Yup, it’s one of those days.

For me, Saturday.

For you, Monday.

Gotta love time traveling.

Started the day with Men’s Breakfast at the church. Great message. Great conversation afterward, went longer than it normally does. Then I took Izzy to breakfast, brunch for her late birthday celebration. We had a nice time. Then we immediately came home and I put her to work.

We deep cleaned the bathroom. DEEP cleaned the bathroom. Then swept and mopped the kitchen and dining room floors and vacuumed the rest of the house.

Then we moved into my room where we got into all the old shelves and stuff where a lot of stuff had been stored since before Mary’s passing. There is a HUGE box to go to Goodwill, a big bag of trash, a lot more room in my room, a a few tears expelled on both of our parts.

After the wonderful ride in the country I had yesterday, there was NO ride today because it’s raining and thundering out. Now, I’m brave, but I’m not THAT brave. So, I’m caught up on my homework…more or less, so it’s time to spend the next couple of hours with you guys, so without further ado…

YES!!! I’ve been saying that forever!!!

This would be a good place to break for a mail call… Let’s start with Night Guy:

Recently you asked about the price of eggs, this week they were $2.41/dozen at the local Aldi store. Down nearly $2 a dozen. Also that “Idiots in service” thing reminded me when I had ATT DSL and no phone. The wire broke, outside in the wind, I went next door to use the phone, the guy said he’d send a guy out but the service guy would have to call me first. No phone? Didn’t matter, the service man would have to call or not come. I couldn’t get him to understand I didn’t have a phone. My neighbor finally said he’d take the call for me, but he wasn’t going to be home, so the ATT guy took his number, the service guy called him, neighbor told him to get to my house and hurry because I was, uh, upset. He came, fixed the line and it worked until I left ATT. But the call guy couldn’t understand that with no phone I couldn’t be called.

I think it’s the whole engineer mentality. Even when their not full-fledged engineers, it’s like it’s still there. “What do you mean it works fine? Then it doesn’t have enough options!”

Leah has an interesting take on the new bike:

I am immensely happy for you!

Now maybe your son will let you ride with him!

Or maybe a woman is going to make moves on you.

Yup, that there can change your life around, get your numbers lined up.

Ummm … hmm, let me ride with him. I’m going to MAKE him ride with me. No, I’m kidding. Actually, the whole idea of the trike originally was for a way to spend more time with him and my grandson who has decided to ride…or maybe not now … we’re not really sure at this point. And the woman making moves on me … let’s not go there Leah. Going to dinner or a movie, maybe, riding on the back of a motorcycle that is relearning a new experience for me. I really don’t think so.

We’ll do some more of these in a bit. It’s been a while since I’ve gone through the mail with you guys. I normally respond to the comments, in the comments section, but I don’t know if you guys ever get notified, see my replies or what all.  

One more mail item from my favorite nurse

name the bike Crocket….get it???? Crotch rocket….and like Davey always on an adventure or new discovery….

I do kinda like Crocket…and the play on words…but shouldn’t it be a female name? Aren’t all pieces of machinery female? And no, it doesn’t have anything to do with “riding” it. There were lots of jokes about machinery being female because of breaking down and being uncooperative, but seriously, for guys anyway, I think they name their cars and bikes and such women’s names so that they don’t feel bad babying them and spending time taking care of them. I wonder ….

Ladies – do you name your cars and motorcycles and such guys names? 

Why do I have the feeling that the response I’m going to get is, “No, we don’t name them ANYTHING because we’re not infantile like guys are!” Just guessing here. Anyway, back to Crocket … hmm … how about Cricket? Just spitballing here…

Cindy
Cricket
What else people?

A man is in court. The Judges says,”on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?”
 
“Guilty”, said the man in the dock.
 
At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted “You dirty rat!” The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise.
 
The Judge continued “….. and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead”?
 
“Guilty”, said the man in the dock.
 
Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, “You dirty rotten stinking rat”!!
 
At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, “I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?”
 
He replied “He is my next door neighbour”.
 
The Judge replied, “I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from any comments”.
 
The man replied “NO, your Honor, you don’t understand. Twice I have asked if I could borrow a hammer, and BOTH TIMES he said he didn’t have one”!!!

The man was boasting about his sister, who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army.

“But wait a minute,” a listener interrupted. “She will have to dress with the boys and shower with the boys, won’t she?”

“Sure,” the man admitted.

“Well, won’t they find out?”

The man shrugged elaborately, “Who’ll tell?”

I know, right. We stood in formation at the flag pole the other day for the 911 ceremony and the commander asked how many people weren’t even alive when it happened and a couple of younger airman actually raised their hands. I was astounded.

The Washington Post recently had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had it “in the old days.” Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below.

Second Runner-Up:

In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.

First Runner-Up:

In my day, we didn’t have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you’d weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we’d use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn’t adjust our skates, which didn’t really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today.

And the winner:

In my day, we didn’t have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.

Honorable Mentions:

In my day, we didn’t have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes.

In my day, we didn’t have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

In my day, we didn’t get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying ‘Doors closing.’ We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.

In my day, we didn’t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.

Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.

Back in my day, ’60 Minutes’ wasn’t just a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 60-year-old guys.

In my day, we didn’t have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.

Back in my day, they hadn’t invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight.

Too true! I never understood why you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway.

I was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, I had to stretch, but still couldn’t grab the box.
 
Fortunately, I have two six-foot-tall sons whom I often call to come to my rescue.
 
“Hey, Brian!” I yelled to my second son, who was in the living room. “Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?”
 
“Sure, Mom,” he remarked as he bounded into the kitchen. “But next time, I’d prefer the title ‘Your Highness’ when you need me.”

Absolutely, positively, one hundred percent TRUTH!

A man went to his doctor and said, “Help me, doctor. I think my eyesight is getting worse.”

The doctor asked the man to look out the window. “Tell me what you see,” he said, pointing.

“I see the sun,” the man replied.

The doctor turned to him and asked, “Just how much farther do you want to see?”

Yeah ……….. I may have passed mine.

Jack: How’s it going?
Beans: Pretty good.
Jack and the Beans talk.

As I’ve said a thousand times now…

If drinking alcohol can cause short term memory…
Just think what drinking alcohol can do!

Okay, I saw the above picture, immediately took the below picture from my own living room. Make of it what you will.

Immutable Laws       (Which Cannot Be Avoided)
 
1,  When one wishes to unlock a door but has only has one hand free, the keys are in the opposite  pocket.
( Von Fumbles Law)
 
2.  A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside.
(Yale Law Of Destiny)
 
3.  When ones hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch.
( Law Of Ichiban)
 
4.  Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened.
(Insurance So Sorry Law)
 
5.  When things seem to be going well, you’ve probably forgotten to do something.
(Cheny’s Second Corollary)
 
6.  When things seem easy to do, it’s because you haven’t followed all the instructions.
 (Destiny Awaits Law )
 
 7. If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it’s probably because you have not  realized the seriousness of the problem
(Law Of Gravitas)
 
 8. Most problems are not created nor solved, they only change appearances.
  (Einstein’s Law Of Persistence)
 
 9.  You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you.
(Principle Of Dingaling)
 
 10. Whenever one wants to connect with the internet, the call you’ve been waiting for all day will arrive.
(Principle of BT)
 
 11. If there are only two programs on tv that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time.
(Law Of Wasteland)
 
 12. The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it is exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi.
(Law Of Pi Eyed)
 
 13. The probability that one will spill food on one’s clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean.
(Law Of Campbell Scoop)
 
14. Each and every body submerged in a bathtub will cause the phone to ring.
   (Law Of Oh my Gad)
 
 15. Each and  every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring.
(Law Of O golly Gee!)
 
16. Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one’s hairdo.
( The Donking Principle)
 
17. After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week later.
(Law Of Fatal Irreversibility)
 
18. Arriving early for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent, and if one arrives late, everyone else has arrived before you.
(Law Of De Lay)
 
 19. Do not take life too seriously, because in the end, you won’t come out alive anyway.”
(Theory Of Absolute Certainty)

That’s it my friends. I hope you had as much fun with this as I did. May your Monday be filled with nothing but love and May our Father in Heaven bless you with Strength and Comfort throughout the rest of your week until we meet again.