Dragon Laffs #1498


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Campers


As you enter the huge canopy that has been set up over the whole camp area where you normally celebrate that which is Dragon Laffs, a delicious aroma hits you square in the face.  Something luxurious, mouth-watering, mind-numbing.

You are led to your usual place where you are handed your favorite cup of coffee, the pastry of your choice and you sit there, spellbound by the intense sense of goodness and delight that is carried along with the breeze from something fantastic cooking nearby.

Impish Dragon comes out on stage with an apron and a tall white chef’s hat and is holding a pan of goodness that is setting off your taste buds.

Today, June 30th is National Lasagna Day.

Lasagna is, like pizza and a few other Italian dishes, God’s food.  When we die and go to Heaven, it is one of the few foods that will be served.  Therefore, the creation of the perfect lasagna is as much art, as it is cooking.

I am, with no undue modesty, a lasagna connoisseur; a lasagna gastronome; a lasagna gourmand; a lasagna hedonist; a …

Someone in the audience mumbles, “That Thesaurus he got for Christmas sure has come in handy.”

I’m sure if Lethal were here he’d say something about me getting a Thesaurus for Christmas or something and if Ginny or Diaman were here, they’d be signaling for me to get on with it, so let me just send your eyes to a little article that was written by my human side many years ago.  It’s called: Lasagna Bob and you can find it here: http://www.epicurean.com/articles/lasagna-bob.html and as you read, I’ll return to the kitchen and finish off your after ezine meal.

Today, everyone gets lasagna and it’s on me.  So….

Let's LaughWell, before we start laughing, let me add this part in.  You’ll probably laugh, but it’s not really funny to me.
As I write this, it is Monday morning at about 0100 hrs.  I’ve been to bed twice and I just can’t seem to get to sleep.  It’s not that I’m not tired, I am.  I did a lot of outside work today in the 107° heat index.  But now, my mind just won’t shut down.  Every little sound startles me awake…and there are a lot of sounds.
It just so happens that I have a dog who is afraid of thunder.
And guess what it’s doing outside?
Yup.
So her and I are back downstairs and I’m trying to keep myself busy.  It’s almost not even worth going to bed for the little over three hours that I have left before I have to be up at 0445 hrs for work.
Okay, now that you are done laughing at me being up babysitting a dog who’s afraid of thunder, let’s get back to the real laughter.

2100This was sent to me by Karl. who’s also known as K².  The only thing I have to say is that I believe you Karl.

It’s going to be one of those days…
The voices in my head are fighting.
My imaginary friend is running with scissors.
And at one point, one of my personalities wandered off.

2134Hey.  I’ve been there! 

Okay, so if you look in the dictionary under the word hypocryte, this guys picture will be the ohly explaination that is necessary.  Of course, he’s got to be a democrate.  I only read the headline and I knew that!

Homeowner puts up lawn signs calling for cop killings, then has audacity to do this

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Lesson unlearned.

Central Ohio ABC affiliate WSYX has a story that may you speechless. Sadly, the homeowner responsible for this atrocity is anything but speechless.

The man, who is unnamed in the article, described solely as a 65-year-old retiree, placed signs on his property in the town of Richwood. One of the signs read, “A good cop is a dead cop.” Another of the signs is shown above.

The outrageous signs were noticed by passersby and posted to social media. The following day, someone from the same community defaced the signs. The homeowner found them on the ground torn and covered with fresh tire tracks.

So what did the homeowner do? You guessed it: he called 9-1-1!

An audio of his call is embedded in the video below at around 0:55.
So, I couldn’t get the video to copy here, so you’ll have to go to the website {http://libertyunyielding.com/2016/07/24/homeowner-puts-lawn-signs-calling-cop-killings-audacity/
} and I’ll leave the rest of the article for you to read there as well.  Trust me, it’s worth checking out.
I really couldn’t believe the guy had the audacity to call the cops!  “Liberal Logic”…the biggest oxymoron of them all.

4e

The shifting winds , political divide. 

The Red and Blue controlling our lives.
 

We the people no longer the cause
 

The Government takes 
Our system so flawed. 
 
Take from the rich and give to the poor.

Our governments the pimp 
It’s people the whore.
Obama the king 
Sits on his throne
 
Rewriting the constitution as if it’s his own.

Transgender bathrooms on a bill??

Hillary Clinton so willing to kill.

Sanders promised all will be free
Brainwashing millennials with what he believes.

Then there’s Cruz, the political flea

 
Lied to the people 
With no endorsement for Our nominee.

Every day our freedom at stake 

The more we give the more they take. 
Let’s stand up
It’s time to act 
My Family’s and I 
We have Trumps back. 

-David Karbginsky.

 

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Dragon Pix

Colored Dragon

Here’s a picture of me drawn and colored by one of the kids in our summer day-care.  Yes, we are one of those kinds of employers who have things like day-care, a place for employees to relax on their breaks, thought circles, … think of all the special things you’ve seen at Google and Microsoft work centers and multiply it by ten times and that’s what it’s like working at DL&LL Enterprises.

2136

Okay, I have to do it, I can’t help it.  It is just pissing me off so much that I can’t keep quiet. And since this is my e-zine, I figure I can rant if I want to.

Let’s look at some more headlines.

AUSTRALIA SAYS THEY GAVE THE CLINTON FOUNDATION $88 MILLION…GUESS WHAT THE CLINTONS REPORTED GETTING

And the answer to that question is less than half!  For the full story, go here:  http://dailycaller.com/2016/07/27/exclusive-clinton-foundation-got-20m-from-down-under-or-88m/

The thing that pisses me off more than anything else, is that not only is she (they) being charged with this list of crimes that just keeps getting longer and longer, but the media isn’t screaming about it and there are STILL so many people in our country that are not only voting for her, working for her, and proud of her, but they actually have the philistinism to think she will be better than anyone else for our country’s president!

Oh, and this picture says it all so perfectly!
3c

Am I the only one who sees and understands this crap?  Why isn’t everyone else pissed off??!!  NOBODY is supposed to be above the law!

WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness—That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

 

The Declaration of Independence

Moving on…
For now!

2137

 

 

Okay, this is great!

I have no idea where James Corden came from, but he is really good.  I haven’t actually watched the show, it’s kind of out of my time availability zone, but the YouTube’s I’ve seen have all been outstanding.

101

Thanks to Jeannie for the last two.  This baby cracked me up to the point I spit coffee out of my mouth this morning.

Fantasy

2016071702

A lot of you have been sending me Fantasy and Dragon pix and I deeply appreciate it.  It’s been great fun.  Here’s one of our many personal secretaries throughout the complex.  No, she’s not playing dress up, that’s her usual garb.  I keep trying to tell you guys, that this is an awesome place to work.

2138

Video

I had to share this next video with you guys.  Stop motion extreme sports using one of our favorite childhood toys…

The mind boggles at how many frames, shot one by one, this video required. 

2139

Breaking News

The Richland, WA Police report finding a man’s body in the Columbia River, near the confluence of the Yakima River, at Columbia park.

The dead man’s name will not be released until his family has been notified. 

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive marijuana consumption.

He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and a ‘Hillary for President’ T-shirt. He also had a cucumber in his rectum.

The police removed the Hillary T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.

In spite of what we sometimes think, the Police do care.

Okay, so here’s another one that is outstanding!!!!

That had to be one of the most amazing sights EVER caught on camera!

2140

I can’t hold off any longer!  It’s time!  I’ve got to do it!!
Political

Okay, let’s just jump right in there…
4

And now the guy who runs/started WikiLeaks says that his next reveal will have more than enough proof to put Hillary in jail!  The only thing I can think of to add to that is for him to hurry up!

4a

She’s following in Obama’s footsteps.  He rigged the election in 2012.  It’s impossible for more than 100% of any district to vote on anything!  But when several districts had over 120% (impossible!) vote for Obama and NOBODY for McCain, yeah, that was honest.

4a1

But Hillary is so broke!  They were so poor when they left the White House when Bill was the chief thief, that they had to take some of the government property out of the White House.

4a2

Yup, it didn’t take someone long to go down that well worn path.

4a3

4a4

It is so eerie!

4b

2141

OH! OH!  I need some of that, too!

WISDOM FOR THE AGES

– If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
– I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.
– Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
– I changed my password to “incorrect” so whenever I forget it the computer will remind me with, “Your password is incorrect.”
– Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
– I’m great at multi- tasking- – I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
– If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
– Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don’t care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.
– Doesn’t expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?
– Take my advice – I’m not using it.
– My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.
– I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.
– Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they’re at home when you wish they were.
– Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
– I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it’s been doing is gathering dust.
– Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more- talented fool.
– I’ll bet you $4,567 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.
– Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
– If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
– A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
– Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
– My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver’s test- – the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.
– There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
– Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
– Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
– Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
– Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do- it- yourself type.
– I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
– The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
– I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.
– I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn’t find it.
– If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
– Money is the root of all wealth.
– No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

2142

So, since this issue seems like it’s going to be huge anyway, let’s throw in another section
Stupid

31

32

33

I want to know how the hell he got the car up at that angle in the first place!

34

You gotta wonder what there is on the side of that building that this guy has to clean off in the first place.  I’m figuring it’s the remains of the last guy who took the job of wall cleaner.

35

Yeah, that looks like the best way to get up there to fix the cable.

36

You wonder how they got the idea for the Ewok village?

37

There is no reason in the world I can come up with for this one.

Alright, so it seems as though we’re also going to have a bunch of videos too…
Video

A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills. “Mrs. Smith, do you realize  these are birth control pills ?” 

“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”

“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that that could possibly help you sleep !”

She reached out and patted the young doctor’s knee and said, “Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year-old Granddaughter drinks. and believe me it definitely helps me sleep at night.”

2142a

I need about a dozen of these signs please.

Motivational

Little Bo Peep

woof6

Little known fact 2

Little known fact

Little Red Riding Hood

LL first dui

2144

A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn’t take it so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”

Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.”

A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, “Come on kid. Make up your mind ! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!!

2145

A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.
“Mom,” said the boy, “what are all those women doing?”
“They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work,” she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money.”
The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, “Is that true Mom?”
“His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers “Yes.”
After a few minutes the kid asks, “Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?”
She said, ” Most of them become taxi drivers!”
2146

For the last 20 minutes or so, there have been rows and rows of fairies bring out pans of lasagna, toasty garlic bread, many different bottles of wine, and all the plates and silverware and other accessories that you need for a full on Italian meal.  Impish Dragon makes another appearance and you barely hear his words for the glorious aroma assaulting your nose.

And that, dear campers, is where we’re going to leave it go for this week.

I hope you all had fun, found something to laugh at, something to get pissed off over, or something that brought you some sort of emotion.  If so, then I was successful for another week.

Be well, be happy, be safe.

Now, help yourself to all the lasagna you would like.  There is plenty, more than enough and the fairies will be here until after dinner tonight if you would like to keep eating.  Enjoy!

Cheers Impish

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9 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1498

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    Sorry about your 6 extra pans of Lasagna disappearing Impish (nom…nom..nom)
    I swear I had nothing to do with it (Nom…pass the garlic bread please)
    I have it on good authority it was Garfield (nom…there anymore chanti or should I open another bottle ladies?) who’s responsible for the theft.
    Yeah Garfield (burp!) thats my story and I’m sticking to it. (Save room for the Black Forest Cheese Cake ladies.

  2. kkanalz says:

    Instead of a Thesaurus, somebody should have given you a calendar, Imp! Today is JULY 30, not June 30! Regardless of the date, like you, I too am a gourmand lover of lasagne — any time of the year, except on my birthday when I usually prefer turkey and all the fixin’s.

  3. Ginny says:

    What a pleasant surprise to be treated to BOB’S LASAGNA. It was out of this world…..besides being a handsome dragon….you are a fantastic cook. Well I agree with you….I want to rant and scream after the Democratic convention. I was gagging hearing Bill tell us how he met this
    girl…..yada, yada…Who the hell cares. I would love to smack her on the up side of her FAT head.
    Well enough of the Clintons. You did a great job on the issue….thanks for the smiles

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