from Toronto in 2008.
alien-abduction-poster-web

Although the event is over, there is some really “good” information on the website listed on the paper for those of you who are interested in Extraterrestrial Abduction and how the day is/was celebrated.

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dragon pics

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Some of the scenarios we run in training are pretty damn realistic.  GREAT fun!

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I’ve told you before about some of the cool stuff that I study and work with at my human job.  Found some old footage of part of that that I just had to share.  Thanks to Kim Komando for the video.

This is an air burst explosion and we watch as the fireball actually touches the earth.

Operation Teapot was a series of fourteen nuclear test explosions conducted at the Nevada Test Site in the first half of 1955. It was preceded by Operation Castle, and followed by Operation Wigwam. Wigwam was, administratively, a part of Teapot, but it is usually treated as a class of its own. The aims of the operation were to establish military tactics for ground forces on a nuclear battlefield and to improve the nuclear weapons used for strategic delivery.

They got to blow a lot of stuff up.

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I think I need to be a little more specific when I check into hotels.

Okay, this refrigerator has more cool stuff than mine does!  I want this one!

I had no idea that Frigidaire was backed by General Motors!  Isn’t that neat.

And here’s one from K2 that he says is especially for my golfing dad…

There was a man named John who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked John to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning.
John replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.
On Saturday morning, John was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right-handed and won the round.
Next Saturday rolls around, and John says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again.
He shows up right on time, golfs left-handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with John always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left- or right-handed.
The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They queried, “John, every Saturday you say you may be 10 minutes late. You never are. Then you show up, you golf either right-handed or left-handed, and always WIN. What is up with that?”
John replies, “Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left-handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right-handed.”
“Well,” one of the employees then questioned, “what happens if she is lying on her back?”
John replied, “Then I am 10 minutes late!”

 

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Well, let’s see…today is Wednesday and according to my calendar, today is International Goof Off Day!  You can imagine how today is celebrated, but according to all my indepth research, no one actually knows the origins of this holiday, but the idea is to go out and do something you wouldn’t ordinarily do on a work day.  Something unproductive.  Do not go to work, run errands, pay bills, do chores, instead, go visit a museum, go swimming, horseback riding, golfing. 

So what did I do?  Well…….

I worked until about noon and went to a friends funeral. 

So…yeah.  Let’s move on, shall we?

fantasy

f2011021207

I don’t really have any funny lines or snappy dialog for this one.  Anyone out there got anything?

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Politics

4o

4p

4q

4r

4s

4t

Yeah, I kind of agree with that last one.  Aren’t political cartoons the greatest?  So much truth wrapped up in a small package.  And you usually have to think about it just a bit to get the point.

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We’ve made it to Thursday, and today is National Chip and Dip Day.  Well, we don’t have to go to great lengths to figure out what to do today, now do we.  In fact…tomorrow is National Chocolate covered raisins day and Saturday…the day you are probably reading this, is Pecan Day.   Now, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that today, I’m supposed to go home and eat chips and dip, tomorrow is the day for Raisinets and Saturday was put together by the American Pecan Association.  Now, it just so happens that I LOVE a good Pecan Pie. And the fact of the matter is, I don’t think I’ve ever met a Pecan Pie that wasn’t a GOOD Pecan Pie.  For instance, this image:
007ea44e-e0a3-4725-8679-9421bff582dc

comes to us from Pillsbury.com.  Is there anyone out there who doubts how delicious that would taste?  No, I didn’t think so.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure it’s time to move on…

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 Well, it’s now Saturday morning at 1:33 a.m.  Yesterday, Friday, was Mrs. Dragon’s Birthday and it was a busy, busy day.  After being married for almost 22 years finding a “birthday present” has become problematic or just saying “go get yourself something that you like.” 

Because I’ve tried jewelry, clothes, etc and have just about always failed miserably.  So, this year I succeeded with a homerun.  Her day started with a 4 hour “vacation day” at the spa.  1 hour massage, facial, manicure and pedicure. 

Then it was a new iPhone (she’s been asking for a new phone since hers was dying) she didn’t want a 7, for obvious reasons, and ended up with an iPhone 6S Plus.  She was very happy with that. 

Then it was off to a very nice dinner and then home.  I wore her out.  She was sound asleep about 10 minutes after we walked in the door and I fell asleep in my easy chair a few minutes later. 

Needless to say, the final part of Dragon Laffs got delayed.  But, I’ll only be a few minutes late for posting.  So, let’s wrap this up.

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 motivate

 Motivation3

Motivational Alligators

Motivational Beavis

Motivational Cheating

Motivational Commando Wabbits

Motivational FatCops

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 Dang!  I want a neighbor I can have snow-blower-wars with!!!

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Most people don’t remember that the experiment was repeated in 1999, 2000, twice in 2001 and continues on to today. 

Cheers

impish dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1532

  1. Ginny says:

    Great issue….funny….lots of cool stuff. But damn it, at my age and being retired and no longer
    have to live by the clock or calendar…I thought for sure I lost it totally….with your opening about it being SUNDAY. Don’t toy with us OLD FARTS, Sounds like Mrs. Dragon had a delightful birthday and nice gift of new phone…..think you hit this one out of the park.

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