Good morning my fellow campers, cave dwellers and denizens of the fantasy world that surrounds us all…  Welcome to Tuesday!

Tuesday’s are a lot like getting licked in the face by the family dog…you don’t really like it and it’s probably not good for you either.

Tuesday doesn’t really have much going for it, other than there is another issue of your favorite on-line magazine (e-zine) Dragon Laffs!  (Yes Stevie, that’s where the term e-zine comes from.)

So, without further ado, let’s laugh!

 

Happy holidays…slide down a bit on the page to see the song “Infidels” sung to the tune of “Jingle Bells”

http://www.thenoseonyourface.com/conservative-satire/islamic-rage-boy-holiday-video-infidels/

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

 

I celebrated my 71st birthday by buying an all terrain 4 wheel vehicle Here’s picture of me playing with it in my backyard.

So let me see if I have this right, if any state of the United States decides to pass a law that effects that particular state, that state has to ask permission to do so from other countries outside of the United States? 

 

 

What an intriguing, James Bond, 007 type mystery that has crippled Iran’s nuclear weapons program.  Stuxnet is an incredibly advanced, undetectable computer worm that took years to construct and was designed to jump from computer to computer until it found the specific, protected control system that it aimed to destroy: Iran’s nuclear enrichment program.  An amazing story, well written by Fox News.

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/11/26/secret-agent-crippled-irans-nuclear-ambitions/

Moishe took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating.
A little while later a blind man came and sat down next to him. Feeling neighborly, Moishe passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man. The blind man handled the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, “Who wrote this shit?”

Rabbi Goldberg stood before the Recording Angel, who was scrutinising his page in the Golden Book.
“Fantastic!” exclaimed the Angel. “Rabbi Goldberg, can it be? Your record shows nothing but mitzvahs! Tell me, in your whole life, didn’t you commit one sin?”
“Mr Angel,” replied the Rabbi, “I tried to live like a G-d fearing Jew.”
“But in a whole lifetime, not one – single – sin?”
“No, I’m s-sorry.”
“Well I can’t let you into heaven, Rabbi Goldberg! You already are an angel. I am going to have to send you back to earth for 24 hours and if you want to get into heaven, you’ll appear back here with at least one sin on your record. Goodbye.”
Poor Rabbi Goldberg was scooped back to earth. He wandered about, desolate, seeking to stray from virtue, not knowing how. The hours passed and the Rabbi grew uneasy.
Only 12 hours now remained. “Oh, G-d, blessed be your name, help me. Help me to sin. Just once!”
And then a woman signalled to him from a doorway. His prayers had been answered. How swiftly Rabbi Goldberg responded. The voluptuous woman led him to her room  …. and to her bed.
Hours later, the Rabbi awoke. “What time is it?”
“Half past six.”
The Rabbi smiled. “At seven o’clock, someone is picking me up.”
He started to dress, chuckling.
But the chuckles froze when, from her bed, he heard the woman sigh, “I’m over 40 year’s old and I was a virgin – Oh, mister, what a mitzvah you performed last night!”

Here is the First America Jet, the Bell P-59 Airacomet and a video complete with Big Band music of the day, showing it’s first flight!  There is much information not known by many! The Germans may or may not have been the first to have jet aircraft, but when you watch this video you’ll see why the Americans were the best innovators in getting the job done. This is truly a “keeper!”

I certainly enjoyed it, and I think you will too!

Click Below:

http://videosift.com/video/Americas-First-Jet-Flight-October-1942 

A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixing (ready) to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, ‘Please don’t jump, think of your dear mother and father.’

He replied, ‘Mom and Dad are both dead; I’m going to jump.’
She said, ‘Well, think of your wife and children.’
He replied, ‘I’m not married and I don’t have any kids.’
She said, ‘Well, think of Robert E. Lee.’
He replied, ”Who’s Robert E. Lee?”
She replied, ”Well bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee.’

The Old Country Boy’s:

DID YA KNOW OR DO YA CARE?

Tree growers plant an average of three seedlings for each tree harvested.
The industry employs 100,000 nationwide.
Around 1833, the first artificial tree was marketed by
Sears Roebuck & Co. For 33 “limbs,” the cost was 50 cents
55 limbs cost $1.

Another victim of the economy.  It always seems to be the young who
suffer the most…………..

…this ‘poor girl’ has no shoes!

DID YA KNOW OR DO YA CARE?

Up to 92 percent of the artificial CHRISTMAS trees are created in China.
Michigan is the 3rd largest grower of real trees in the US
Help the US economy this year, buy a green tree.

10 Step Guide For The Do-It-Yourself Handyman

1. If you can’t find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it’s an improved screwdriver.
2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
3. Above all, if what you’ve done is stupid, but it works, then it isn’t stupid.
4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can…many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
5. If it’s electronic, get a new one…or consult a twelve year old.
6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning the switch or just paint over it.
7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it.
8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help.
9. If something looks level, it is level.
(And my own brand new personal motto) 10. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success

The Story of Jonah…from a fantastic public speaker:

http://www.vimeo.com/16404771 

 

How to recycle an old aircraft engine:

I just LOVE these things!

Here is the “food court” chorus !

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE )

Two gentlemen are using the facilities at Grand Central Station in New York.
One gentleman says to the other, “Are you from Borough Park?”
The other gentleman exclaims, “Yeah, how did you know that?”
The first gentleman says, “Do you belong to Temple Beth El?”
The second gentleman exclaims, “Yeah, how did you know that?”
The first gentleman says, “Is Rabbi Yablonobovitz, the mohel, still there?”
The second gentleman exclaims “Yeah, how did you know that?”
The first gentleman answers, “Because he always cuts on a slant, and you’re peeing on my shoe!”

Bad Driver Compilation Video:

bad-driver-compilation.html