Of course that header is from Aussie Pete!

Today is still Saturday and I’m starting the next issue to try to get ahead because I’m going to be so busy this coming week.  This one should come out on Thursday.  Since I’ve nothing new to say, let’s just get into it shall we?

Ohio, Oxford Law 

It’s illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture.

I was escorted to a wedding by my twenty-four-year-old bachelor son. 

He appeared unaffected by the ceremony until the bride and groom lighted a single candle with their candles and then blew out their own. 

With that he brightened and whispered, “I’ve never seen that done before.” 

I whispered back, “You know what it means, don’t you?” 

His response:  “No more old flames?”

Selma and Irving receive a wedding invitation in the mail. Since it was many years since they were invited anywhere, they read it with glee, very excited that they were asked to attend a wedding. 

All was fine until they reached the last line. Confused, Irving asks Selma, “Selma, vat does this “RSVP” mean?” 

Selma was at a loss, as for the life of her, she simply couldn’t remember. Finally, she cries out: 

“Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means “Remember, Send Vedding Present!”

36 People Who Made Questionable Decisions With Their Body

“This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew I’d like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. 

“If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. 

“If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. 

“If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. 

“That’s me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. 

This is a recording.” 

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline


Help lines are now available to everybody!


<ring>
Hello…
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.


If you are Obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are Co-dependant, ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, or 6.
If you are paranoid, We know who you are and are tracing the call.
If you are schizophrenic, a little voice will tell you what to do.
If you are depressed, it doesn’t matter what you do, nobody cares anyway. 


Thanks for calling.

It doesn’t matter what church you go to, it doesn’t matter if you are baptized or not, what DOES matter, do you accept Christ as your Lord and Savior and does He accept you as His disciple?

A well-stacked young advertising secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. 

Her young, aggressive boss motioned her into his office one afternoon and closed the door. 

Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, “Is that for sale?” 

“Of course not!” she snapped angrily, blushing furiously. 

Unchanged, he replied quietly, “Then, I suggest you quit advertising it.” 

A bus station is where a bus stops. 

A train station is where a train stops. 

On my desk,… I have a work station.

Oklahoma Law 

People who make “ugly faces” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed. 

Therein lies the truth of the matter.  Faith in God doesn’t take away my pain, I have the faith that God will continue to get me through the pain.  And He always has and I believe (I have the FAITH) that He always will.  Days like today, when the pain is … let’s say extra bad … my faith is unwavering.  Steadfast.  Yes, through this storm, I remain calm.

The father was very proud when his son went off to college.  

He came to tour the school on Parents’ Day and observed his son hard at work in the chemistry lab. “What are you working on?” he asked. 

“A universal solvent,” explained the son, ” a solvent that’ll dissolve anything.” 

The father whistled, clearly impressed, then wondered aloud, “What’ll you keep it in?” 

That’s it for today my friends.  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.  Until we meet again I ask that God Bless you with Joy and Happiness. Be Well.