At the beginning of each veteran’s service career, they raised their right hand and solemnly swore to put their lives between the evils of the world and the 94% of the people who will never do the same thing that they have done.  They have promised to give THEIR lives in order to protect YOURS.  They don’t even know you.  They have no idea who you are, but they are willing to die for you.  They don’t plan on it, in fact, they plan to do everything in their power to do their job in such a way so that the other guy gives HIS life for HIS country, if it comes down to that. 

Our job is SUPPOSED to be to appear so FIERCE that no other country WANTS to attack us.  We used to be really good at that.

6.2 % of the population are veterans and about 1% of the population are currently protecting the other 99%.  

These men and women do jobs like everyone else does, but underlying all those jobs is a primary job that we don’t really talk about…to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies.  But what is “the Constitution of the United States”?

You can point to the paper in Washington where it is housed in a special container filled with nitrogen (I think).  But what REALLY is the Constitution?

In my humble opinion, the Constitution of the United States is:

• First and foremost the people who make up the Spirit of the country.
• Second, the rules, regulations, and guidelines that make up the roadmap of where this country is going and, therefore, where it has been.
• And finally, it is the heart and soul of this country.  The Preamble says it all.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

• Form a more perfect Union.
• Establish Justice
• Insure domestic Tranquility
• Provide for the common defence
• Promote the general Welfare
• Secure the Blessings of Liberty
• All of this for ourselves and for our Posterity

And THAT is WHY I am a Veteran.  And that is also why my oath of service will NEVER expire.  To all my brothers and sisters, whether you’ve served 30 years or 30 days, whether you were Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines or Coast Guard, may I offer you my most sincere and heartfelt thank you for your service and may you have a truly wonderful and happy Veterans Day.

Now…

Amen!  I don’t need it to be lighter out later or earlier or whatever the heck it’s supposed to be.  Just pick one and leave it the heck alone!!!!!!

Here’s another small part of my job…severe weather.  Plus, I personally have this thing about tornadoes…

What an awesome tattoo.

Okay, Stephanie shared this next one.  Here’s the link:  https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=909744267696467&rdid=IaEDimJEkuf9cnnE and I have no idea what the backstory is, but the content is a young man obviously reading something quickly that is so well said that it is awesome.  But he goes through it so fast that it loses some of it’s punch.  So, I spent hours transcribing this little less than 3 minute video and here is the transcription:

You say you don’t believe in God, but the scientist, Sir Roger Penrose calculated the likelihood of the universe having this precise of a design and the calculation he came up with 10,000,000,000 to 123rd power.  Which is the number 10 billion with 123 zeros at the end.  A number that humans cannot even comprehend.

(10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000)

 You say you don’t believe in God, yet atheist scientist, Stephen Hawking stated in his book, The Brief History of Time, that at the moment of the Big Bang, that if the expansion rate of the universe is different by even one / one hundred thousand million millionth of a percent that the universe would’ve collapsed back on itself.

You say you don’t believe in God, but your existence alone as a human is of a 400 trillion to one odds. 

You say you don’t believe in God, yet did you know that if one person‘s DNA was unraveled and placed end to end it would stretch to Pluto and back. 

You say it takes too much faith to believe in God, and then to that I’ll ask you, have you ever seen non-intellectual produce intellectual?  Have you ever seen non-life produce life?  Have you ever seen a massive explosion or expansion produced design or order?  Every explosion I’ve ever seen has led to mass destruction, not design and order.

You say you can’t trust biblical texts because they’re ancient manuscripts that were written by men thousands of years ago.  Yet the Bible is the most preserved text in all of humanity with over 25,000 manuscripts in the world. I didn’t ask you, why do you trust the reliability of people like Caesar, Galileo, and many other ancient figures when they have far less items written about them?  

You say that the Bible has been mistranslated and altered, yet the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls in 1950s have proven that claim to be false.

You say you don’t believe in the miracles of Jesus, yet you believe in the miracles of the universe being almost perfect in every aspect for us and our ecosystem to survive.  

You say it takes too much faith to believe in religion, yet I counter that claim with the notion that I believe it takes way more faith to be an atheist than a theist.  

You say you don’t need God to have good morals and you would be correct, but then you cannot ground your morality in anything else but pure opinion.

Then you say who cares?  And I ask you who was right morally?  Because it all comes down to subjective opinion if you’re an atheist. And if you’ve had enough bad people have a bad subjective opinion we would be in a world of trouble.  

God allows us to ground our morality in an objective manner instead of pure opinion of one person versus the next. 

You say the Bible is unreliable yet over 2,000 prophecies are confirmed from the Old Testament to the New Testament.  You say believers are living in a fairy tale, yet the evidence of Christianity is so overwhelming, I would ask you how can you not believe?

You say, “Why does God allow humans to suffer, not even have enough food to live?” and I’ll turn that question right around against humanity and ask, “Why do we as humans allow people to not get enough food and water to survive?”

You say, “Why doesn’t God just come down and show himself so that we can believe?”  And I say to that, he already did and we killed Him.  And I know that if He came again, we’d try to kill Him again because the world hates the truth and loves their sin. 

Get right with God now.

What an amazing essay.

Okay, this one is really good too, sent in by Steph.  25 of the best Halloween Costumes.  

What a fantastic statue.  I looked for a smaller version on line.  Way out of my league price wise.

How Children perceive their grandparents.

1. I was in the bathroom, putting on my makeup, under the watchful eyes of my young granddaughter, as I’d done many times before. After I applied my lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!” I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye….

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 68. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo and I said, “No, how are we alike?” “You’re both old,” he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
“What’s it about?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”

7. I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I really think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!”

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.” “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.” (WOW! I really like this one — it says I’m only ’38’!)

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting.” she said. “How do you make babies?” “It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”

11. Children’s Logic: “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked. “Sure,” said the young boy confidently. ‘It means carrying a child.”

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties.
“They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child.
“No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.”
A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.”

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and whenever we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.”

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.

That is a FANTASTIC idea!!!!

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. 

– Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

What’s a mixed feeling? 

When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car

Minnesota Law

Women may face up to 30 days in jail if they impersonate Santa Claus.

A third grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell “before.” 

He stands up and says, “Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.” 

The teacher says, “No, that’s wrong. Can anyone else spell before?” 

Another little boy stands up and says, “Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.”

Again the teacher says, “No, that’s wrong.” The teacher asks, “Little Johnny, can you spell ‘before’?” 

Little Johnny stands up and says, “Before, B-E-F-O-R-E.”

“Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?” 

Little Johnny says, “That’s easy. Two plus two be fore.”

Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One guy said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. ‘Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy.’

‘Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.’ 

Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. ‘I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn’t care!’ 

‘You just don’t know how to set him off, watch and learn.’ The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder.

‘I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!’ 

‘Oh, wow, I didn’t know that, thank you.’ 

Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies. ‘Your right, he is unshakable!’ 

The third English man said, ‘No, no, no, I will really piss him off, you just watch.’ 

The English man walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said, ‘I hear your St. Patrick was an English man!’ 

‘Yeah, that’s what your buddies were trying to tell me.’ 

THIS SOUNDS LIKE IT MIGHT BE TRUE! 
(or Urban Legend?) 


What a world?  ….  On Thursday, 24 January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio.  ((Story from Australia)) 

In March, 1999, a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00.  He ignored it and threw it away.  In April he received another bill and threw that one away too. 

The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn’t send them $0.00 by return mail. 

He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and they would take care of it. 

The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome gas line figuring that if there was usage on the account it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament.  However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off.  He called the gas company who apologized for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it. The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. 

Assuming that having spoken to them the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake, so he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out. 

The next month he got a bill for $0.00.  This bill also stated that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt. 

Finally, giving in, he thought he would beat the company at their own game and mailed them a check for $0.00.  The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the gas company nothing at all. 

A week later, the manager of the Mudgee branch of the Westpac Banking Corporation called our hapless friend and asked him what he was doing writing check for $0.00.  After a lengthy explanation the bank manager replied that the $0.00 check had caused their check processing software to fail.  The bank could therefore not process ANY checks they had received from ANY of their customers that day because the check for $0.00 had caused the computer to crash. 

The following month the man received a letter from the gas company claiming that his check has bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a check by return mail they would take immediate steps to recover the debt.  At this point, the man decided to file a debt harassment claim against the gas company. 

It took him nearly 2 hours to convince the clerks at the local courthouse that he was not joking.  They subsequently assisted him in the drafting of statements which were considered substantive evidence of the aggravation and difficulties he had been forced to endure during this debacle.  The matter was heard in the Magistrate’s Court in Mudgee and the outcome was this: 

The gas company was ordered to: 

[1] Immediately rectify their computerized accounts system or show cause, within 10 days, why the matter should not be referred to a higher court for consideration under company Law. 

[2] Pay the bank dishonor fees incurred by the man. 

[3] Pay the bank dishonor fees incurred by all the Westpac clients whose checks had been bounced on the day our friend’s had been. 

[4] Pay the claimant’s court costs; and 

[5] Pay the claimant a total of $1500 per month for the 5 month period March to July inclusive as compensation for the aggravation they had caused their client to suffer. 


And all this over $0.00. 

A blonde is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along.  She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried.

She asks, “What if the baby starts coming, and I can’t get to the hospital in time.”

The doctor replies, “Well, woman have been having babies for a million years without an attendance by doctors.

It’s a very natural process. The first thing you do is to assume the same position you were laying in when you got pregnant.”

The blonde interrupts with, “Do you mean with the left foot in the glove compartment and the right foot hanging out the window?”

This kid needs a reward!  7th Grader Jumps Into Action to Save Bus Driver and Fellow Students

And I hope that little collection helps you understand a little bit, also.

That is truly wild looking!

Wonder how many will get that one…

Okay, so Ted sent us this next quiz…it’s called the Older than dirt quiz.

So, I’m sharing this with all of you because I remember 4 or more.  I actually remember 16 1/2.  I say 16 1/2 because I’m not sure about #7.  I remember them, but I don’t know if we ever had one or if we always had our own line. When I checked on the dates for party lines this is what I found out with a quick search: Party lines carried on well into the 70s, but the technology was deemed “a victim of progress” but the last party line was not phased out until 1991 in Woodbury, Connecticut.  So, I could EASILY have had a party line as a kid.  Heck, in 1991 I had already been in the Air Force and gotten out again.  I graduated high school in 1977.

Anybody who claims that marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition doesn’t know the first thing about women or fractions.

This demonstrates how little things change.
It was first published in the British humour magazine “Punch” on April 3, 1957:
But it is still VERY pertinent to banking practices today.

Q: What are banks for?

A: To make money.

Q: For the customers?

A: For the banks.

Q: Why doesn’t bank advertising mention this?

A: It would not be in good taste.  But it is mentioned by implication in references to reserves of $249,000,000,000 or thereabouts.  That is  the money they have made.

Q: Out of the customers?

A: I suppose so.

Q: They also mention Assets of $500,000,000,000 or thereabouts.  Have they made that too?

A: Not exactly.  That is the money they use to make money.

Q: I see. And they keep it in a safe somewhere?

A: Not at all.  They lend it to customers.

Q: Then they haven’t got it?

A: No.

Q: Then how is it Assets?

A: They maintain that it would be if they got it back.

Q: But they must have some money in a safe somewhere?

A: Yes, usually $500,000,000,000 or thereabouts.  This is called Liabilities.

Q: But if they’ve got it, how can they be liable for it?

A: Because it isn’t theirs.

Q: Then why do they have it?

A: It has been lent to them by customers.

Q: You mean customers lend banks money?

A: In effect.  They put money into their accounts, so it is really lent to the banks.

Q: And what do the banks do with it?

A: Lend it to other customers.

Q: But you said that money they lent to other people was Assets?

A: Yes.

Q: Then Assets and Liabilities must be the same thing?

A: You can’t really say that.

Q: But you’ve just said it!  If I put $100 into my account the bank is liable to have to pay it back, so it’s Liabilities.  But they go and  lend it to someone else and he is liable to have to pay it back, so  it’s Assets. It’s the same $100 isn’t it?

A: Yes, but….

Q: Then it cancels out.  It means, doesn’t it, that banks haven’t really any money at all?

A: Theoretically……

Q: Never mind theoretically!  And if they haven’t any money, where do  they get their Reserves of $249,000,000,000 or thereabouts??

A: I told you.  That is the money they have made.

Q: How?

A: Well, when they lend your $100 to someone they charge him interest.

Q: How much?

A: It depends on the Bank Rate.  Say five and a-half percent.  That’s their profit.

Q: Why isn’t it my profit?  Isn’t it my money?

A: It’s the theory of banking practice that………

Q: When I lend them my $100 why don’t I charge them interest?

A: You do.

Q: You don’t say.  How much?

A: It depends on the Bank Rate.  Say a half percent.

Q: Grasping of me, rather?

A: But that’s only if you’re not going to draw the money out again.

Q: But of course I’m going to draw the money out again!  If I hadn’t  wanted to draw it out again I could have buried it in the garden!

A: They wouldn’t like you to draw it out again.

Q: Why not?  If I keep it there you say it’s a Liability.  Wouldn’t they be glad if I reduced their Liabilities by removing it?

A: No.  Because if you remove it they can’t lend it to anyone else.

Q: But if I wanted to remove it they’d have to let me?

A: Certainly.

Q: But suppose they’ve already lent it to another customer?

A: Then they’ll let you have some other customers money.

Q: But suppose he wants his too….and they’ve already let me have it?

A: You’re being purposely obtuse.

Q: I think I’m being acute.  What if everyone wanted their money all at once?

A: It’s the theory of banking practice that they never would.

Q: So what banks bank on, is not having to meet their commitments?

You know, he’s absolutely right.

Absolutely hilarious!!!

That’s it my friends.  Be blessed.