Okay, here’s the scoop. It’s Sunday night, I have NO time, I worked all weekend, I’m worn out, I didn’t get to play with my new toy today and I’m mad … not at you guys, at me. I played too much yesterday and let all my chores go until today so now I’m playing catch up and … 

and …

well, I’ll do the best I can putting this issue out.

Oh…

My new toy …

How about this….

2025 CF Moto. Okay, so I have to tell the story. So, you guys know I have the trike. And it’s fun and all, so last weekend … I think I may have told you, but I’m going to tell you again … I called the Whelpling, because on the 27th and 28th I take my safety course to get my full motorcycle endorsement. 

Right now I’m just on a permit. Well, for the course I’m going to have to be on two wheels. Guys, I haven’t been on two wheels in 40 years. So, I call the Whelpling who lives an hour and half from me and tell him I’m coming down and he’s going to put me in a parking lot and I’m going to be on two wheels. He tells me in no uncertain terms that I’m not riding Charlette.  That’s his Harley. But I can ride the grandson’s bike.

I told him that’s fine, I just need some practice so I don’t look like an idiot when I go to the safety course. Well, he rides it over to the parking lot and I climb on, I have a little trouble throwing my arthritic hip over the seat, but I manage.  I’m a little concerned taking off from a dead stop and the balance and all that sort of stuff…

I take off and those 40 years completely disappear.

It’s like I’d never been off. I drove all over that big old parking lot, doing tight little U-turns and stopping and starting and weaving and having a great old time. I wanted to take it out on the street but he said I couldn’t cause it wasn’t registered yet.

So, Thursday I went out and bought this one brand new off the showroom floor for a song cause the 2026s are coming in and they are getting rid of the 2025s for cheap. I rode to his house through downtown (big down town, not like my little dinky down town) and then he rode it to my house the hour and a half north. And I had it Thursday, Friday and Saturday and didn’t get a chance to ride today and I’m just loving it!

I’m going to run it through town tomorrow since I have meetings in town. I borrowed money from my TSP … like my 401K … figured it’s better to pay myself back.  It’s gonna be tight for two years, but I’m worth it, darn it!!!! I really thought long and hard about it and thought, why not? I haven’t done anything just for me … well … in a LONG time.

The only thing I couldn’t get the guy to throw in was the luggage storage and there’s only one option since the bike is so new and I’m gonna have to save for that. That’s about $350. I really need it for my ministerial stuff, but I’ll backpack it for now. It’ll work out.

And if you can’t tell by my enthusiastic writing, I’m really happy. LOL!

If I can get the trike sold that will go a long way to helping out. Pray for that one for me.

Anyway, I  think it’s time to get back to you guys, so …

Aussie Pete sent me a bunch of these so I’m gonna make a special run of these all in a row!

A preacher challenged his wife and criticized her actions after finding a dress costing $250 in her bag. He said, “You know we are on an incredibly tight budget. 

The wife admitted that she was wrong but explained she was tempted by the devil who followed her to the shopping mall. 

The man rested a hand on the woman’s shoulders and spoke softly, asking her to constantly resist the devil with the command, “Get behind me, Satan!” 

The preacher’s wife response was: “I did, and he said ‘The dress even looks good from back here.'”

Nope, we’re not done with the cat yet.

A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client, who had attended the trial, was out of town when the jury came back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and his client.  The lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading, “Justice has triumphed!”  The client wired back, “Appeal at once!”

Told my wife I was going to start smoking pot.
She said if I did, she was going to leave me.
That’s proof that it gets rid of aches and pains!

I said to my wife: “When I die, I’d like to die having sex.”
She replied: “At least it’ll be quick.”

Now we’re going to do a set of these…also from the Great Aussie Pete:

A ditzy girl was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick.  “Here, this is how you do it,” he said, as he easily skewered the olive.

“Big deal,” she muttered. “I already had him so tired out, he couldn’t get away.”

Most people will say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
An engineer will say, “If it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.”

I work with engineers every day (I’m in the Civil Engineering Squadron, don’t ask me why) and I can tell you with absolute honesty that this is 100% truth!

The flight attendant on the trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. As the young man stepped forward, she playfully offered some to him.  He passed, pointing to the Airborne wings on his Army uniform. He explained, “The last time someone gave me wings, I had to jump out of the airplane.”

I Just Spit Out My Sandwich Cackling At These Complete Strangers Who Came Out Of Nowhere With The Funniest Possible Reply To A Random Comment

There’s a new book out called, ARE YOU NORMAL?
 
According to the book, 76% of guys would rather watch an important football game than have sex.
 
The other 24% said that’s what half time is for.

My friend’s ideal measurements for a man are . . .
80 – 20 – 103
 

80 years old
20 million in the bank
103 fever

And that’s it. I also think that’s probably the fastest full issue I’ve EVER put together. I know there wasn’t a lot of “me” in there this time, but I hope you got to laugh. Until next time…