Good Monday morning everyone!

For me, it’s Thursday, so … you know … time travel.

I am tired. I’m hoping to get some good rest this weekend. Still recovering from being sick, even though I didn’t get REAL sick, just enough to tire me out. But the extra work of the world situation and being on base and the additional stuff that goes along with all that, that you can imagine and that I can’t talk about.

I’m finding it hard to throw myself into stuff like I used to and retirement is looking better and better. It’s getting close my friends.

Well, enough about that. Let’s get to the reason that you’re all here.

Although it would be a great way to get in the car when you’re done playing in the park!

Didn’t the Russian submarine Captain call that a crazy Ivan in Hunt for Red October?

I understand perfectly.  I think it’s pretty cool.

Um…I must still be really young then since I still have a plethora of stupid things left to do.

Yup, sure do!

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, ‘Hey old man, have you ever danced?’

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, ‘No, I never did dance, — and just never wanted to.’ A crowd had gathered quickly and the gunslinger grinned and said, ‘Well, you old fool, you’re gonna’ dance now,’ and started shooting at the old man’s feet.

The old prospector in order to not get a toe blown off or his boots perforated was soon hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet and everybody was laughing fit to be tied. When the last bullet had been fired the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers back. The loud, audible double clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The quiet was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. He found it hard to swallow.. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man’s hands.

The old man said, ‘Son, did you ever kiss a mule’s ass?’

The boy bully swallowed hard and said, ‘No. But I’ve always wanted to.’

There are two lessons for us all here:

1. Don’t waste ammunition.

2. Don’t mess with old people!

MY BODY IS NOT A TEMPLE. 

IT IS AT BEST A DECAYING OLD CABIN IN THE WOODS WITH A
HORRIFYING PAST.

I was terrified of ghosts when I was little, so my mom told me I can vacuum them up and had me clean the house telling me I was getting rid of them.

If you meet a girl that admits she’s wrong, apologizes, and changes her ways, dump her because that might be a man. Women don’t do that.

I’ve been debating with myself on putting this in or leaving it out and how I should respond to it. There was a very similar scene in West Wing (one of my favorite TV shows) and that annoyed me as well. 

It’s Friday night and I have the time and the inclination and for those of you who aren’t interested, I suppose you can just skip this part, but here it goes and I’ll try to not let my ire show through.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. 
Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. 

Okay, this is not the only place that homosexuality is shown to be a sin and to use Leviticus as an example is really a pretty poor choice.  “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.”  (Gen 2:24) which shows that God designed it so that it was supposed to be one man with one woman.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative: 


Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. ….. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them. 

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 

With the sacrifice of our Lord on the cross, no other sacrifices are necessary or required. He is the ultimate and final sacrifice.

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?  

Hiring your daughter out as a maidservant is not selling her into slavery.

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness – Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. 

You would know if she were your wife, who is the only one you were allowed to have sexual relations with.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?  Why can’t I own Canadians? 

You’re an idiot

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? 

The Sabbath restrictions do not extend into New Testament times.

6. Eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10. Is it a lesser abomination than homosexuality? I don’t agree. Can you settle this? 

In Acts we learn that there are no longer restrictions on food … in fact, Christ tells us that He came to satisfy the Law, ALL of the Law.

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? 

Are you a Levitical Priest in Old Testament times?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 

See answer 6

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 

See answer 6

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16.   Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) 

See answer 4

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging. 

If you truly KNEW God’s Word you would know that it was true and unchanging and would see the history and the truth for what it is. Christ gave us 2 great commandments and told us that all the laws and the prophets were covered under these two.

Can anyone tell me what those two great commandments are?

Let’s read together out of Matthew 22:

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all  thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38This is the first and great commandment. 39And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

In other words, EVERYTHING that has come before can be satisfied with those two commandments. 

But Jesus stepped it up a step when He was wrapping it up with His disciples, didn’t he?  At the end of the Last Supper He told his disciples in John 13:34: A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have love you, that yea also love one another. Not that you just love our neighbor as yourself, but as Jesus has loved you. That’s a step up again, now isn’t it.

So, Dr. Laura and sarcastic writer of letter, I think you both need to reexamine your scripture a little closer…in my, very humble opinion.

Country people talk to bugs before killing them like:

“You done flew up in the wrong house today buddy!”

That’s it my friends. Until next time…