This one may be a little short this time.  Today is Thursday and I’m prepping this for Saturday.

But that should leave you plenty of time, Impish.

You would think so, but it’s already a bit late on Thursday and tomorrow I am teaching a class on the Armor of God that I am SO pumped up about. I have REALLY gone over the top for this class.  My co-facilitator and I have been bouncing the made up lesson plan back and forth like all week getting it all ready.  See, normally we teach out of a curriculum that is more or less provided for us.  We put our own spin on that, but from what happened in the last class, I REALLY felt led to teach on this subject so I kind of made it up out of whole cloth (which means I like it a whole lot better). Not to be prideful or anything, but I believe I’m a bit of a better writer than those who are writing the books we’re working out of. One of these days I’ll publish here some of my real writing and you guys can judge for yourself.

Anyway, when I retire, I’ve thought of doing a blog just of religious writings, if for no other reason so that the Spirit would leave me alone and stop waking me up at 3 am with ideas.

But!

If I want to bring any laughter to you guys, I must, like dust, accumulate some electrons here and quickly!  So, without further ado….

Okay, so we’ve had another guess, and nope, that’s not me either.

Next topic … are these two a thing here in the states now?  I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore and I REALLY don’t watch a lot of THAT kind of news, but I got inundated with memes on them this week.

Well, maybe not as many as I thought, but even 3 is too many.

I know a lot of guys like this.

GREAT SONG!  Okay, so let’s find it!

1969!  How old were you in 1969?  I was 11!!!!  Wow!

And THAT is why we all detest politicians!

And then we have this one:

DOJ receives Gabbard’s criminal referral on bombshell claims Obama admin ‘manufactured’ Russian collusion hoax

Which we all knew was true for years, but just happens to come out at the same time that the Epstein (not sure I’m spelling that right) files are pointing at Trump. They are all liars and thieves, but at least Trump is doing SOME good.

Get ready folks, because the only thing that can cover all these cat turds up is a nice big WAR!  Besides the fact that this is all playing right into God’s hand anyway.  I can’t help but think that this, ALL OF THIS, sounds an awful lot like Matthew 24, starting in verse 5 when Jesus is talking about false teachers.  Don’t we have an awful lot of those out there right now.  All those impastors in the pulpits trying to convince us that good is evil and evil is good. 

Matthew 24 starting in verse 6, Jesus speaking: And you will  hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to  pass, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of sorrows. 

He goes on to say: And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds an AWFUL LOT like what’s going on right now.  Jesus was talking about the early birth pains of the tribulation.  And sweetheart, you don’t want to be here for that one.  I don’t plan on it.  I plan on being gone with the Rapture.

Wow.  I REALLY didn’t plan that.  That’s just my fingers doin’ what they want to.  Ain’t it great.

Yeah, I don’t have a Porsche either.

I’m ashamed to admit, this one took me a minute.  Then I laughed my head off.

Yup…that one would definitely be way too expensive.

Sorry, But It’s Actually Physically, Mentally, And Emotionally Impossible Not To Laugh At Every Single One Of These Pictures

You know, this is actually a great idea.

There is a great story about Mary and I and Little Caesars.  That’s where we met.  She started out working for me.  I took over the store she was working out as a temporary manager when the store manager had to have his feet operated on.  This was when I first got out of the Air Force and before I started working for the Air Force as a civilian.  Anyway, I was just supposed to manager this place for a couple six weeks while he recovered.  I was a brand new manager.  But, I turned the place completely upside down, doubled the sales, people were coming from all over Indianapolis to come to my store because in just a few short weeks they heard how good it was, so when the regular manager came back, the company wanted to put him in a different store because I had made this one mine.  It made him so mad he quit.  Mary wrote in her diary (she showed me this a year or so later) when she first met me, “I hate this new manager! He’s such a bastard!”  And then a couple years later I met up with her again and I was single and asked her out for coffee.  We both still worked for Caesars, but she was a manager then.  Always have a soft place in my heart for that company even though the original owners kids ruined it.

Heard a dramatic reading of this on the radio the other day and tracked down the original poem.  What a wonderful thing it is.

A man’s ex-wife called him at work wanting to know how to change the light bulb in the bathroom.

 

So he told her: “First, fill the bathtub with water…

I WANT ONE!!!!

What do you mean, “You don’t get it.”?  It’s a bad joke because there’s no punch line.

Oh, it’s so true!

Customer Service Department
B&Q
 
Dear Sir/Madam
 
My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK on 28th November 2004, sail 27,354 miles around the world and arrive back in the same place 72 days later.
 
Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96 days ago will be arriving from your warehouse 13 miles away?
 
Yours sincerely

Well, I don’t know about that part about the cat, but the rest of all that is true.

Did they check to see if there was any whack on bench stock?

Ummm, me, too.

Okay, here, I’ll help.

Huh!  Well, look at that!

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define ‘great’ he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”  He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages

“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef

Give it a minute, you’ll figure it out.

Arial Division

Ground Division

Now you know…or Know you now.

How’s that trick workin’ out there for you Donaldo?

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
 
-Will Rogers (1879-1935)

There’s one not everyone will get!

I’ve got one very similar to that in my cave.  There’s no glass though.

Yup, so were the dogs.

Yup, and you really ought to read John 3:17 as well…For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Saved through Him. That’s the only way folks. No good works. No, “But, basically I’m a good person, I’m sure God will understand.” Nope, doesn’t work that way. “In order that the world might be saved through Him.” Hey, it’s in the instruction book.

This one is from brother Joe, in NJ.  How you doing brother Joe, hope you are well.  It’s called Girl Talk … don’t know what Joe knows about Girl Talk, but this is funny.

Girl Talk…

The Franklin Factor:

Early to bed and early to rise means it’s time to meet more guys.

The Rat Race:

If there’s one rat in a room full of nice men, he’ll hit on you first.

The Eyeglass Prescription:

Don’t wear your glasses on a blind date. You’ll look better, and he will too.

The Ring Rule:

A watched telephone never rings.

The Creep Call:

Never pick up the phone on Saturday night. It’s a call from a creep you told you were busy.

The Fishing Forecast:

They say there are lots of good fish in the sea.

But who wants to go out with a fish?

The Psychological Prognosis:

Love is a form of temporary insanity curable by marriage.

The Rope Trick:

Give a man enough rope and he’ll lasso another woman.

Mind Over Matter:

No one ever falls in love with another person’s mind at a cocktail party.

The Fault Finder:

The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to move in with your lover.

 

Okay, warning, this one is also from Joe.

There was this guy and he had a girlfriend named Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work and found that a new girl had started working with him at his office. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite smitten with her and after a while it became obvious that she was very interested in him too.
 
But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn’t do anything with Clearly while he was still going out with his girlfriend. He decided that there was nothing left to do but to break up with Lorraine and get on with Clearly.
 
He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Then one day they went for a walk along the riverbank when Lorraine slipped and fell into the river.
 
The current carried her off and she drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing and smiling and singing.
 
 
What was he singing, you ask???
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.Get ready, it’s good… 🙂
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I. can see Clearly now …. Lorraine is gone

No.  No Joe.  It really wasn’t.

Stephen is going to start sending us Ripley’s Believe It or Not! so we can start a new section.  I’m thinking of putting it right here. What do you think?  Guess I’ll need a header.

But, until then, may all be well with you and…