So we got our first snow of the season today.  It’s snowing right now. They are calling for up to 2 inches by morning. I guess that’s a good thing for us not working.

They are also doing a rare Sunday night Senate meeting (yes, it’s now Sunday night) and “test vote” to possibly open back up the government. Am I skeptical? Does a dragon burn down villages?

I have the news on muted in the background and they have a scroll up and it says FED. GOV. SHUTDOWN 39 Days, 16 Hours, 47 Minutes, 15 Seconds. 

PLEASE!

Tomorrow is the day before Veterans Day. They need to get their heads out of their butts. While we wait to hear …

They’re having WAY TOO MUCH FUN!!!

 

Okay, is this instructional?

Friggin’ Pete sent us this next one:

I’m not gonna freeze this winter, look what I picked up for only $250! I can’t wait to fire this baby up!

Fake news.  My brother’s ex-wife upon waking on a normal morning before putting on her makeup. 

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.

Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!”

“Really?” he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.

A clerk answers and Tom says, “Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?”

The clerk replies, “Canned or frozen?”

Stupid should hurt. Why is it that we stopped making stupid hurt for not only our kids, but for our fellow adults? No cash bonds are the perfect example of letting stupid not hurt.

 

Yeah, that’s what it is.

Rosie, the pretty, attractive nurse in charge of the cardiac desk, took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked.

“Doc, you got to help me,” Ro pleaded. “It has gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up in bed with them. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week.”

“I see,” nodded the psychiatrist. “And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your willpower and resolve in this matter.”

“For God’s sake, NO!” exclaimed Ro.

“I want you to fix it so I won’t feel guilty and depressed afterward.”

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl.  Right away he began flattering her outrageously.  The girl liked the young man, but she was taken aback by his fast and ardent pitch.  She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. 

“Look,” she said.  “We only met a half hour ago.  There is no way you could be so sure.  We don’t know a thing about each other.” 

“You’re wrong,” the young man declared.  “For the past 5 years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his accounts. 

New Orleans lawyer sought an Mortgage loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. 

The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the mortgage company, he received the following reply (actual letter):

“Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. 

While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. 

Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

“Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. 

I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. 

I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

For the edification of uninformed mortgage company bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. 

The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. 

The good queen, Isabella, being pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the mortgage company took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus’ expedition.

Now the Pope, as I’m sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. 

Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. 

God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the mortgage company. 

I hope you at the mortgage company find God’s original claim to be satisfactory.

Now, may we have our loan?”

The loan was approved.

Truer words have NEVER been written!

I wouldn’t know…I eat things that eat vegetables. 

 

Thanks to Joe for one of the most comprehensive lists I’ve seen:

Murphy’s Technology Laws 

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. 
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. 
Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand. 
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm. 
The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord. 
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch to be sure.

All great discoveries are made by mistake. 
Always draw your curves, then plot your reading. 
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget. 
All’s well that ends. 
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost. 
The first myth of management is that it exists. 
A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection. 
New systems generate new problems. 
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. 
We don’t know one millionth of one percent about anything. 
Any given program, when running, is obsolete. 
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. 
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make. 
The faster a computer is, the faster it will reach a crashed state. 
Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work. 
Some people manage by the book, even though they don’t know who wrote the book or even what book. 
The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most. 
After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done. 
Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.

A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works. 
If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number. 
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.

Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a “Pearl Harbour File.” 
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

If you can’t understand it, it is intuitively obvious. 
The more cordial the buyer’s secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order. 
In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totaled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday.

Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. And scratch where it itches.
All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door. 
The only perfect science is hind-sight.
Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling. 
If it’s not in the computer, it doesn’t exist. 
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. 
When all else fails, read the instructions. 
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Everything that goes up must come down.- Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner. 
Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way. 
Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it. 
The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management. 
Any attempt to print Murphy’s laws will jam the printer. 

FINALLY!  Late last night the Senate finally took the first step in opening back up the government! It’s liable to take a few days, some people are saying up to next week.  Today, as I write this, it is Monday, 10 November, the day before Veterans Day, but you should be reading this on Saturday the 15th. So, by the time you are reading this we should know when I will be back to work! 

And more IMPORTANTLY, when I will be getting paid! I’m telling you folks, I am right down to the bare bones here. I can make it another month or so if I have to … I have plans in place, I’m not a 

but those are plans that I don’t want to have to dump into, if you know what I mean.

And since we’re doing updates, remember this picture:

Many, many of you campers piped up and identified it as the Pocket Fisherman from RONCO. Ron Ropeil’s famous (infamous?) company from the 70’s.  Great job guys.  I got it wrong.

 

Aussie Pete or Friggin’ Pete? Either one, right!

Another one from Joe…

Murphy’s Laws on work 

Everything can be filed under ‘miscellaneous’.

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

No one gets sick on Wednesdays.

The longer the title, the less important the job.

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure. 

My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation… 
When she returned home she informed him that she had purchased ten new dresses… 

“Ten!” he hollered, “What could any woman want with ten new dresses??” 

My mom calmly replied, “Ten new pairs of shoes.”

Sigh…those were the days…

 

Click on this link. Some of these pictures are WILD! If clicking on the title doesn’t work, try clicking HERE.

Disasters Objectively Majestic in Their Hilarity

And that’s it my friends. I’m going to try and get a couple of these issues ahead because when I go back to work I think I’m going to be a LITTLE busy getting things caught up. May our dear Lord bless you and keep you until we meet again.

So the elections are over, the democrats got what they wanted, now let’s see how long it takes them to open back up the government…because we all agree that this is becoming stupid. Now they are saying that even though it is LAW that we are supposed to be paid for the time we have missed that we may NOT be paid. That would really hurt a lot of us. We shall see. I’m so tired of this nonsense. So VERY tired.

I gotta laff, ya’ll.  

Let’s start with these really cool inventions!

 

Not quite the see-thru toaster we were talking about last time, but still pretty cool!

 

Faith takes you through the storm so you can get to the wonderful things on the other side of the storm.

 

When someone annoys me I lend them money

and I never see them again. 

Our new car has a button for almost everything. 

Even has one that says

“Rear Wiper”. 

I’m afraid to try that one!

That ain’t right!!!!

 

50 Disturbing Real Signs That Prove The World Is Way More Terrifying Than You Thought

Danger: Risk of impalement.

Joe sent us this good news!

I FINALLY DID IT! BOUGHT A NEW PAIR OF SHOES WITH MEMORY FOAM INSOLES. NO MORE FORGETTING
WHY I WALKED INTO THE KITCHEN.

Congratulations, Joe!

Please, Lord. Soon!

 

Read more HERE

That one always makes me cry.

 

Yeah…we’re stuck on a theme.  This is what happens when your memes get filed arranged alphabetically by accident.

A mouse looked through a crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife opening a package. 

What food might it contain? He was aghast to discover that it was a mouse trap.  

Retreating to the farmyard the mouse proclaimed the warning: “There is a mouse trap in the house, a mouse trap in the house! ” 

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, “Excuse me, Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it.” 

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, “There is a mouse trap in the house, a mouse trap in the house!”  

I am so very sorry Mr. Mouse,” sympathized the pig, “but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured that you are in my prayers.” 

The mouse turned to the cow. She said, “Like wow, Mr. Mouse. A mouse trap. Like I am in grave danger. Duh…NOT!”  

So the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer’s mouse trap alone. 

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house, like the sound of a mouse trap catching its prey. 

The farmer’s wife rushed to see what was caught.  

In the darkness, she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.  

The snake bit the farmer’s wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital. She returned home with a fever. 

Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup’s main ingredient. 

His wife’s sickness continued so that friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock.  

To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.  

The farmer’s wife did not get well and a few days later she passed away.  

So many people came for her funeral, that the farmer had the cow slaughtered, to provide meat for all of them to eat.  

So the next time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it does not concern you, remember that when there is a mouse trap in the house, the whole farmyard is at risk. 

What a wonderful story.

Rearranged the folder so we won’t get all Aussie memes…cause there’s a lot.  LOL!

 

Mr. See owned a saw. 
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. 
Now See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw 
Before Soar saw See, 
Which made Soar sore. 
Had Soar seen See’s saw 
Before See sawed Soar’s seesaw, 
See’s saw would not have sawed 
Soar’s seesaw. 
So See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw. 
But it was sad to see Soar so sore 
Just because See’s saw sawed 
Soar’s seesaw! 

Okay, it got reset when I came back and I’m not going to worry about it.

 

I almost got thrown out of my sister-in-law’s house one year at the holidays. 

I told them that I was thinking of opening a restaurant (I did this with a straight face, so they thought I was serious). 

Her and her family at the time were vegetarians, but I said I was going to open a restaurant that specialized in venison dishes. 

I was going to call it, “The Buck Stops Here,” and my slogan was going to be, “Bambi: You’ve seen the movie. Now, eat the star!”

And that’s it for another one my friends. May God Bless you and keep you and smile His face upon you.

Today is Veterans Day. A day specially set aside to honor our military members who have volunteered to put their lives between the evil in this world and all the rest. About 1% of the American population serves in the military to protect the other 99%, many of which have lost their lives in doing so. Although we have a different holiday to celebrate them, that’s Memorial Day.

Veterans Day is a day to celebrate the men and women who are serving or who have served in uniform. We owe them a great debt. The way we treat our Veterans is shameful. A quick search shows that in 2024 over 32,000 vets were homeless (and they called that a historic low!)

These proud men and women deserve so much more. It breaks my heart. I could go on for hours, ranting about how poorly the military has been treated over the years. Even as I’m writing this, they are working without benefit of pay. You don’t ever want them (us) until you need them; and then you expect them to dance to your tune.

Okay, this is a celebration of the Veteran, not a rant, so I’m going to move on. My apologies. I’m so very proud to be counted as a member of this wonderful group of men and women.

When I do the math, asking how many people have been here since 1776, it comes out to about 8% of the population who have served since 1776…if that number can be trusted. Which goes along with what I read once.

It makes sense. There are more people serving through war then in peace. Currently, 1%.

NOBODY joins the military to get rich
You do it for very special reasons, most having to do with a higher goal of country before self (even when your country is not taking care of you)
You definitely don’t do it for the money.

 

LOL! I still have my blood type tag on my key chain, and on my backpack and made Izzy get herself typed and now she carries a tag on her key chain. 

Old habits …

 

I would LOVE to hear the story behind that letter!

And that’s it my friends. I don’t know what else I can say. The last meme kind of says it all. To all my brothers and sisters who served …

I’m proud to be counted among your number. May you have a peaceful and comforting day and may Our Dear God in Heaven Bless you all with love and happiness until we meet again.

As I’m writing this, it is election day in New York, New Jersey, and Virginia. I’m sure by the time you’re reading this we’ll know the fallout from those elections.  My head hurts just thinking about it.

I just got a notification that Dick Cheney is dead at 84. May he rest in peace.

Tucker Carlson: “I’m not antisemitic, just anti-Israel” along with the headline GROWING CONCERN OVER ANTISEMITISM ON THE RIGHT.

I HAVE GOT to stop watching the news. Even the Christian news. What I REALLY need is to go back to work! 

And now I’m just rambling. So,

Something I’ll never do again … well, the list is LONG but trying to think of something I can share here, that is covered under the 5th amendment, and that the statute of limitations has run out on …

… I got nuthin’!

 

And the end of another (what I hope is) great issue. May God Bless you and keep you until we meet again, my dear, dear friends.

So, I’m a bit peeved. I’ve started this on Sunday, Day 33, and this is due to publish on Saturday, Day 39, which makes it both the second longest (as of today’s starting) and the longest (as of publication, if it’s still going on and I can’t see any end in sight) and 

You notice from the header that I made a trip to DC and they all hid from me! The wimps! I looked everywhere for the politicians that are responsible and couldn’t find them! Here’s some more pics of me in Washington:

 

I’m disgusted with them all! Everyone of them needs to be fired!

DISGUSTED!

We’ll come back to this. I gotta do something to change my mood!

 

A guy in the bar sold me a rare, antique map of the Sahara Desert for $20 last night…

This morning when I sobered up, I realized that it was a sheet of sandpaper.

I went to school for magicians but failed the final exam.

They were all trick questions.

 

I’ve always preferred the British spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you have lost control of your vowels.

Arrived late to the weekly kleptomaniacs anonymous meeting and all the seats were already taken.

 

 

Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hangout with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with?

ASKING FOR A FRIEND

 

Accordion to scientific studies, 90% of people do not realize I replaced the beginning of the sentence with an instrument.

They have my symphony.

 

So very true! God gave me life to love Him and bring others to Him. He will continue to give me life as long as He has work for me to do, then He will bring me home to heaven where He will have more work for me to do…of a sort. I can’t think of a more beautiful existence then the one that I have now and the one that I am going to. 

 

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

I’m confused, how come:
22 is twenty-two,
33 is thirty-three,
and 11 is not onety-one?

 

Morris and Rachel are sweethearts. Morris lives in a small village out in the country and Rachel lives in town. 

One day, they go to see the Rabbi and set a date for their wedding. Before they leave, the Rabbi asks them whether they want a contemporary or traditional service. 

After a short discussion, they opt for the contemporary service.

Their day arrives but the weather is rotten and a storm forces Morris to take an alternate route to the synagogue. 

The village streets are flooded, so he rolls up his trouser legs to keep his trousers dry.

When at last he reaches the shul, his best man immediately rushes him up the aisle and up to the chuppa. 

As the ceremony starts, the Rabbi whispers to Morris, “Pull down your trousers.”

“Rabbi, I’ve changed my mind,” says Morris, “I think I prefer the traditional service.”

And that is it my friends!

 

I hope you all enjoyed this one as much as I did. Until we meet again. I’m hoping that by the time you read this the government is back open again and this is all just a huge laugh!

… but somehow I don’t think so.

And even if the government is still closed, I will be at work today because it is the UTA and I’ll have to teach class because my reservists aren’t coming in. So, go figure.

So, until we meet again, May the Good Lord Bless you with Love and Happiness, Strength and Comfort.