Another issue started after the last one finished.  I’m trying to get ahead for you guys.  Not to mention, that I enjoy it so much.  It’s a Saturday afternoon, while the No Kings idiots are marching throughout the country, my three girls are sound asleep around the house. Pepper on the floor, Willow on the couch, and Izzy upstairs.  I don’t have the news on because it just makes me mad.  I have on Warehouse 13, I’m relaxing and enjoying a wet Saturday.  So, let’s go ahead and get some laughter going, shall we?

Now THAT is a great and timely prayer for our times!

The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.

It was a vile inn.

10%. That is how much the average penis size has grown in the U.K. and experts aren’t sure why.

Some think it could be due to Ozempic but that is pure speculation.

Penis sizes are growing around the world actually and doctors say they’re concerned.

I went to the Walmart today and I was there for literally 5 minutes.

When I came out there was a police officer writing a parking ticket for being in a handicap spot.

So I went up to him and said, “Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?”

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked cop.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!

So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face down on the couch cause he’s so ugly.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on until he had placed 5 tickets on the windshield… the more I insulted him, the more tickets he wrote.

I didn’t care. My car was parked around the corner.

I started out with nothing…
and I still have most of it.

I told you it was a bunch.

Best Childhood Memory…

Falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…
I miss teleporting.  It never happens to me anymore.

Let’s do a couple more and move on…

My pal tells me he always cries after having sex.  I told him it was his own fault for getting sent to prison in the first place.

How to frighten the new generation:

Put them in a room with a rotary phone, an analog watch, and a TV with no remote.
Then leave them directions on how to use everything in cursive.

And another one in the box.  May God bless you with love and happiness.  Until next time.