I am starting a five day weekend!
Now, there are some restrictions…
I am going to my oldest grandwhelpling’s high school graduation on Tuesday and his open house on Monday. So, it’s not like I have the whole five days to myself to rest and relax.
But!
I don’t have to be at work!
And that alone is worth a LOT!
But for some reason, tonight (Thursday) I am so anxious and so on edge I can’t hardly stand it. Maybe I need to eat. It is after 6 pm. But my blood sugar is good (141). I made Lasagna Bob for the Memorial Day carry-in at work today and had a big hunk of that. What is Lasagna Bob? Click either of the two links and find out. And yes, that’s me. Today’s effort was a tiny bit underwhelming if I do say so myself. I think because I had to assemble it last night and put it in the fridge over night and then carry it to work and then cook it at work today. Lasagna is best assembled and cooked all in one sitting. Since it was refrigerated, it had to overcome the cold before it started really cooking.
Anyway, everyone thought it was great.
But still no explanation for why I’m feeling anxious. So, let’s get to the laughter and we’ll try and figure the rest of it out. I remember reading something, somewhere about a no reason anxious feeling before a heart-attack, so let’s hope THAT’S not going on!
Just another reason why there will be no cats in Impish’s cavern.
That is truly amazing to me.
I just freaked Izzy dragon out! I told her, “If you have to call 911 for me. Make sure you unlock and open the front door. Lock both dogs up. And do you know how to do CPR?” She looked at me like I was nuts.
A Yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at 10 o’clockthe next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again.
He didn’t arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled, “What the hell took ya so long? You’re over two hours late.”
“Hey! Give me a break.” whined the Yuppie. “I have a 27 handicap.”
Okay, I gotta admit. I stayed completely calm and I couldn’t find the mistake. … … Never mind … … I just did. I feel so stoopit! The amount of time I looked at this thing!!!!!!!!!!!!
And speaking of stoopit, here’s a real Darwin Award Winner!
15 Impossibly Dated Lines from Looney Tunes Cartoons
The problem is … I understood every single one of them… 😦
I’ve lived here since 1989 (36 years) and have stopped through several times prior to that and I can honestly say in that entire time in the state of Indiana they have never NOT been working on I-65.
Of course. Why wouldn’t you have been.
As we should do with all of our sinner friends.
A twofer from Joe:
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
-Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
_______________
A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
“Honey,” the woman replied sweetly, “I’d have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE”
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
In modern education and expanded government, however, a whole range of far more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Re-classifying the dead horse as “living-impaired.”
8. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the speed.
10. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance.
11. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance.
12. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
13. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
14. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
15. As a last resort, sell it on eBay.
I must have this sign!
Oh, by the way, I made it through the night just fine, thank you. Feel fine. Got a GREAT night’s sleep. Got up this morning, took my Old Testament test for FBI to close out the first semester. Only got a 93. Had hoped to do much better, but hey! I’ll take an A! Then went to the store and got jail candy and then the grocery store.
What’s jail candy? I’m pretty sure I’ve explained this before, but I’ll tell you again. Every Wednesday when we go to the jail, we give the guys candy at the end of the lesson. I think personally, that it brings some of them to class, the opportunity to get a couple of pieces of candy that they can’t get otherwise, but if that exposes them to the Word of God, then so be it.
Speaking of the jail, did I tell you guys that we baptized 3 guys this past Wednesday? Yeah, I did, in Thursday’s episode. It was awesome. And the lesson itself on Wednesday was so poignant to one of the guys that he actually was crying. It was a Good night.
I really need to clean my garage.
Oh Heck Yeah!
And that happens, too!!!!
Chris sent this one on Getting Old…what a crappy reminder!
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
There are three signs of old age.
The first is your loss of memory, the other two I forget.
You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.
Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn’t that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?
You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you. Crap! Is that why that is happening?
Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.
Of course I’m against sin; I’m against anything that I’m too old to enjoy.
Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends.
What must hell possibly be like?
Home videos of the same reunion?
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
At my age, “getting a little action” means I don’t need to take a laxative.
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
You’re getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker and you can’t get it started.
You’re getting old when your wife gives up sex for Lent, and you don’t know until Labor Day.
You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.
The cardiologist’s diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.
It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.
You know you’re getting old when you stop buying green bananas.
Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money. Yeah, but not because I had fun with it.
Nope, not taking that ramp with a wheel chair. Although the plant would probably slow you down before you hit the next level down.
The very famous Coconut Clip sent to us by our dear friend Wouter
And that is the end of Saturday’s issue. I’m going to end this one and immediately start on the Dragon Laffs Memorial Day Episode. See you on Monday. May God Bless you with Love and Happiness until we meet again.
Dragon Laffs 
I wanted to learn CPR . . . just to have a different reason my husband wants me on my knees!
Another terrific edition. thanks.