Day 17 of the government shut down and I’m angry!

 

Not only have the blind turnips in Washington not opened up the government like they should have by now, but they actually voted to NOT pass a bill to pay the military! Gee, let’s not pay the men and women who are there to defend us against the bad guys with guns! Okay, maybe the rest of us can be considered non-essential (although I can make a really GOOD case that some of us ARE essential to the readiness of the forces, but that’s another topic) but you start messing with our military families and and take the concentration of our men and women off of what it needs to be on and what do YOU think the results are going to be?!?!

You people are CLUELESS! Do you have any idea at all what the current world situation is right now? Do you have any idea how tenuous the situation in the world is? Do you want the men and women with their fingers on the triggers around the world to be worried about their families at home? 

ARE YOU NUTS????

Republican, Democrat, Independent, I don’t care who you are, everyone of you work for US! You are our employees! Get your butts back to work! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?! You serve at the pleasure of us. You work for me and all the fine people who are reading this. Every single one of you should be fired.

Gonna go clear my head and then we’ll get to the laffs.

 

Rest in Peace my friend.

 

This next is absolutely hilarious…especially since I watched a good portion of the original…

 

Wow! Our trip to the Ark Encounter was OUTSTANDING! We left yesterday about 6 am. It was a 3.5 hour bus ride down there and we actually got to the Ark at about 10 after getting our tickets and such. Where we got dropped off, it was another short bus ride to the Ark, which was located on a hilltop a short ways away. I have SO MANY pictures I could share with you, that I could do an entire issue just on the Ark. I’ll just share a few here. 

This is the first one that I took as we first came upon the Ark from the welcome center:

 

Here’s one of Izzy and I where they photoshopped us into a professionally done picture of the Ark. They took our picture when we first got there and Izzy paid to have the photos sent to her phone as well as this one put in a huge frame for me. Had I known, I would have dropped my backpack and tried to smile better…maybe straightened my hat a little.  LOL!

Inside the Ark the three floors were set up the way they figure Noah had them set up … absolutely incredible place.

 

And on and on and on. Displays and museums and just a ton of stuff! Like I said, I could just keep going.

Izzy actually got to do an up-close and personal experience with Felix the sloth. She was OVER THE MOON!!!!

Okay, that’s enough of that. I have WAY more pictures, but you guys aren’t interested in my personal stuff.

While we were exploring God’s amazing stuff, people were doing silly things. Another “No Kings” day. But, from what I understand it was a huge flop. I’m hoping that now that they have it out of their system, we can get the government back open again so that I can get back to work and get back to getting a paycheck. I’m totally screwed if this goes on too much longer. So, come on people, everyone’s prayers need to be for these people to straighten this stuff out!

We now continue with your regularly scheduled Dragon Laffs…

 

Remember this picture…the highway to Heaven?

 

Jonathon writes to us and says …

Something always bothered me about this… and I finally spotted it!

Absolutely no traffic is going up the mountain – every vehicle (on both sides of the highway) is driving down the mountain!  This should be renamed, “The Fall From Grace” instead!

Granted, this is obviously an older picture.  Look at the cars!  I-80 (and any highway) really doesn’t go straight up or down like this anymore.

Great eye, my friend! I like the Fall From Grace moniker.

 

The Pentagon once did a study on why so many American Servicemen marry women in the countries where they’re stationed.
 
Contrary to popular belief, loneliness had nothing to do with it.
 
Once the men rotated back to the US, all their in-laws were thousands of miles away…

Teacher to a third grade student: “Billy, if both of your parents were born in 1967, how old are they now?”

Billy: “It depends.”

Teacher: “It depends on what?”

Billy: “It depends on whether you ask my father or my mother.”

Photos Where Time Is Clearly Up

Beautiful!

Sent to me by my favorite nurse. I had never seen this one before.

The Bible and the TV Guide

They lie on the table side by side
The Holy Bible and the TV Guide.
One is well worn and cherished with pride.
Not the Bible, but the TV Guide.
One is used daily to help folks decide.
No, Not the Bible, but the TV Guide.
As the pages are turned, what shall they see.
Oh, what does it matter, turn on the TV
So they open the book in which they confide.
No, not the Bible, but the TV Guide.
The Word of God is seldom read.
Maybe a verse before they fall into bed.
Exhausted and sleepy and tired as can be.
Not from reading the Bible, from watching TV
So then back to the table side by side,
Lie the Holy Bible and the TV Guide.
No time for prayer, no time for the Word,
The plan of Salvation is seldom heard.
But forgiveness of sin, so full and free,
Is found in the Bible, not on TV.

We don’t really have the TV Guide anymore but the thought is still the same. How many of us spend more time watching TV then we do in the Word of God? I’ve got NewsMax on in the background most of these days (Christian News organization) listening for news of the shutdown to be over with, but most of my days consist of at least a few hours in the Word between my lessons for FBI, my two jail ministries, and my every other weekly other ministry…in addition to my own study. And I’ll admit, that I’m not in it as much as I’d like…or should be.

The more we fill ourselves with other worldly things, the less we have room for spiritual things. Just my opinion I think…

Thank you dear friend, for passing that on. I enjoyed it.

 

“The Odds Were One In Ten Quadrillion”: 23 Ridiculously Unlikely Things That Actually Happened

“So you’re telling me there’s a chance.”

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colours….but they all exist very nicely in the same box.

The bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies.

 

. . Probably because they are generally the same people.

And that’s it for today my friends. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Until next time may our dear Lord Bless you with Love and Happiness until we meet again.

Well, as you can see my Halloween issue just posted all on it’s own. Just another great example of how my month has been going. 

My apologies, enjoy it anyway…if a little early and I’ll work something else out for next week.

LOL!

Cheers my friends.

Impish

I’ve been alternating orange and black for Halloween but I want to write this in blue so you know this is from my heart. 

Izzy and I were at the hospital today for a routine lab test and I had a little bit of a medical issue with her. I don’t want to go into what it was because she’s an adult now and it’s not my place to say, but suffice to say that she is fine, but it was scary. Now, I will say that even though I’m dad, and she’s my little girl, even at 23, she’s still my little girl, I didn’t freak out because I just don’t do that. It’s one of the things that made me such a good 911 dispatcher. 

But, what I did find is that I wanted to pick up my phone and call Mary, her mom, and tell her what was going on … let her know what had happened … I even reached for my phone for one quick second.

Then I remembered.

And I not only realized how hard it was for me to do this alone, but for Izzy to do this alone and I got a little angry. I’ve been struggling a little with anger and depression these last couple of weeks mostly because of the furlough and the approaching holidays and wondering if I’m gonna be able to do Christmas for Izzy and such, but this anger was a little different. I was mad because I was alone.

But I’m not alone. Because God and Jesus are walking beside me at all times. The Holy Spirit resides within me. That’s where my calm spirit comes from in times of trouble. 

When I got home and got her settled down, (she’s currently taking a nap) I opened my email and got this outstanding little essay from brother Pete. It goes like this:

So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried, “Nothing will ever be lovelier than this.”

Not even death.  

Izzy still has her mom, deep in her heart. In the things that she taught her, the examples that she set, the love that she feels and that I still show.

I learned a really big lesson today, a couple of them in fact, and I guess I just wanted to share them with you, my family. For now, I’m gonna close out this opening and move on to the real Halloween episode and hopefully put a smile on your faces…so … 

So, I guess according to this I’m ALMOST an old fart.

There’s nothing wrong with being single.

So what if 7.5 billion people don’t want to be with you.

Does this make any sense to ANYONE?!?! Why in the world, does China own ANY farmland in our country? Do we own any farmland in China?

Okay, so that’s dark!

I just replaced the air freshener can with an air horn in the church bathroom…

…now we wait!!

Me: How many loads of laundry can this hold?

Salesperson: Ma’am, this is a dining room table.

Me: And?

Welcome to adulthood…

You get mad when they rearrange the grocery store now.

I don’t understand how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the costs of living.

When a woman asks you to guess her age, it’s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.

I’m so sick and tired of my friends who can’t handle their alcohol. Last night they dropped me three times while carrying me to the car.

It’s perfectly okay to talk to yourself and it’s perfectly okay to answer yourself. But it’s totally sad that you have to repeat what you said because you weren’t listening.

I’m giving up drinking until Christmas.

Sorry, bad punctuation…

I’m giving up. Drinking until Christmas.

Okay, finishing up the last of the Halloween pics now…

I’ve just renamed my Wi-Fi network to “Police Surveillance Van #02”. That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.

And that is IT my friends.  

Wow!  What an issue!  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

So, until we meet again, may God Bless you with Love and Happiness.

So, just got back from the doctor.

No, really, I’m fine. It was a regularly scheduled appointment. My blood pressure was fine, pulse ox was fine, everything was good. Healthy as a horse. 

Now, if I can just get back to work, all will be right with the world.

That, and if we can get everyone to stop shooting each other. There have been SO MANY active shooters come across my special alerts lately that it is CRAZY! So much crazy stuff going on in our country. I normally see a bunch more than you guys see, but lately it’s been way worse.

I don’t want to dwell on bad things. I need some laughter in my life, so …

Let’s do a couple of tributes and a couple of catch up items first…

On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, “What would you do if a sailor was washed overboard?”

“I’d yell ‘Man overboard,’ ” answered the lookout snappily.

“Good,” said the officer. “Now what would you do if an officer fell overboard?” 

The lookout asked, “Which one, sir?”

List of longest prison sentences

What an interesting website. Click HERE to check this one out. I spent a lot of time here checking this one out.

I LIKE TO MAKE LISTS. I ALSO LIKE TO LEAVE THEM LAYING ONTHE KITCHEN COUNTER AND THEN GUESS WHAT S ON THE LIST WHILE AT THE STORE.

FUN GAME.

I live in a strange little town. This came over the police dispatch at 530 this morning:

William and Wayne (the street names) check the area for a 40-year-old, male, white wearing Robin Hood clothing type style, long hair, walking in the area with a sword on his back, not making threats towards anyone, laughing walking towards Wayne Street on William.

I REALLY want to know how this one works out. I’m gonna have to check with my dispatch friends to find out.

 

This one was lots of fun! Just for the record, I got 37 out of the 55. So, it’s pretty hard!

 

Photos Where Life Picked A Winner And A Loser

Ridiculous Parking Jobs That Cooked Our Noodle

15 Photos Where There Is No Evidence Of Intelligent Life

And that’s it. Still not working, still waiting for the politicians to pull their heads out. Until next time, may our dear Lord bless you with with peace and happiness until we meet again.

Day 13 of my captivity. Today, the hostages were released by Hamas. Although, at this point in time, they only came up with 4 of the 20 bodies of the dead captives. They released less than 30 and they get 2,000 in return. Now, let’s see if they disarm like they are supposed to. I’d say it’s highly doubtful.

Then, they have to go through and destroy hundreds of miles of tunnels and underground cities. More doubt on my side.

We’ll see.

I am still just a week ahead. You guys should get this on Monday, the 20th. Two days ago, on Saturday, or on my timeline, this coming Saturday, Izzy and I are supposed to go to the Ark Encounter in Williamstown, KY

Really excited about it. Although, right now, Izzy isn’t feeling well, I hope she is feeling better by the time we leave…especially since it’s a 3 1/2 hour drive there and another 3 1/2 drive back. We are leaving at 6 am and aren’t supposed to be back until 10 pm. 

So, looking forward to THAT! In the meantime, let’s move on to the fun stuff.

 

One of my favorite pictures. The attitude of the horses is perfect.

 

I did not know this! What a great history behind this!

 

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.

Watch your words, they become your actions.

Watch your actions, they become your habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

– Lao Tzu (571BC – ?)

This is such a PERFECT picture!

 

Did you hear about the angler who baited his hook with peanut butter?
All he would catch was jellyfish!

That’s me to a T!

 

Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his  education, but then asked him, “What is three times seven?”

“22,” Rick replied.

After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator and realized he wouldn’t get the job.

About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job. He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth but was still very curious.

The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, “Well, you were the closest.”

He also asked God to forgive His murders, gave salvation to the thief on the cross, and suffered for all our sins.

“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”
– Dolly Parton

My wife shot me with the nail gun today…
She must think I’m a stud!

So a HUGE statement! Let’s pray the government back open again so that so many Americans are no longer hurt by so many politicians!

 

If drinking energy drinks causes short term memory loss, just imagine what drinking energy drinks would do.

After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn the piano, but it’s not an easy instrument to pick up.

A woman on a bus asked me, “Do you have any pets?”
I said, “Yes, a goldfish”.
She said, “Any hobbies?”
I said, He likes swimming!”.

I just inherited a dairy farm, which is not what I wanted, but I’m going to milk it for everything I can get.

I said to my wife this morning, “Why do we always argue about everything?”
– she replied, “Well, if I agreed with you, then we’d both be wrong”.

Someone stole all my lamps, and you’d think I’d be upset, but actually I’m delighted.

2 people are in Hospital after eating Lasagna containing 100% Horse Meat. They are said to be in a stable condition.

 I’ve started burying cash in the bush next to my house. It’s my hedge fund. 

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I went into a shoe shop this morning and asked to see a pair of loafers. The salesperson brought down the general manager and the chief accountant.

My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. Jack and the beans talk!

Ya gotta hand it to short people.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

So I went to a really trendy nightclub last night. The doorman said to me: “Sorry mate, I can’t let you in, you’ve had too many!”
I said: “What, drinks?”
He said: “No, birthdays”.

The Silliest Inventions To Ever Receive A Patent

That sign bothers me in more than a few ways.

 

How to get rid of telemarketers

– Tell the telemarketer you are on “home incarceration” and ask if they could bring you some beer.
– Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
– Tell the telemarketer, “Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I’m not wearing any clothes.”
– Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”
– Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up…louder… louder… LOUDER…
– Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
– If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

Like what’s going on RIGHT NOW!

 

Finland has closed its border.
Now no one can cross the Finnish line.

Sigh…me either…me either.

 

Three Spies are captured in London. One is German, one is French, and the other is Italian. 

First, they interrogate the German spy and after 3 hours of torture he talks and is thrown back into the cell with the others. 

Then the French spy is interrogated, and after about 8 hours of torture they get him to talk and throw him back with the others. 

Last, they interrogate the Italian spy and after 20 hours of torture and failing to make him say a word they give up for the day and throw him back with the others.

When he is back in the cell with the other spies asked him,  “how did you last that long without saying a word”?

Then the Italian man says, “I was trying to speak but they had my hands strapped down and I wasn’t able to move them”.

And again we come to the end of another issue my friends. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. Until next time…