I’m not sure why Aussie Pete sent me the above header, or why he’s trying to celebrate Christmas in July, but who am I to question the genius of the AP?

So, today is Sunday and this one is going out on … I don’t know … sometime in the future. Actually in August I think. So, the whole Christmas in July thing is WASTED! I’m so ashamed!

But! I’m sitting here after church. I talked to buddy Wheats, who’s recovering well from his heart attack, I’m eating the world’s greatest cookie, the oatmeal raisin, and I’m writing to you guys, so I’m pretty sure that

So, with all of that …

I sent that picture to the Whelpling and told him that I had found him a new truck…he hasn’t responded. 

I LOVE that!  I’m going to start using that. For fairy tales, stories, lies, and war stories of all kinds. “Back when tigers used to smoke, we used to…” Just awesome! And I’m old enough to get away with that!

Power to the People!

The “Ribbed for her pleasure” part is a really nice touch by somebody. That just goes out of the way to prove that it wasn’t a mistake.

So very true. Fix it and move on, my friend.

Amen! And you are QUITE WELCOME to go back to there!

What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

Iron Man is a superhero.
Iron Woman is a command.

Okay, you know this is coming, right?

1 Kings 19:12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. Learn to listen for that still small voice. Satan’s voice is a big loud voice. It’s meant to distract, confuse, and draw away your attention. The still small voice requires your thoughtful, concentrated, undivided attention…for a reason.

Humanity is losing its geniuses.
Aristotle died, Newton passed away, Einstein died…

…and I’m not feeling well today, either.

A man went skydiving for the first time. “It’s easy,” said the instructor.
“Just count to five and pull on the main chute,” the instructor continued.

“If that doesn’t open, count to ten and pull on the reserve chute.”
“Super easy,” he concluded. “Then you’ll float slowly to the ground, and

our bus will be there to drive you back to the airport.”
The man jumped out the plane, and pulled on the main chute. Nothing

happened. He pulled on the reserve chute. Nothing happened.
He looked down at the ground which was approaching fast, and said:

“I bet that bus won’t be there to pick me up either.”

Jack: “I’m taking a weight lifting class. Every week the postal carrier brings me a new set of weights.”
Bob: “Gee, you don’t look like you’ve gained any muscle.”
Jack: “No, but you ought to see the postal carrier!”

I moved into a bungalow recently.
I was going to move into a house, but that’s another story.

Okay wait. So…if this guy had a total of ten towers, he would work a total of twenty days a year … no, let’s say he had to drive there the day before and drive home the next day so that means that he’d have to work a total of sixty days a year…the equivalent of 3 of our Monday through Friday Months. Or, if he did one a week. Drive there on Tuesday, climb the tower on Wednesday and drive home on Thursday, he would have to work twenty 3-day weeks a year and he would make $400,000 a year doing that. Or, if he really wanted to load down his schedule and do one a week … if there were that many towers around for him to do, he could do 52 3-day weeks a year for $1,040,000. I’m overwhelmed with the possibilities of this.

The Impish has been sayin’ that for a while now.

A three-year-old, WIDE EYED, little girl was on the phone, “I KID YOU NOT!

This guy in a white dress or robe tries to drown me! He puts me under water and my family just stood there taking pictures.”

Great Clock

Been there, done that.

My grandpa recently told me that my generation was too reliant on technology.
“No, grandpa, your generation is too reliant on technology,” I retorted as I unplugged him from life-support.

Has my mouth gotten me in trouble?

Yes

Has it made people angry?

Yes

Am I going to stop speaking my mind?

Not a chance!

Wife: I’m not talking to you!

Husband: Okay.

Wife: Don’t you want to know why?

Husband: No. I respect and trust your decision.

A pastor giving a children’s sermon on vestments asked, “Why do you think I wear this collar?”

One of the children answered, “Because it kills ticks and fleas up to 30 days?”

That’s it my friends. Time for dinner.  I didn’t get a chance to get an update on contributions because you guys haven’t seen the first one yet, so were still right here:

So, for the next issue we should have a NICE update. Go to PayPal by way of the website at dragonlaffs.com, or reach out to me for the other ways by writing to impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com and until then,