I’m pretty much running right on time here. Today is Saturday and this issue should be for Monday. I’ll work on this one today and maybe get started on the next one this weekend.

Thought I was going to get to sleep in this morning. Didn’t have to take Izzy to work. Oh, she was working today and you’re thinking like I would be that, “YAY! She drove herself to work!” 

Nope! Her girlfriend drove her to work so they could go to Walmart together after work.

I know she’s trying and she drives herself on short little hops here and there. I think she is just afraid of the highway. She’ll get over it eventually. I keep pushing her (just a tiny bit) here and there and she’ll get used to it. The thing is, she’s a really good driver.

Anyway, thought I was going to get to sleep in this morning, but remembered that I had Men’s Breakfast this morning, then there will be church tomorrow morning. I get a little lie in … and extra hour maybe, if I want it, but with Izzy working and banging around and the dogs up and moving around, it’s hard to keep that relaxing sleep. So I might as well just get up.

So, nothing else interesting going on at this point. Donations still haven’t changed since Saturday’s issue…at least as of this moment.

I’d like to see a little bit more added to the total before the end of the month. We are just about there for paying the bills, no where near the totals we’ve had in the past, but that’s okay. Things are tough for a lot of us right now. Maybe by the time I’m done with this issue there’ll be an update. In the meantime, …

Now THAT is my kind of waiter!

 

I’m with the cat on this one.

 

I really HAVE to go to this place!

“I’ve created a new computer that is almost human.”
“You mean that it can think, feel and reason just like a human would?”
“No, but when it makes a mistake, it blames it on another computer.”

A Navy officer was cutting through the crew’s quarters of his ship one day and happened upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on the small table in front of him. 

“Sailor! Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?” the officer demanded. 

“No, sir, but we don’t land airplanes on the roof either.”

It’s simple. Because Martha was not a politician. It’s not like Pelosi is the only one doing it.

You’re in a casino, playing Blackjack (21), and the dealer shows a ten/face card.

What medication do you hope the dealer is taking?  An ace inhibitor!

Why doesn’t that surprise me?

 

I can only imagine in some places this “meal kit” sold out rather quickly.

 

Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago. 

“The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.,” a ticket agent said, “and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m.” 

“Would you repeat that, please?” Bob asked. 

The agent did so and then inquired, “Do you want a reservation?” 

“No,” said Bob, “But I think I’ll hang around and watch that thing take off.”

You’d think that … ahhh, never mind.  

Just another day around here.

 

A man went camping in a state park. Before leaving his car to go hiking he left a note on the dashboard saying, “The stereo is broke.”  He did this to deter thieves from breaking into his older model car.

When returning from his hike the man noticed his car window was broken and the stereo was cut from the dashboard.

A note was left by the thief saying, “We’ll fix it.”

 

Love that one. Great visual. Matthew 19:24

I don’t know why they are all democrats, I’m sure there’s a bunch of Republicans we can think of that need to be on that list, also.

Next is a classic amongst classics! Thanks to my old pal Jonathon for sending this one along!

 

That is a fantastic definition! May someone please think of me that way when they think of a Christian!

 

A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!”
The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

My wife asked me to remind her to get ice cream for a pie we had on the way home.
I immediately bellowed, “REMEMBERRRRRR THEEE AALLAMOOODE!!!

And I would bet good money that you also immediately got slapped.

I stayed at a little country cottage during my spring vacation; my landlady kept animals.

On the first day, one of her chickens died, so we had roast chicken for dinner.

On the second day, one of her pigs died, so we had honey baked ham for dinner.

On the third day, one of her sheep died, so we had lamb chops for dinner.

On the fourth day, her husband died, so I left before dinner.

If all your problems are behind, you…
Then you might be a school bus driver!

There are so many things that I’d like to go into, but given the opportunity and the keyboard…they elude me. I’m sure, as soon as I close this issue out, I’ll think, “darn! I wanted to talk about … ” 

So let me just end with this. Thank you all  so much for your support over the years that you have been with me. I have some things on my mind that I need to get down on paper and maybe in the near future I’ll talk to you guys about it. It’s actually quite the long story and involves my distant past that is coming back to haunt me in an unusual way. Not a bad way, just an unusual way.

Until then, and until we speak again, may our Good Lord Bless you and Keep you and Smile His Face Upon You. May Love and Happiness be filled up in your  life.