I think (therefore I am. Cogito, ergo sum.) Hmm, not what I was thinking at all. Let’s start again, shall we, this time trying to keep the crazy, inner dragon at bay.
I think (I think I amTherefore I am, I think
Of course you are my bright little starI’ve miles and miles of filesPretty files of your forefather’s fruitAnd now to suit our great computerYou’re magnetic ink
I’m more than thatI know I amAt least, I think I must be
There you go manKeep as cool as you canFace piles of trials with smilesIt riles them to believeThat you perceive the web they weaveAnd keep on thinking free)
Okay, so now we’re flashing back to a 1969 Moody Blues song called In the Beginning. Impish’s head is in a weird place this morning…especially if I’m talking about me in the third person. Probably my favorite band of all time.
Who?
No, not the Who, the Moody Blues.
The Moody Who?
Blues.
Who sings the blues?
Oh, just stop it right now.
I think this episode is supposed to be for Monday, 23 Jun. Which reminds me. I was so busy with things last Monday that I forgot it was a time for celebration!!!! To the best of my knowledge, going backwards in time, it was Dragon Laffs 19th Anniversary! How about that? 19 years of doing DL in this format.
So, let’s move on to the laughs and maybe I’ll add some other stuff to this as we go on.
Theory of relativity:
The more relatives are visiting you, the slower the time passes.
I laughed so hard at that one. This guy doesn’t look like he can defeat a Big Mac.
What a GREAT bunch of guys! This one really touched me.
And this one really cracked me up. But mine’s a double.
This next one touched me quite a bit. I think I’ve mentioned before how badly dementia has affected my dad. Thanks to Chris for this next one.
If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.
1a. Every time you enter the room announce yourself. “Hi Mom- it’s Margaret.”
NEVER ask- Do you know who I am??? That causes anxiety.
1b. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.
2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
3. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
5. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
7. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
13. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
14. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
16. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
19. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”
ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ in Honor of someone you know or knew who has dementia. In Honor of all those who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s and the family members that care for them with such patience and understanding. There’s no greater love or loyalty. 
Kind of spoils your rant when you know the truth, doesn’t it.
I really like this guy.
Can you IMAGINE leaving your kid hang outside your car nowadays?!?! I can hear Karen fainting right now!
That is such an AWESOME way of looking at it.
I think we may have done this one in the past, but it is so funny it’s worth a repeat.
Genuine? entries from hospital records:
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day, it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy-appearing decrepit 69 year-old-male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only 40-lb. weight gain in past 3 days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14. Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
15. She is numb from her toes down.
16. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
17. The skin was moist and dry.
18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
20. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
24. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
27.. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
28. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
29. Patient was seen in consultation by doctor who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.
30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
Etch-A-Sketch Users Manual
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over
the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What’s the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don’t shake it.
I took this picture yesterday (Thursday) in Wabash after a special class. I have never seen a double rainbow in real life before and I have never seen such a vibrant rainbow before. I swear that thing was plugged in somewhere! You could almost hear it crackle with energy! It was amazing!
Look at that! You can make out all seven colors. Remember the old way of remembering the colors of a rainbow? ROY-G-BIV? Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet. Pronounced Roy Gee Biv. And MAN, yellow sure is bright! God’s promise to us that He will never again destroy the earth by flood. Next time, it will be by fire. Says so right there in the Bible.
Too funny. Gotta love science jokes.
I have words for you, but as a Christian man I can’t use many of them. But, I can say that, with that look on your face, the price was cheap to get rid of you.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
Robert Orben
That’s it until next time. May God Bless you and keep you until we meet again.
Dragon Laffs 
The pill box . . . mine is four weeks in one. I hate the part where I have to put the pills in, slightly more than when I have to put them in my mouth, to gag in my throat!
Thank you for the Disasters/Republican back to where we left off. I see every day, disasters the world over like I have never seen before.
Months ago, I saw pictures and read about around 1,000 people who attended a Christian revival, and were at the lake, waiting for their turn to be baptized. I see pictures and read of Christians being massacred, I hear Congressmen speaking in Biblical scriptures . . . and the disasters go on, and so does the expressed belief that we are in the throes of the Last Days.
Thank you for giving me a break from all the bad news with joyful humor!
You are so very welcome dear friend. There is always time to laugh.
I loved the moody blues listen to them all time
Yahoo Mail: Search, Organize, Conquer
Seen them live several times. Rock and Roll music with a full orchestra back up! It doesn’t get any better than that!
I really miss the days of yesteryear the great music and the good times the great people none of the bs everyone had to deal with
Yahoo Mail: Search, Organize, Conquer
I agree. Life was so much simpler then. The music was definitely better.