So, I’m a bit peeved. I’ve started this on Sunday, Day 33, and this is due to publish on Saturday, Day 39, which makes it both the second longest (as of today’s starting) and the longest (as of publication, if it’s still going on and I can’t see any end in sight) and 

You notice from the header that I made a trip to DC and they all hid from me! The wimps! I looked everywhere for the politicians that are responsible and couldn’t find them! Here’s some more pics of me in Washington:

 

I’m disgusted with them all! Everyone of them needs to be fired!

DISGUSTED!

We’ll come back to this. I gotta do something to change my mood!

 

A guy in the bar sold me a rare, antique map of the Sahara Desert for $20 last night…

This morning when I sobered up, I realized that it was a sheet of sandpaper.

I went to school for magicians but failed the final exam.

They were all trick questions.

 

I’ve always preferred the British spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you have lost control of your vowels.

Arrived late to the weekly kleptomaniacs anonymous meeting and all the seats were already taken.

 

 

Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hangout with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with?

ASKING FOR A FRIEND

 

Accordion to scientific studies, 90% of people do not realize I replaced the beginning of the sentence with an instrument.

They have my symphony.

 

So very true! God gave me life to love Him and bring others to Him. He will continue to give me life as long as He has work for me to do, then He will bring me home to heaven where He will have more work for me to do…of a sort. I can’t think of a more beautiful existence then the one that I have now and the one that I am going to. 

 

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

I’m confused, how come:
22 is twenty-two,
33 is thirty-three,
and 11 is not onety-one?

 

Morris and Rachel are sweethearts. Morris lives in a small village out in the country and Rachel lives in town. 

One day, they go to see the Rabbi and set a date for their wedding. Before they leave, the Rabbi asks them whether they want a contemporary or traditional service. 

After a short discussion, they opt for the contemporary service.

Their day arrives but the weather is rotten and a storm forces Morris to take an alternate route to the synagogue. 

The village streets are flooded, so he rolls up his trouser legs to keep his trousers dry.

When at last he reaches the shul, his best man immediately rushes him up the aisle and up to the chuppa. 

As the ceremony starts, the Rabbi whispers to Morris, “Pull down your trousers.”

“Rabbi, I’ve changed my mind,” says Morris, “I think I prefer the traditional service.”

And that is it my friends!

 

I hope you all enjoyed this one as much as I did. Until we meet again. I’m hoping that by the time you read this the government is back open again and this is all just a huge laugh!

… but somehow I don’t think so.

And even if the government is still closed, I will be at work today because it is the UTA and I’ll have to teach class because my reservists aren’t coming in. So, go figure.

So, until we meet again, May the Good Lord Bless you with Love and Happiness, Strength and Comfort.