It’s a snow day today!  So I’m teleworking…working from home.  Which is actually quite interesting if you think about it, since I am an Emergency Manager.  

We have an emergency going on!

No problem!  Your base Emergency Manager is on duty!

What is your assessment of the situation?

Um…I have no assessment…I…um…am working from home today.

Yeah, it’ll work out GREAT!  LOL.  I guess it’s a good thing that I’m only ten minutes or so away.  And with the base closed there won’t be any emergencies, anyway.  Great fun.  I’m writing this issue so far ahead, it is a moot point by the time you guys read this anyway.  So what do you say that we just jump right into our laughter, shall we?

This is very true.  But it really doesn’t help us at the time we are going through the bad times and is quite difficult to focus on at the time.  It is only afterward that we can look back and see it.  But it is there.  Trusting God to protect us, even in … ESPECIALLY IN … the bad times is key.  We may not know how it’s all going to turn out, but by trusting Him, we know we will be protected through.

This truly ticks me off!  Thanks goes out to Ted for providing the link.

Outrage as Biden set to award Hillary Clinton, George Soros with Presidential Medal of Freedom

I can’t think of two more undeserving, traitorous people to award that medal to!  Well, that’s not true.  I can think of MORE undeserving people, but still….  These two are definitely in the top five!  This is getting outrageous.  As of this writing, we have 11 more days of this nonsense.  I can’t possibly imagine the trouble this evil man is going to cause over the next 11 days.

North Carolina, Charlotte law

Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.

I’m embarrassed that these guys are an offshoot branch of my Air Force.

A magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two kids into armchairs. He started to panic and thought to himself, “What on earth have I done?”

He began to ponder, “How am I going to bring back my beloved family?” So, he thought for a while and decided a good idea was to take them to a hospital and see if the surgeon could operate and bring them back. He loaded them into his van and off he rushed to the local hospital.

He walked up and down the hospital hall and after some serious surgery, he asks the doctor, “Doc, how are they?”

The doctor replied, “Comfortable!”

IZZY DRAGON!  It’s YOU!!!

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times, “There Is No Such Thing As A Progressive Christian Church!”

Charles Dickens walked into a Manhattan bar on New Years Eve and ordered a martini. “Olive or twist?” said the bartender. 

 Last year, I was able to keep all of my New Year’s resolutions. Yep, they’re tucked away in a journal on my bookcase.

There were several astronauts who wanted to throw a New Year’s party on the Moon. Unfortunately, they didn’t planet in time.

Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve? Because it’s too far to walk.

I love when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.

Bringing the kids over for a play date.

This one has been around in one form or another for quite a long time.

Lorne was an old man, he was sick, and he was in the hospital. Anyway, there was this one young nurse that just drove him crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for our bath, or are we hungry?”

Old Lorne had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, Old Lorne had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his bed side stand. He had been given a Urine Bottle to fill for testing. The juice was apple juice. So…..you know where the juice went.

Well, the nurse came in a little later and picked up the urine bottle. She looks at it. “My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today…..”

At this, Old Lorne snatched the bottle out of her hand, pops off the top, and drinks it down, saying, “Well, I’ll run it through again, and maybe I can filter it better this time.”

The nurse fainted….. Old Lorne just smiled……

Lorne was an old man, he was sick, and he was in the hospital. Anyway, there was this one young nurse that just drove him crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for our bath, or are we hungry?”

Old Lorne had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, Old Lorne had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his bed side stand. He had been given a Urine Bottle to fill for testing. The juice was apple juice. So…..you know where the juice went.

Well, the nurse came in a little later and picked up the urine bottle. She looks at it. “My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today…..”

At this, Old Lorne snatched the bottle out of her hand, pops off the top, and drinks it down, saying, “Well, I’ll run it through again, and maybe I can filter it better this time.”

The nurse fainted….. Old Lorne just smiled……

Quote:

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

-Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888-1965)

This one is from Joe in NJ and I can’t help but think he’s talking about himself here …

I bought an exercise bicycle two years ago. It has an eighth of a mile on it.

See, what happened is, I discovered that the handlebars fit my sport jacket perfectly. And there’s a place for my beer and McDonald’s right under it … the most expensive coat hanger in New Jersey. 

Yeah….I’m thinkin’ I’m right…

Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?”

“Certainly not,” said the Priest. “As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it.”

“I tried,” Brian sobbed, “but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?”

“If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family.”

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.

Okay, let’s talk for a minute my friends.  Here’s the deal.  God has called me to do a great deal right now.  Let me tell you what my week is like.  Monday through Friday I have my full time job at the base as well as working the weekend UTA one weekend a month.  That’s my day time.  Now, my evenings, Monday I have a ministry at a … let’s call it a facility since I signed a non-disclosure agreement, Tuesday I teach a class at church, Wednesday is the Jail ministry, Thursday is the new semester of FBI (but that is now at my home church which is just across the street, so that’s nice!), Friday I’m at the same facility as Monday, every other Saturday is training for 7 to 8 hours for the Kairos Prison Ministry (which I don’t know if I told you about or not…I’ll briefly summarize it in a minute), and Sunday is church, then comes Monday again, rinse and repeat.

Kairos is 4 days in March…Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday where we go in to Miami Correctional Facility…the Prison, not the Jail and spend 12 to 14 hour days bringing the Gospel to the prisoners.  It requires five Saturdays worth of training to get to the point where we’re ready to do that.  Having worked in the Dept of Corrections before I’m not that concerned with the training and will end up missing two days due to the UTAs on the base.  Anyway, more to follow on Kairos later.

Many of you have written to me expressing that you would like to see shorter issues because you don’t read the entire thing anyway and as disappointing to me as that is thinking that I’m not on the edge of your seat entertaining enough that you just want every drop of what I put out there (okay, I’m only kidding, I get it, we’re on a fast past society thing right now)  less quantity at once and more frequency might be better and it might fit my time constraints as well.

So…I’m looking at a format change.  Not sure what that’s going to look like.  You can see that today’s issue is cut short and missing some regular stuff.  I’m not sure if I’ll try to throw a little bit of everything in every issue or have special days for special stuff like political Tuesday and Motivational Monday or something like that.  I’ll have to give it a little thought…and your input would be helpful.

Ahem…I’ll repeat that … YOUR INPUT WOULD BE HELPFUL.

Okay campers, I gotta fly.  I’ve got security at church this morning.  Which means I carry a gun and a radio.  Odd, I know.  Guns in church.  What a horrible thought, but… it is, what it is.

May God Bless you and keep you and smile His face upon you until we meet again.