Not that the header is implying anything, but…

Let’s move on.

Today is Sunday, I’ve been back to work for one day and I got an email on my civilian side that said, basically, that I will be receiving or have already received, back pay for the time that was missed. So I went to my bank (even though I’ve BEEN checking my bank) and checked to see if there was a payment pending, which normally happens two days prior to a government payment, AND …

Nothing …

So, I went to the government website where I get my pay statements that normally happens three days prior to payday, AND …

Nothing …

So, you can see as how my skepticism is rather high and perhaps not completely out of bounds. 

Now, some mitigating factors could be: 
     – It is Sunday and maybe something will be there tomorrow.
     – My last name is at the butt end of the alphabet and the government does tend to do things in alphabetical order.
     – I got nothin’ else.

So, I guess we’ll see tomorrow. In the meantime… 

Yes we are! And the biggest disappointment is the fact that most of the people are ignoring it. Which makes them officially as smart as pro-wrestling fans! Think about that for just a moment and let that scare you as much as it scares me.

 

That was one of the funniest conversations I’ve EVER read!

 

Morris went to his lawyer Birnbaum and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn’t want to pay up. What should I do?”

“Do you have any proof?” asked the lawyer. 

“Nope,” Morris replied. 

“Okay, then write him a nasty letter asking him for the $1,000 he owes you,” said the lawyer Birnbaum.

“But it’s only $500,” Morris insisted. 

“Precisely. That’s what he will reply and we will then have the proof we need to nail him.”

Please tell me that everyone got that one!!

 

I was in a customer’s home one afternoon and while I was talking to the customer, their 4 year old little girl whose name was Michelle, tugged on my pants leg and excitedly exclaimed, “I got a new bicycle, do you want to see it?” 

I said, “Sure Michelle.” So off to the backyard we went. Upon getting into the backyard, I saw a brand new girl’s bicycle. 

“Boy, Michelle! That’s a beautiful bicycle.” I complimented. “Can you ride it?” 

“Yeah, I can ride it,” she said, then with a sad face she pouted, “but it’s broke.” 

I looked at the new bicycle and couldn’t see anything wrong with it, so I asked her, 

“What’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, “but every time I ride it, it falls over!”

The first five Florists I called from the phone book knew nothing about carpet or tile. And suddenly, I’m the idiot.

 

My wife asked me why I spoke so softly in the house. I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed.
I laughed.
Alexa laughed.
Siri laughed.

Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that’s why I think of jogging EVERY DAY.

Perfect!

 

I like to help people find things by pointing out that it’s gotta be around here somewhere.

 

Today, I realized that the word “bed” actually looks like a bed.

Why did we name it Parmesan cheese and not spaghetti confetti?!?!

It’s like we don’t even try anymore.

And that’s it.  Until next time…and by next time, I’m sure you’ll know whether I got paid or not. So…until then …