It’s Sunday afternoon. Had a good church service. Jumped in the car and went to town to drop off all the stuff that Izzy and I gathered to Goodwill, came home and did all the normal Sunday chores, gathered and took out the trash since our trash day is Monday and set up my weekly medicine. Had a bite to eat and now it’s 4 pm and I’m starting Thursday’s issue.
It is an absolutely gorgeous day out and I really feel like going for a ride, but something is holding me back and I don’t know what.
And rather than sitting here agonizing over it … like I have been for the last fifteen minutes, I’m going to press on with DL and see where I end up, so Let’s GO!
When Ruth’s grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. One day he was running through the house and into the corner of a chair and hurt his eye. He cried for a while and kept saying, “Oh no, oh no, now I can’t be a doctor when I grow up.”
Ruth assured him he could still be a doctor and Jordan kept telling her he couldn’t. Finally, she asked, “Why can’t you be a doctor?”
Holding one hand over his eye, Jordan said, “Because now I will have to be a pirate!”
FAMOUS ATHEISTS’ LAST WORDS BEFORE DEATH
1. CAESAR BORGIA—Italian nobleman, politician, and cardinal: “While I lived, I provided for everything but death; now I must die, and am unprepared to die.”
2. THOMAS HOBBS—Political philosopher: “I say again, if I had the whole world at my disposal, I would give it to live one day. I am about to take a leap into the dark.”
3. THOMAS PAYNE—The leading atheistic writer in American colonies: “Stay with me, for God’s sake; I cannot bear to be left alone , O Lord, help me! O God, what have I done to suffer so much? What will become of me hereafter? I would give worlds if I had them, that The Age of Reason had never been published. 0 Lord, help me! Christ, help me! No, don’t leave; stay with me! Send even a child to stay with me; for I am on the edge of hell here alone. If ever the Devil had an agent, I have been that one.”
4. SIR THOMAS SCOTT—Chancellor of England: “Until this moment I thought there was neither a God nor a hell. Now I know and feel that there are both, and I am doomed to perdition by the just judgment of the Almighty.”
5. VOLTAIRE—famous anti-christian atheist: “I have swallowed nothing but smoke. I have intoxicated myself with the incense that turned my head. I am abandoned by God and man.” He said to his physician, Dr. Fochin: “I will give you half of what I am worth if you will give me six months of life.” When he was told this was not possible, he said “Then I shall die and go to hell!” His nurse said: “For all the money in Europe I wouldn’t want to see another unbeliever die! All night long he cried for forgiveness.”
6. ROBERT INGERSOLL—American writer and orator during the Golden Age of Free Thought: “O God, if there be a God, save my soul, if I have a soul!” Some say it was said this way: “Oh God, if there be a God, save my soul, if I have a soul, from hell, if there be a hell!
7. DAVID HUME—Atheist philosopher famous for his philosophy of empiricism and skepticism of religion: He cried out loud on his deathbed “I am in flames!” It is said his desperation was a horrible scene.
8. NAPOLEON BONAPARTE—French emperor who, like Adolf Hitler, brought death to millions to satisfy his greedy, power-mad, selfish ambitions for world conquest: “I die before my time, and my body will be given back to the earth. Such is the fate of him who has been called the great Napoleon. What an abyss between my deep misery and the eternal kingdom of Christ!”
9. SIR FRANCIS NEWPORT—Head of an English Atheist club, to those gathered around his deathbed: “You need not tell me there is no God, for I know there is one, and that I am in his presence! You need not tell me there is no hell. I feel myself already slipping. Wretches, cease your idle talk about there being hope for me! I know I am lost forever! Oh, that fire! Oh, the insufferable pangs of hell! Oh, that I could lie for a thousand years upon the fire that is never quenched, to purchase the favor of God and be united to Him again. But it is a fruitless wish. Millions and millions of years will bring me no nearer the end of my torments than one poor hour. Oh, eternity, eternity forever and forever! Oh, the insufferable pangs of Hell!”
10. CHARLES IX—The French king. Urged on by his mother, he gave the order for the massacre of the French Huguenots, in which 15,000 souls were slaughtered in Paris alone and 100,000 in other sections of France, for no other reason than that they loved Christ. The guilty king suffered miserably for years after that event. He finally died, bathed in blood bursting from his veins. To his physicians, he said in his last hours: “Asleep or awake, I see the mangled forms of the Huguenots passing before me. They drop with blood. They point at their open wounds. Oh! That I had spared at least the little infants at the bosom! What blood! I know not where I am. How will all this end? What shall I do? I am lost forever! I know it. Oh, I have done wrong.”
11. DAVID STRAUSS—Leading representative of German rationalism, after spending a lifetime erasing belief in God from the minds of others: “My philosophy leaves me utterly forlorn! I feel like one caught in the merciless jaws of an automatic machine, not knowing at what time one of its great hammers may crush me!”
12. JOSEF STALIN—Soviet Georgian revolutionary and politician. In a Newsweek interview with Svetlana Stalin, the daughter of Josef Stalin, she told of her father’s death: “My father died a difficult and terrible death. . .God grants an easy death only to the just. At what seemed the very last moment, he suddenly opened his eyes and cast a glance over everyone in the room. It was a terrible glance, insane or perhaps angry. His left hand was raised, as though he were pointing to something above and bringing down a curse on us all. The gesture was full of menace. . .the next moment he was dead.”
13. ANTON LEVEY—Author of the Satanic Bible and high priest of the religion dedicated to the worship of Satan. One of his famous quotes was: “There is a beast in man that needs to be exercised, not exorcised”. His dying words were: “Oh my, oh my, what have I done, there is something very wrong. . . there is something very wrong.”
14. GANDHI—At his death, he said, “For the first time in 50 years, I find myself in the slough of despond. All about me is darkness. . .I am praying for light.”
BELOVED, compare these last words from atheists, with these last words, from these saints of God:
THE APOSTLE PAUL: “O death, where is thy sting?”
KING DAVID: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no Evil.”
AUGUSTUS MONTAGUE TOPLADY (1710-1778): Toplady will ever be famous as the author of one of the most evangelical hymns of the eighteenth century, “Rock of Ages,” which was first published in 1776.
During the final illness, Toplady was greatly supported by the consolations of the gospel: “The consolations of God, to so unworthy a wretch, are so abundant that he leaves me nothing to pray for but their continuance.”
Near his last, awaking from a sleep, he said: “Oh, what delights! Who can fathom the joy of the third heaven? The sky is clear, there is no cloud; come Lord Jesus, come quickly!” He died saying: “No mortal man can live after the glories which God has manifested to my soul.”
Lastly, JESUS CHRIST said: “I am the resurrection and the life. He that believeth on Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.”
Only fools never learn from history, and it’s amazing that even in our days, with all these facts on our fingertips, someone with a mind can devote his entire life to a delusion, and want everyone to know that there is no God. No wonder the bible says, “Only fools say in their hearts, there is no God.” (Psalm 14:1)
I could not possibly, have said it any better myself.
An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at Shannon Airport.
“I’ve come to meet my brother,” said the Irishman. “He’s due to fly in from America in an hour’s time. It’s his first trip home in forty years”.
“Will you be able to recognize him?” asked the American.
“I’m sure I won’t,” said the Irishman, “after all, he’s been away for a long time”.
“I wonder if he’ll recognize you?” said the American.
“Of course he will,” said the Irishman. “Sure, an’ I haven’t been away at all”.
Yeah, and? That’s about what I had this morning. I remember a pancake being there, also.
At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax.
One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained.
When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, “So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?”
“Well, I suppose,” she replied, “I’m still cooking it.”
The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn’t keep Joe from boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance.
“Three times,” gasped Manny admiringly. “How’d you do it?”
“It was easy.” Joe looked down modestly. “I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten- minute nap.
When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I’ll tell you.”
“I gotta try it,” said Manny. So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep.
He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him.
“What’s up, Boss?” he asked. “I’ve been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren’t going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?”
“What twenty minutes?” growled the boss. “Where the hell were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?
Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world!”
Caddy: “I don’t think so, sir, that would be too much of a coincidence!”
The definition of a “gimme” in golf can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers…
Neither of whom can putt very well.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Philosophy is wondering if a Bloody Mary counts as a smoothie.
A whole bunch of pictures caught right at the RIGHT moment!
Every Sunday afternoon a mother found a candy bar wrapper in her young son’s room. She finally had to ask, “Johnny why do I find a candy bar wrapper in your room every Sunday after church?”
He answered by saying that God gave him the money and he used it to buy a candy bar.
The mother quickly replied, “God gave it to you? How did this happen?”
“Well mom, you give me a dollar to give to God. So before church every Sunday , I throw it up into the air. I figure if God wants it he’ll take it. If not, it will fall back down to me.”
“Can I buy a live shark here?”
“Lady, what do you want with a live shark?”
“A neighbor’s cat has been eating my goldfish, and I want to teach him a lesson.”
And that’s it my friends. I hope you enjoyed. May God Bless you and keep you until we meet again.
Dragon Laffs 
Thank you, the funnies were good, but I sure needed the focusing words of wisdom, surrounded as I am at this time by so many deaths and disarray.