Well, it is an appropriate picture for coming up on Sundae…I mean Sunday. I just got done creating a lesson for next Friday’s class on the Armor of God.  I’m giving it to my partner at church tomorrow to see how she likes it and for her input.  Let’s see, that would be yesterday for you guys.

This whole time traveling thing is getting weird again.

I feel horrible and I feel ashamed at the same time. 

You guys know I’ve had a rough week, right?  Well, you also know my buddy Wheats who was my roommate in Germany in the early 80’s.  We’ve known each other 43, 44 years, something like that.  We’re really good friends.  Talk to each other like every day by text or phone.

Well, last night, I was just getting ready to go to bed and FINALLY it hit me.  You know, I haven’t heard from Wheats like all week. I wonder … and I hear my phone go ding from  the other room. (I was in the bathroom).  So, I spit in the sink and go look at my phone and it’s buddy Wheats.

I read, “I had a heart attack on Monday and I died on the way to the hospital. They’re just now moving me out of ICU.” And he sends me a picture of him with tubes coming out of his nose and stuff.  Come to find out that he started having trouble breathing.  Then he started having a LOT of trouble breathing so he called 911.  He lives by himself in SC.  Then he stopped breathing about the same time the EMTs showed up.  Then on the way to the hospital he dies and they have to bring him around. (He didn’t say whether they shocked him or gave him CPR.  His phone was dying and he didn’t have a charger.  Nurse was gonna try to find one so I was just trying to get the important stuff…and to pick on him).  

They put a stint in his heart and they are going to keep him under observation for a while cause they don’t know whether they are going to need to put in another stint or not. 

But I felt like crap that I was so wrapped up in my stuff that I didn’t even notice that we hadn’t talked this week!  He was anxious to get out of ICU so he could call me cause he was worried about me!  So, when he sent me the picture I told him he looked like crap, you know, just like friends do.  I asked him if he saw anything when he died.  He said no.  I asked him if it started to get warm when he died.  I told him I’d head down there to rescue him if I needed to.

I’m texting him right now!  He got a cord and he’s charged up and we’re talking again, so good news.  So, you guys go ahead and get on with your laffs while I visit with Wheats for a while.

I have definitely found my spirit animal!

Vermont Law
 
At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.

I am SO OVER the Epstein Files!!!!!  Trump needs to release them, unredacted.  The footage from the prison needs to be released and not that Hollywood movie footage that they claim is the “raw footage”.  NO ONE believes this crap any more.  Even more, NO ONE CARES!  We all know he didn’t commit suicide.  It’s gonna go back to the Clinton/Obama cartel anyway so WHO CARES!  As soon as that evil block of dirt is buried the better off we’ll all be.

Okay, Izzy didn’t get that one…how about you guys?

Wow!  I feel so safe!

So, I got an email recently from a guy named Steve with the subject line of: Want to sell dragonlaffs.com?  He says he’s from flippa.com.  I laughed so hard and deleted it.  But it did crack me up.

Actually, it’s pretty easy.  We don’t HAVE to blow fire if we don’t want to.  Why does everyone think we blow fire all the time?  How would we sleep?  Have pillow fights?  Put gas in our lawn mowers?  All kinds of things.

I have questions…several in fact.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
 
-Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

There was once a general store in central Kansas back around 1900. The owner was an elderly man who went to church for a long time. 

The store always had those two or three “older gentlemen” that you always see on the front porch talking about “the war” or how it used to be. 

Anyway, this certain store owner had the habit of quoting Scripture every time he made a transaction, and it was always a different verse. 
 
It got to where the old men on the porch came in every time a customer showed up just to hear what the verse was going to be. 

Well, one day, a Texan came in and inquired about the rug that was hanging on the wall. 

The man asked about the price of the rug, and the owner told him $400. But, the owner and the old men all knew that the true worth was about $200. 

So the Texan thought it over and said, “I’ll take it!”  He bought the rug and left the store. 
 
The old men stared at the owner in anticipation of what possible Scripture could follow such a dishonest act. 

The owner said, “He was a stranger, and I took him in.”

Not sure if I showed this one to you guys or not, but the above shirt was part of a memory that I got on my anniversary from Facebook from Mary the year before she passed away.  I laughed and then I cried and then I laughed and I cried.  Yeah … I think this was in the last episode.  Tough, look at it again.

This one wasn’t.  A guy I knew in 5th grade saw my Facebook post about my anniversary and long story short, sent along the above picture entitled Flatbush 5th grade.  So, which one is Impish?  Man, that brought me back…WAY back.

And since we’re talking about weird stuff, today at church we had an eagle land in our parking lot.  She’s a young eagle and I managed to snap a couple of pictures through the glass door.

She’s actually a lot bigger than she looks.

Bring back these wonderful apple pies!!!!

The other day I met a good friend of mine who is a genetic engineer. He was happy to tell me of his job.

His latest project is the splicing of DNA from different specie of birds.

First he combined the DNA from a pheasant and a hen.

It worked! He called it a “Phen.”

Next he successfully combined a pheasant and a goose.

He called it a “Phoose.”

Yesterday, he explained, he finally was able to mix a pheasant and a duck.

He called it… “Charlie.”

Oh so very true!

26 of The Most Peculiar News Stories From Around The World

This desert plant blooms once.  Not once a season or once a year, once in it’s lifetime.

28 Unruly Bits of Trivia We’re Unloading on Your Doorstep Because Our Brains Have Had It Up to Here With Them

A genie granted me one wish, so I said I just want to be happy. Now I’m living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.

Incorrect is the only word that when spelled correctly is still incorrect.

I’m dating a shoemaker. I’ve found my sole mate.

I went to a vegetarian restaurant last night and when I’d finished the waiter asked: “How was your meal, Sir.” “It was very nice,” I replied. “My compliments to the gardener.” 

When I was little my mom used to feed me alphabet soup claiming I love it. I didn’t really, she was just putting words in my mouth.

Yesterday a beautiful nurse accidentally stepped on my oxygen tube. She was breathtaking.

Honey is the tastiest of all the insect vomits we have tried so far.

I got a little nap time this Easter, I hid 48 eggs and told my kids there were 50.

I bought some passenger jets in order to start a offering flights exclusively for bald people. I’m going to call it Receding Airlines.

 Wife: Lets go out and have some fun tonight!. 
Husband: Okay but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.

Does anyone else feel loke their bring watched….  CIA “They’re”

My wife asked me why I wanted to be cremated. I told her it’s because it’s my last hope for a smoking hot body.

Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won’t be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that’s what’s been missing.

When bald people wash their faces, how high up to they go?

I went to the toy store and asked the clerk where the Arnold Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back”. 

And with that lovely picture now stuck in my head.  I need some brain bleach please!  Until next time.