Yeah, that’s the mood I’m in. Today is the day after Veterans Day. 12 Nov. Day 43 of the shutdown. Just waiting for the vote in the House now. 

All I can say is, they better do the right thing.

Cause I’m sick of sitting here doing nothing.

I’m even more sick of not getting paid.

Hopefully, by the time you guys are reading this we’ve all been back to work, the pay has been straightened out and everything is back to how it’s supposed to be.

Until the end of the year…cause that’s all the deal is they are working out for now. Because they are … 

For those of you who are new around here, that’s a Blind Turnip. And if they do this again at the beginning of the year, I’m gonna have a lot more colorful names.

So for now, let’s move on

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch!

They’ve done it! We went back to work on Friday! Why Friday and then had the weekend off, I don’t know, but WE ARE BACK AT WORK AGAIN! After the longest shut down in history.

Now, they’ve promised us our back pay which should hit sometime between today (Monday) and Wednesday. And then our regular paycheck on Friday. There is a skeptical side of me that says, “Yeah, we’ll see.” As I’m writing this on Saturday, (yes, I’ve missed several days of keeping up on my issues, as I’ll get to in a moment) I still have no indication of anything heading to my bank, which I would have if I was going to see a paycheck on Monday or even Tuesday. So…you see my skepticism.  

As to why I’ve fallen behind … well, not really fallen behind, but fallen not so far ahead … I had my first test in FBI (Faith Bible Institute) this week and have been studying and preparing a study guide for the other members of class. I’ve also prepared a study guide for the second test which is next week. The first test was on Acts, which I should have aced since I am not only studying it in FBI but also at the jail, but in which I got a disappointing 88%. Yes, a solid B+, but not what I had hoped for.

Next week is The Life of Christ or New Testament that I finished the study guide for this morning and it should be an easier test. 

Now that I’ve said that, I’ve probably set myself up for a huge miss! LOL!

Anyway, the BIG news is that we’re back at work…at least until the end of January when I’m betting we start this government shut down all over again, but we all better be much more prepared for that one. The other news is that we should be getting our back pay. You know, in all honesty, if they knew they were going to give us our back pay, why weren’t we all at work anyway! Just another example of our country being run by:

I agree whole hea… ugh! [thump!]

 

Because it’s actually an invasion?

 

(and for those of you who are new, that symbol means that what follows is an oldie but a goodie … an old E butt a good E) (Okay, I’m done explaining this stuff … if you have questions, ask your fellow camper) (Yes, I know he’s probably drunk)

A young woman was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking. Her friend asked her,”Why did you cut off the end of the ham”?

And she replied ,”I really don’t know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to.”

Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied,”I really don’t know, but that’s the way my mom always did it.”

A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked, “Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?”

Her grandmother replied ,”Well dear, it would never fit into my baking pan until I cut the end off. 

Well, gee Impish, tell us how you really feel about it…

 

Hmmm, where’ve I heard that before?

Love that picture!

 

MY PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING!

I don’t do windows because … 
I love birds and don’t want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. 

I don’t wax floors because … 
I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I’ll feel terrible and 
they may sue me.

I don’t mind the dust bunnies because … 
They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say. 

I don’t disturb cobwebs because … 
I want every creature to have a home of their own.

I don’t Spring Clean because … 
I love all the seasons and don’t want the others to get jealous.

I don’t pull weeds in the garden because … 
I don’t want to get in God’s way, he is an excellent designer.

I don’t put things away because … 
My husband will never be able to find them again.

I don’t do gourmet meals when I entertain because … 
I don’t want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner. 

I don’t iron because … 
I choose to believe them when they say “Permanent Press”. 

I don’t stress much on anything because … 
“A Type” personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol’ woman!!!!  

Would it not stand to make sense that the reason Republicans think that guns are for protecting their family, for hunting, and for protecting themselves from a tyrannical government is because that’s what they use them for? Liberals, on the other hand, think guns are meant for murdering, because that’s what they use them for?

Jack was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client.

“Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury,” concluded the lawyer, “you’ve looked carefully at the defendant.

Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had a quart of whiskey he would sell it?”

He was acquitted.

Indiana?

The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father’s details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms.


1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 36 Cherry Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son’s conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A’s dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

Over the weekend I happened to catch a glimpse of some Dog of the Show as I flipped through the channels. The dog on the screen at the time was a white English sheepdog. 

It was simply a mound of fur with four legs.

The judge was brushing back the dog’s hair so she could look at the animal’s eyes. 

The TV announcer was explaining that each dog has to have its eyes checked to make sure they’re the right shape, color, etc., etc. 

Another announcer chimed in with, “Well, plus the judge has to see if the dog HAS both of its eyes. ‘Cuz if you start combing through hair and you only see ONE eye . . . you’re looking at the wrong end of the dog.”

`

Some people are extremely impressed when you tell them you’re a Navy SEAL. 

Case in point: My grandson’s Kindergarten class on Career Day. I regaled them with stories of my exploits in the military. After I finished, hands shot up into the air all over the classroom. The kids were eager to ask questions. 

One little girl asked, “Can you balance a ball on the end of your nose?”

This does not surprise me a single bit!

Breaking: The NY Times is sounding the alarm about the Obama Presidential Center disaster! 

Okay, so that made me want to cry.

 

And so many of us are pretty mad about it!!!

 

A guy was bragging to his co-worker during their lunch break about how unbelievably hot his wife was.

He leaned back in his chair with a smug grin and said, “Man, my wife is gorgeous. Everywhere we go, heads turn. She’s got that perfect smile, flawless skin, and this walk that just stops traffic. I swear, every guy in the room gets jealous when she walks in.”

His co-worker nodded politely, trying to get a bite of his sandwich in while the guy kept going on and on.

“Honestly,” the braggart continued, “I don’t know how I got so lucky. I mean, she’s easily a ten out of ten. You should see her when she dresses up. People think I’m some kind of celebrity or something!”

Finally, the co-worker put down his coffee, smiled, and said, “Oh, yeah? I saw your wife the other day picking you up from work. If you think your wife is hot, you should see my wife.”

The guy raised an eyebrow, a little threatened. “Oh yeah? What, she’s even hotter?”

The co-worker took a slow sip of his coffee, then calmly replied, “No, she’s an optometrist.”

And the truth hurts, don’t it!

And that’s it my dear friends. I hope to have another one knocked out this weekend since next week at work is going to be … let’s say exciting.