Dragon Laffs #1408


donationGood Morning Campers,

Here’s the deal…I’ve been away about half of this week for work and I’ve been on 12 hour shifts the other half.  I’ve not had near the amount of time for an issue that I normally have, so this one might be a little light on personal commentary. 

Do I hear cheering and applause out there? 

Well, I guess I know where I stand!

Yup, I know EXACTLY where I stand!

Right here next to the coffee and donuts, that’s where I stand.

Anyway, as you can see from the banner up above, this will be our final donation round up.  I know you are all still segregated into two sections, well, get used to it.  Not that the back section isn’t good, on the contrary.  The back section is very good, but the front section is just…well…better.  Plush seating with the contributors having a personalized bronze plaque on their own chairs.  Free coffee and pastries.  Hugs and kisses by our two trollops … or um … darling #1’s Diaman and Ginny.  What else can you ask for?

Well, here’s our list:

Joseph C. Ginny K2 Henry C. Leah H.
Fred S. Philip S. James C. Henry S. Henry H.
Jonathon J. Danny M. Laurie F. Gail B. Lona T.
Ginny (again) Don C. Jessica C. Ray T. Kristine M.
Joseph C. (again) Susan W. Diaman Bob B. Dale A.
Donald M. Joe P. Bruce C. Vincent C. Kevin A.
Garth B. Scott H. Tom H. Margaret C. Donald G.
Dan T. Christopher B. Steven H. John R. Dale A.
James T. Paul B.

Okay, if you would like to have your own seat, with the bronze plaque and the free coffee and donuts for each issue, by all means, feel free to contribute and you too can be sat in the special section.  If you are a veteran of the Military, a Fireman, Policeman, EMT, or are disabled and unable to work, then you too can feel free to move up and sit in the special magical section.

Rest assured, that it will magically expand and contract with the allowable people.

Anyway, as a side note, if you follow along with the comments, you may remember on October 15th Ginny promised Paul B. a signed copy of her pumpkin derrière and an implied signed copy of her prize winning gourds with a donation.  Well, Ginny, as you can see, as the very last name on there, Mr. Paul B has followed through on his half of the bargain…so the rest is up to you.

You may also remember that last week I asked who knew what TANSTAAFL means and where it came from …author and book.  Kevin came up with part of the answer, that it means There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.  Then he deferred to our own Lethal Leprechaun who supplied the rest.  It was made common by the book, The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by the Grand Master of Science Fiction, Mr. Robert Anson Heinlein.

Oh, and by the way Pepsi beat out Coke in our last poll by a tiny margin 36 to 35.  There will be no poll today, but I am looking for more poll topics.  Please let me know what you’d like to see as a poll topic.

Now…

 

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A man passed out on the beach in Naples, Florida for four hours, and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to the front of his legs above his knees.
He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, ‘What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?’
The Doctor replied, ‘It won’t do anything for his condition, but it’ll keep the sheets off his legs.’

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Here’s a great video of the best FanCam I have ever seen.  This bored looking kid changes into a rock star right in front of us.  And the camera men kept the camera on him.

 

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This one is truly fantastic!  The Ohio State Marching Band doing their tribute to classic rock!  Their movements on the field are incredible!

 

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Pictures from our last company Halloween Party.

 

Diaman writes about some changes she’s made around her home for security reasons.  I guess she’s had some problems…

I’ve torn out my alarm system and ​de-registered from the Neighbourhood Watch.
I’ve got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner
and the black flag of ISIS in the center.


The local police,
CIA, NSA, FBI and the other intelligence services are all watching my house 24/7.

​I’ve never felt safer!​

But I guess she’s gotten them all taken care of now.

 

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Thanks to my Dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior, for this next video.  It’s really something.  How many of you know about the First Air Force One?  I didn’t.  Now I do.  Watch…

 

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Fantasy Pic

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This is Matilda, our payroll clerk.  Somebody has to keep the books and she does an excellent job!

 

Okay, I know there’ve already been a lot of videos in this issue, but this one….this one is the tops!  An early release of the new Avengers movie.  Due out in May!  I’m already psyched!!

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Here’s some quickies from our own Ginny…okay, not those kinds of quickies…

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan


What is a Yankee? 

The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. 
 
Why is divorce so expensive? 

Because it’s worth it. 

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
 

Doughnuts 

 
Why is air a lot like sex? 

 
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any. 

 
What do you call a smart blonde?
 

A golden retriever. 
 
What do attorneys use for birth control?
 

Their personalities. 

 
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
 
 
10 years and 45 lbs 

 
What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
 

45 minutes 
 
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
 

Through his chest with a sharp knife 
 

Why do men want to marry virgins? 

They can’t stand criticism.. 

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? 

Because those men already have boyfriends. 

 
What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
 

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you 

 
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
 

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. 
 
Why don’t bunnies make noise when they have sex?
 

Because they have cotton balls. 
 
What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
 

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. 
 
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 

 
“Are you sure it’s mine?” 


Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
 

Mace will do that to you. 
 
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
 

Everyone has the same DNA… 
 
Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
 
 
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. 

 
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
 

A different bar. 
 
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a
 blond baby? 

They named him “Sum Ting Wong” 

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? 

A speech impediment 

I LOVE THIS ONE . . . J
What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? 
 
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… “a recipe”. 

 
How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word? 

 
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! 

 
What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? 

A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time ..” – 
A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this s**t…..

 

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One day, Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years.

 
After a while, when she didn’t return, he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead! Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate.
 
Since there weren’t any lady eagles available he’d have to cross the feather barrier. So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest. The sex was good but all the dove would say is ……. ‘I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!’
 
Well this so got on Harry’s nerves so he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate.. He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest.
Again, the sex was good but all the loon would say is….. ‘I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!’
So out with the loon.
Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest. This time the sex was great, but all the duck would say was….. NO, The duck didn’t say THAT! … Don’t be SO disgusting! 

 

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God bless

God's Creatures

God's Gift

going to work

 

 

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8 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1408

  1. paul says:

    GREAT ISSUE AS ALWAYS — ok Ginny – Impish w/protect you ID — how’s those pics coming??

  2. Ginny says:

    Between you and the Lethal….I’m waiting until you both self-destruct with the schedules you both keep. So you called Diaman and Moi….”Trollops and Darlings”….well hell, we can be both. Thanks to Paul B for his donation, I would send my gourds picture that I autographed, but with WordPress….no can do. I love to participate in quickies for your Blog… Great issue, it was fun from beginning to end.

    • impishdragon says:

      Leah, That’s not a bad idea. I’ll have to check with my computer, IT guru. Let me tell you, this guy is so good, the FBI, CIA and several other acronyms are continuously trying to hire, buy, and kidnap this guy. He’s that good. So, what do you think, Mr. Lethal Leprechaun?

      Kevin, First of all, thank you for your service. Secondly, that is kind of the way our first poll went. Let me remind you that we didn’t get that many pollsters to participate, our results were 5% the spouse of a vet, 20% neither a vet nor married to one and a whopping 70% vet. I do believe that once we get our campers a little more used to answering polls, we might run that one again.

      Ginny, Yes, the Leprechaun and I work some crazy hours sometimes. This last week was crazy for me and I don’t get another day off for 3 weeks. As far as the picture for Paul, here’s the deal. You have my address, I have Paul’s address. You send the picture you promised to me and I will forward it to Paul. That way, you can keep your promise and not give out your address to someone you don’t know. And yes, you and Diaman are both wonderful trollopy darlings and you have made yourself a fantastic home here at DL&LL.

  3. kevin says:

    Heres a poll question for ya.
    How many are Vets are on the list?
    I’ll start it off it for ya, I’m one. U. S. Army
    Proud to Serve

  4. Leah Diane Hanson says:

    I was so busy sending on links to the neat videos you posted, then I got to thinking … you should make a line I could copy/paste. Something like, “compliments of Dragon Laffs” or “Stolen from”,”Borrowed from” complete with a link to your site.
    Leah D.

  5. maggie culligan says:

    an excellent posting as usual,, hope you are able to get some rest soon

  6. clyde gulley says:

    I know you have posted this before, but I don’t have the info. Who & whare do I send a money order to for a donation?

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