I just got this one from Aussie Pete and I like it a lot, so …

 

Looks like a female version of me.

Today is Christmas. The day we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Born to die. To die in suffering for each and every one of us, so that we would not have to.

I’ve had so many people ask me, “Why would a loving God send us to hell?” 

God doesn’t send us to hell. We have sent ourselves to hell. We are destined, from birth, to go to hell. That is the path we are on thanks to our great, great, great X whatever, mutual grandparents Adam and Eve, who started us on the path of sin.

We were born sinful, we remain sinful our whole lives. Our sin MUST be paid for with blood and sacrifice. Either our own or someone else’s.  Only the pure and sinless can go to Heaven. To be made pure, our sins must be forgiven, must be wiped clean.  Only someone sinless, someone pure, who is willing to take our punishment, who is willing to take the pain and the suffering we deserve can make it so that we don’t HAVE to go to hell.

God isn’t sending us to hell, He is giving us the opportunity to not have to go to hell. He’s giving us the opportunity to go to Heaven, to go to paradise instead. All we have to do is truly repent of our sins, accept the sacrifice that Jesus has already made for us, and do our very best to follow Jesus the rest or our lives, being the best person we know how to be.

Are we going to sin again?

Every single, solitary day. At least that’s the way it’s worked out for me.

So, what do you do?

Rinse and repeat.

This is the birth that we are celebrating today.  Let’s not forget that, in our celebrations. And now that I have tears in my eyes,…

At a girl’s college hostel, dates were permitted only on Saturday nights.

One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm that it was imperative he see a certain young lady immediately.

“I want to surprise her. You see, I’m her brother.”

“Oh, she’ll be surprised all right,” said the woman. “But think of how surprised I am! I’m her mother!”

 

 

You can’t give away a used mattress but somehow we’ll pay three hundred bucks a night to sleep on one at a hotel.

 

 

1860 South Carolina General Assembly votes 169-0 to secede from the United States, declaring itself an “independent commonwealth” and is quickly followed by other Southern states, triggering the American Civil War.

I bought a little bag of air today…

The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well. 

 

Signs of the times:

My wife just opened a jar of pickles by herself and I can’t help but wonder if my days around here are numbered…

Then there are those of us who are preparing for our third Christmas without our wife, our best friend, our other half and it’s no easier now than it was the first two times. Be kind to us. Be gentle with us. It’s hard as hell. It’s agony to put a smile on your face for your daughter and son and grandkids, for your friends, for your church family. Watching others laughing and playing and having a wonderful time, when inside … inside you want to be … well … anywhere else.

Maybe I shouldn’t have put that in here, but you are my family, and by writing it out, it helps me. So, as I bleed these words out onto this screen, understand that I’m entrusting to you a sacred gift: part of my heart. This is a horribly difficult time of the year for me.  I won’t go into the details. Mary went in the hospital the first time on the day after Christmas, returned on the 6th of January and passed on the 8th of January, 2022.  I achingly miss her every single solitary day. I know I will see her again and I fervently pray that Jesus returns soon to take us all home.

Now, back to the show.

 

 

When I told my doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

I’m bored…
I think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, and sit in my car with the reverse lights on.

 

 

Exchange of text messages:

Husband:  You are negative!! 

Wife:  and you are stubborn, arrogant, a low life, care about no one but yourself and your friends, all you are interested in is your own self, all your life not fulfilled even one of your promises. It is only I who is putting up with such a miser and insensitive man. You good for nothing, fat, ugly man. Even your hair transplant failed. 

Husband:  I was just informing you that your Covid test is negative… 

Wife:  Oh……sorry!

 

 

One of my favorite pictures of all time!

 

 

 

I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me and talking back right now.

 

 

Brain at 3 am:

I can see you’re trying to sleep, so I would like to offer you a selection of every memory, unresolved issue, or things you should have said or done today as well as in the past 40 years.

 

 

For the past 20 years I’ve received a Valentines card from the same secret admirer. So I was pretty upset when I didn’t get one this year. First, my granny dies and now this.

My wife is blaming me for ruining her Birthday.

That’s ridiculous, I didn’t even know it was her Birthday.

 

 

How about some last minute submissions…

 

 

Let me just close out this Christmas by saying … 

 

 

Thank you for all the wonderful submissions (I couldn’t do this without them), for all the support, but mostly, for the kind and uplifting words that receive from you guys in the comments and by email.  That’s what makes this all worthwhile for me. To know that my efforts and my words are touching someone, making someone smile, or think, or get uplifted in some way … then it’s all worth it.

From my family to yours, may the joy and blessings of this Christmas season, the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ be with you all today and throughout the coming year. I send this with the overwhelming love of my heart.

Impish Dragon (Bob)