So, some snoopy reporter snapped the above picture while I was on a clandestine mission. He was all happy and trying to get a story out of me, asking all kinds of silly reporter type questions, like didn’t I think it was wrong for us to subjugate the poor people of Greenland and make them slaves to the American people and … so I ate him.

But I kept his camera.

But my buddy, DT and I actually got some stuff accomplished and I’m sure you’ll hear about it soon enough.

So, in the mean time … 

Please endite them.

Okay, this next one is absolutely terrible … so I just have to include it! Thanks, Chris! LOL!

As of today, three arrests have been made with charges that can lead up to ten years in prison.  Let’s see if they follow through.

“Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.” 
– Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

“Doc – I think I’m losing it ” he says. “I’m forever dreaming I wrote The Lord of the Rings”. 

“Hmmm. One moment”, replies the doctor, consulting his medical records. 

” Ah yes, now I see, …. you’ve been Tolkien in your sleep.”

So very true.

This one always gets to me.

Because it’s so very, very true.

So…how many of you have been buried under the snow? I’m writing this on Friday in Indiana, no snow right now, but it’s lunch time and the temperature is 4°F and it feels like -14°F. There is a warning out for exploding trees. Yes, you read that right. Depending on which weather service you look at/listen to we are going to get somewhere between 1 inch and 3 feet of snow this weekend. They are all over the place with their predictions. 

“Doctor, am I going to die?”

“Don’t worry; that’s the last thing you’re going to do.” 

And that’s the best spouse will do!

LOVE that one!

New Bulletin Bloopers


Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.

If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection basket. 

Nov.11: An evening of bowling at Lincoln Country Club.

Karen’s beautiful solo: “It is Well With My Solo.”

Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17. 

If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly. 

We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector. 

Hymn: “I Love Thee My Ford.”

Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer. 

Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight. 

Helpers are needed!
Please sign up on the information sheep.

The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary’s Cathedral. 

The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church boared. 


As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing. 

Fifth Sinday in Lent.

Lent is a period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.

Thank you, dead friends.

Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits.

For the word of God is quick and powerful, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit. 

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men.

Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas.

The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working.

Volunteers are needed to spit up food.

Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess

We pray that our people will jumble themselves.

Morris attends a lecture on the subject of: “Hunger or Sex, which instinct is the stronger?”

The lecturer describes to the audience of a series of tests he had conducted to find a scientific answer. 
 
“For my tests,” he says, “I used one healthy male and one healthy female chimpanzee. 

Before each test, I kept them apart so they could not see or hear each other. 

I also starved the male of both food and sex for a week. 
 
For my 1st test, I put a bowl of food in the middle of my lab and then placed the male in one corner and the female in the opposite corner. 

The male looked at the female, then looked at the food, then rushed to the bowl of food and devoured it. 

So, ladies and gentlemen, it looked like hunger prevailed over the sexual instincts of the male. 
 
But as a true scientist, I did a 2nd test to see whether the earth’s magnetic field had influenced the outcome. 

Again I kept the apes separate, starved the male and put the bowl of food in the middle of the lab. 

Then I put the male in the Southwest corner and the female facing him in the Northeast corner. 

The male immediately looked at the female, then at the food, then rushed to the bowl of food and devoured it.

So once again the male preferred food to sex. 
 
But I wanted to be absolutely sure of the results so I carried out a 3rd test, this time placing the male much closer to the female than to the food. 

The result was the same. The male looked at the female, then at the food, then rushed to the bowl of food and devoured it. 
 
So, ladies and gentlemen, I can say with some confidence that hunger is a much stronger drive than sexual instincts in the male animal.  

Thank you.”
 
After the applause has died down, Morris stands up and  says aloud, “I have a question for you, mister lecturer. Have you tried doing the experiments with a different female ape?”

Why the look of surprise?

YES!!! That’s FAITH!!!

For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn.

He hired a guide, and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin.

“Hooray!” shouted the guide. “Here comes man’s best friend!” 

“Yeah,” said the Irishman. “An’ look at the size of the dog that’s bringin’ it!”

“I see you bought a new car. What’s the make?” 

“A Perndle.”

“I’ve never heard of a Perndle before.”

Me neither, but that’s what it says, right over the steering wheel: 

P-R-N-D-L.”

And that’s it for another exciting episode of Dragon Laffs my dear friends. Stay warm, stay safe and …