So, do you ever get tired of doing the same things day after day?  

I’m not saying I’m in a rut, because I don’t think that I am, but I feel like I am.  

Now, I know that doesn’t make any sense at all.  I think the real problem is that I’ve always got something to get done and not near enough time to get it done.  Some of it is important, some of it is necessary, but unimportant, and some of it is just plain tedious.  I suppose we ALL have the same complaint.  And maybe it feels rut-like because the last two weeks have felt the same way every day.

BUT!  My parts for the trike came in the mail today, so I believe I have everything I need to finish fixing it on Saturday!  I may be riding by Saturday.  You guys may never hear from me again!!!

Okay, so I’m kidding (I think).  So, while I consider that, let’s go ahead and get to this part…

As I’ve said so many times before, because I’m not a big vegetable eater, which annoyed both my wife and my doctor, I don’t eat green stuff.  I eat things that eat green stuff.  In that way I get my vegetables.

I think the Midwest is the perfect example of this.  Two days ago it almost reached 90 degrees here and we had a frost advisory last night.  Right now, as I write this, it is 41.  Only 9 degrees above freezing.  And yet, in a little while, I have to go out and mow…for the second time this week. By the way, today is Friday and I took the day off to get things done.

I took my Theology test this morning.  I got a 98 on it.  Missed one question.  But I have to be completely honest.  In the midst of the test I was convinced I was failing.  It was a pretty hard test.  I went with my best recollection of each question and I guess it paid off.  I’m really happy, but I won’t say proud because I know this one wasn’t me at all.  This one was all because of God getting me through.

Gee, if only we had the technology…

Um….the stupidity and implications of this statement are overwhelming.

A true genius!

I’m not gonna say it…I’m not gonna say it…I’M NOT GONNA SAY IT!!!

It’s gonna take a lot.  That place has been abandoned for a long time.  I think they’ve been doing tours and such, so it shouldn’t be in TOO bad a shape, but it’s still gonna take a lot.

I grew up living paycheck to paycheck…but through hard work, time and perseverance…I now live direct deposit to direct deposit!

For my age, I have a lot going for me…my eyes are going, my knees are going, my back is going.

“You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,” sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. “If I wasn’t under oath, I’d return the compliment,” replied the witness.

Friend of mine won the Philippines National Origami championship. He’s a Manila folder.

It’s hard to believe that bears made porridge and the only thing wrong with hit was the temperature.

This week’s forecast calls for rane, hale, gails, drissle, thundre, litnin, tawnadydoes, and frizzing colde. Just a really bad spell of weather.

Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.

Every time I’m about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up.

A suspect was charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper! In his defense he said: “I only meant to rough him up a bit”.

Three things I enjoy are eating my cats and not using commas.

Why did the two geologists break up? Because they had a rocky relationship.

Apart from “Fine” and “Okay”, what other death threats do women use?

 I once lost a job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.

Went to the Helium Museum. I can’t speak highly enough about it.

I’m so poor I rubbed cologne from a magazine on me. Someone said, ‘you smell so good, what are you wearing?’ I said, ‘page 12’.

My wife told me I’ve grown as a person. Her actual words were, ‘you’ve gotten fat’, but I know what she meant.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. 

-Edward R. Murrow  (1908-1965)

And if you don’t see this one coming, then you must be really young.

This young swimmer from the Australian Olympic team manages to sneak his new girlfriend, a gorgeous Danish gymnast, into his room at the Olympic Village. 

Once she’s inside, he quickly switches out all the lights and they rapidly disrobe and leap onto his bed in a flurry of athletic achievement. 

After about twenty minutes of wild sex they both collapse back on the bed in exhaustion. 

The girl looks admiringly across at the swimmer in the dim light.

His beautifully-developed muscles, tanned skin and smooth-shaven scalp glisten with little beads of sweat as he lays beside her. 

She’s really pleased to have met this guy.

At this point the swimmer slowly struggles up from the bed.

He fumbles the lid off a bottle on the bedside table, pours himself a small shot in a glass and drinks it down in one gulp. 

Then he stands bolt upright, takes a deep breath and, in a surprisingly energetic motion, dives under the bed, climbing out the other side and beating his chest like a gorilla. 

Then he vaults back on top of the girl and commences a frantic repeat performance. 

The Danish girl is very impressed with the gusto of this second encounter. 

Somehow the Aussie has completely recovered from his previous exhaustion! 

After nearly half an hour of wild activity in every possible position, the gasping male swimmer again crawls out of bed and swallows another shot of the mysterious liquid. 

Once more he dives under the bed, emerges on the other side, beats his chest and commences to make love all over AGAIN. 

The girl is just amazed and delighted as the action continues at the same blistering pace as before. In the darkness, she can’t properly see what kind of tonic is causing these incredible transformations, but she sure likes the effect! 

More than an hour later, after another repeat of the strange drinking ritual on his part, and a whole string of ecstatic multiple orgasms on her part, the Danish girl is now feeling rather faint herself. 

“Just a minute, big boy,” she whispers to the panting bald-headed Aussie, “I think I need to try some of your tonic!” 

She rises unsteadily and pours a small shot of the liquid.

She braces herself for some sort of medicinal effect, but actually it just tastes like Coca-Cola. 

Then she stands up straight, takes a deep breath and dives under the bed – only to smash straight into the three other exhausted members of the Australian relay team. 

A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner street, where the people were going in and out of the cold.  The little boy was so cold himself that he wasn’t really trying to sell many papers.

He walked up to a policeman nearby and said, “Mister, you wouldn’t happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you?

You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it’s awful cold in there for tonight.  Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay.”

The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, “You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door.  When they come out the door…you just say ‘John 3:16’ and they will let you in.”

So, he did.  He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a lady answered.  He looked up and said, “John 3:16.”

The lady said, “Come on in, Son.”  She took him in, and she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went off.  The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself: John 3:16. I don’t understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm.

Later she came back and asked him, “Are you hungry?”

He said, “Well, just a little.  I haven’t eaten in a couple of days, and I guess I could stand a little bit of food.”

The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food.

He ate and ate until he couldn’t eat any more.  Then he thought to himself…John 3:16…Boy, I sure don’t understand it but is sure makes a hungry boy full.

She then took him upstairs to a bathroom where there was a huge bathtub filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a while.  As he soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16… I sure don’t understand it, but I sure makes a dirty boy clean.

You know, I’ve not had a bath, a real bath, in my whole life.  The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.

The lady came in and got him.  She took him to a room, tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up and round his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights.

As he lay in the darkness and looked out the window at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to himself:  John 3:16… I don’t understand it but it sure makes a tired boy rested.

The next morning the lady came back up and took him down again to that same big table full of food.

After he ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom rocker in front of the warm fireplace and picked up a big old Bible.

She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face.  “Do you understand John 3:16?” She asked gently.

He replied, “No, Ma’am, I don’t.  The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it.”

She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about Jesus.

Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart and life to Jesus.  He sat there and thought:  John 3:16…don’t understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe.

You know, I must confess, I don’t understand it either, how God was willing to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do such a thing.

I don’t understand the agony of the Father and every angel in heaven as they watched Jesus suffer and die.

I don’t understand the intense love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end.

I don’t understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. – John 3:16

And that my friends is that.  Now I have to go mow the lawn….fun times.  Be well, be blessed, until we meet again.  Love and happiness to you all.