Happy Labor Day!

So, what is Labor Day? Well, if you go to the Dept. of Labor’s website, they have this to say:

Observed the first Monday in September, Labor Day is an annual celebration of the social and economic achievements of American workers. The holiday is rooted in the late nineteenth century, when labor activists pushed for a federal holiday to recognize the many contributions workers have made to America’s strength, prosperity, and well-being.

And it goes downhill from there. I think it started out well enough, but nowadays it’s just a holiday to celebrate the end of summer.

Yeah, like that. I don’t include anymore from the Dept of Labor’s website because all they talk about is how the holiday was enacted and what states did it first, second, etc. But here are some pictures from the site:

That’s it. I’ll intersperse some cartoons throughout the issue as I normally do, but honestly, I don’t have much else, so without further ado…

True hospitality is making your guests feel like they ARE at home…… all the while you really wish they WERE at home!

It was a really hot day at the office due to a malfunction with the air conditioning system. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on. All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelled. One man, popping his head out of his cubicle, said, “Oh, man! Someone’s deodorant isn’t working.”  A man in the  corner replied, “It can’t be me. I’m not wearing any.”

I LOVE IT!!!!

What do you call a cow that flies?
High steaks.
But if it sinks, it’s just ground beef.

What’s the difference between Hanukkah and a dragon?
One lasts for eight nights, the other sometimes ate knights.

Our dear Stephanie sent this one to me because she says she’s from this neck of the woods and says that her Mayor ought to sue for defamation of Hattiesburg!

My aunt is a church official who organizes parishioners’ personal information.
Her job title is Nun of Your Business.

I’m looking to sell my DeLorean…
Good shape, low mileage…
Only driven from time to time!

A woman went on a tour of the White House. As the guide led her down one of the historic halls, a door burst open and a large aquatic sea mammal, balancing a beach ball on its nose, scurried past. 

“My, what was that?” exclaimed the woman. 

“Oh, that’s just the Presidential Seal,” replied the guide.

If this next one is true, it’s absolutely hilarious!!! 

My aunt’s neighbor in New York had a beautiful black cat, named Felix, who spent his days outside and came indoors at night. 

One cool October evening, he disappeared. The neighbor searched for him in vain for several days.

The following spring, however, Felix reappeared, looking healthy and clean. She figured he’s been out sowing his wild oats.

Everything was back to normal until that autumn, when Felix disappeared again.

The next spring, he returned. Perplexed, my aunt’s friend began asking neighbors for clues.

Finally, she rang the bell of an older couple who lived down the street. “A black cat?” the woman said. “Oh, yes! My husband and I hated to see him out in the cold, so we bought a cat carrier. We take him to Florida with us every winter.”

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

“I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful!” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The guy was your doctor….”

A lawyer, sitting next to blonde on a long flight, was pestering her to play a game. ‘I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me, and vice-versa.’

The blonde politely declined and tried to get some sleep. The lawyer made another offer: ‘Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, but if I don’t know the answer,  I will pay you $1000’

The blonde agreed. The lawyer asked the first question. ‘What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?’

The blonde silently reached into her purse, pulled out a five-dollar bill, and handed it to the lawyer.

Then she asked the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’ And went back to sleep.

The lawyer did research on his iPhone, called his buddies etc., all to no avail. After over an hour, he gave up. He woke the blonde up and handed her $1000 and asked ‘Well, so what is the answer?’

Again, without a word, the blonde reached into her purse, handed the lawyer $5, and went back to sleep.

And that’s it my friends.  I hope you enjoyed this issue and May God Bless you and keep you until we meet again.