So, I’m tired of being sick. I haven’t been sick that long and it’s already old. I had to go to work today, Friday, and I have to work this weekend and it’s even more miserable because I have to do it sick.

Life is so unfair.

Do I sound like a liberal whiner now?

So, that’s the one voice inside of my head. Wah! Wah! Wah!

And the one I’m listening to?

Suck it up, buttercup. You’ll live, you got stuff to do. Grab your hankie and get to work. Yeah, that’s what I did…and what I’ll do tomorrow and Sunday.

But, for you guys, I got this …

Poor Jonah.

I need to start this in Indiana!!

From one of our favorite readers:

saw this on facebook and  yes, I am stunned that he is as smart, well spoken and common sensical as he now appears. Totally unexpected

You HAVE to watch this one! Sent in by the same reader. This is fantastic! I cheered, I laughed, I cried. It is great. 

Today I bought an old used car that was made in Prague.

The Czech engine light keeps coming on.

When a restaurant asks, “how spicy?” I want a scale that’s realistic.

Not – “Mild / Medium / Hot”

More like:

“Clear Sinuses”

“Question Life Choices”

“This is Going to Hurt on the Way Out”

I struggle with Roman numerals until I get to 159.

Then it just CLIX.

The “Powers” of coffee were discovered by goats

According to legend, Ethiopian shepherds were the first to notice the caffeinating effects of coffee. They were herding their goats in the area where the coffee plants grew and noticed their goats started “dancing” after eating coffee berries.

This one cracked me up!  Imagine trying a new drink with waxed tadpole in the name!

She looks like she’s trying so hard! Isn’t there some chivalrous man out there somewhere who could give this poor girl a hand? 

Not that kind of hand, you unmitigated bastards!

I have no words.

Yes…every single solitary one of them.

AND BE FIRED! They are supposed to be good stewards of OUR money.

Handcuffing deaf people takes away their freedom of speech.

I switched all the labels on my wife’s spice rack.

I’m not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.

Yup, we have one of those.

Do you want to play a great joke on your friends?
-Freeze Mentos in ice cubes
-Serve Coke “Timebombs” to your friends
-Best done outside!

I can always tell when they use fake dinosaurs in movies.

And again we must close out for the day. So, until next time, be well, be happy, be loved and …