So, it’s now December, Christmas season. And I’m going to start putting Christmas stuff in these issues. I will probably still have too much.  What a terrible problem to have.  

Today is Thanksgiving and Izzy and I are watching Avatar and Avatar 2 (I forget the name of the second one) and we will be having our traditional Thanksgiving dinner of schnitzel and rice. (It’s a long story, one I don’t really want to go  into right now because I’m having a really tough day right now)

So, what do you say, we just jump right into the fun stuff, shall we?

 

It IS fun!

 

 

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.

Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her  children, “Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that’s your pa.”

 

 

A hillbilly was on trial for making moonshine whiskey.

A young neighbour of his was being grilled by the prosecutor.

“Did you ever get any whiskey from him?” asked the prosecutor.

“No, sir!”, said the neighbor.

“Did you ever get any from his wife?”‘ he asked.

“No, sir,” said the neighbor.

“Did you ever get any from his daughter?” asked the prosecutor.

The young neighbor thought a minute and said “Your Honor, are we STILL talking about whiskey?”

I heard that you should always look into a mirror before making a big decision.

It helps you reflect.

Three kings that came from a fire.

Why does my wife always wait until I’m at the opposite end of the house before asking me to”Merm frner mernferr brnerfer!”?

 

 

Left over from Thanksgiving, funniest turkey videos…

I remember making candy cane shanks.

Parents today: Text me when you get there, text me the names of the kids who are there, text me when you’re coming home.

Parents in the 80’s: Bye

 

I am 100% positive that this is Aussie Pete’s response to my shopping cart rant. The odd part MAY be that he may have sent this before my rant appeared in print.

 

 

I have so many questions.

 

 

“How to Remove Leaves From Your Lawn”

By Ray King

 

 

9 out of 10 zoo dentists refuse to work on grizzly bears unless they have been given a strong anesthetic.

There’s safety in numb bears.

 

 

I REALLY want to go there!

 

 

You know those orange cones they set up on the highways for you to knock down?
Well, I just beat my high score!

 

 

Girlfriend: How am I gonna tell my dad I’m pregnant?
Me: Leave that to me.
[Later at dinner]
Her Dad: [Coughs] I need water.
Me: Oh no! Grandpa needs water!

And that’s it my friends. My love to you all.