I hope I make this happen on Monday. 

That’s a terrible thing to be saying on Friday evening, but there is SO MUCH going on in my life right now, that I’m not sure I’ll have the time. 

I’m working tomorrow. 

And I’m not going to fill you up and bore you with everything that’s going on right now. 

Mostly, I really don’t have the time.  If I’m going to get a decent start on this, I need to get started, and let’s face it.  It’s the laughter you all come for, not to listen to me prattle on about how tough my life is right now. 

I do want to thank Leonard R. and Michael F. for the extremely kind and generous recent donations.  Always welcome and always put to very good use.  Thank you both EVER so much!

Let’s get some of the recent “That time of the year” stuff that I’ve gotten first:

Boy, ain’t that the truth!

I Just Spent The Past 20 Minutes Laughing Uncontrollably At All These Pictures And Now I Really Need You To See Them

36 Incredibly Dangerous Designs That I’m Genuinely Shocked Made It To The Final Product

Seven New Frog Species Were Named After Star Trek Captains: ‘To Boldly Croak’

Picture this: knee-deep in the stingy, bitey, steamy jungles of Madagascar, you and your research team discover 7 new species of frog—what do you name them?

Inspired by the various sounds of American sci-fi films and television, 7 tree frogs that make otherworldly sounds were named after characters from Star Trek.

The international team of scientists said their high-pitched whistling calls are like sound effects from the iconic sci-fi series.

All 7 new animals come from the frog genus Boophis, and emit “bird-like” whistling sounds in their communication with other frogs, rather than croaks. According to Professor Miguel Vences, a Trekkie to some degree, such whistling sounds are used often in the classic sci-fi franchise.

“That’s why we named the frogs after Kirk, Picard, Sisko, Janeway, Archer, Burnham, and Pike, seven of the most iconic captains from the sci-fi series,” said Professor Vences.

Assistant Professor Mark Scherz of the Natural History Museum of Denmark, joked that while there weren’t any phasers or stars in the rainforests of Madagascar, there was quite a lot of “trekking.”

“A few species are found in places accessible to tourists, but to find several of these species, we had to undertake major expeditions to remote forest fragments and mountain peaks,” said Scherz. “There’s a real sense of scientific discovery and exploration here, which we think is in the spirit of Star Trek.”

He explained that the otherworldly calls of the frogs are known as “advertisement calls,” a type of self-promotion that may convey information about the male frog’s suitability as a mate to females.

Scherz says that particular group lives along fast-flowing streams in the most mountainous regions of Madagascar, a noisy background that may explain why the frogs call at such high pitches.

He said some of the frog calls might remind Star Trek fans of sounds from the so-called “boatswain whistle” and a device called the ‘tricorder.’ But, to other people, they may sound like a bird or an insect.

“If the frogs just croaked like our familiar European frogs, they might not be audible over the sound of rushing water from the rivers they live near,” said Dr. Jörn Köhler, who played a key role in analyzing the calls among the study team. “Their high-pitched trills and whistles stand out against all that noise.”

The calls also lined up with the genetic analysis the team performed, according to their findings published in the journal Vertebrate Zoology. Madagascar is renowned for its biodiversity, and research in its rainforests continues to uncover hidden species.

The island, around the size of France, is home to about 9% of the world’s frog species.

“We’ve only scratched the surface of what Madagascar’s rainforests have to offer,” said Professor Andolalao Rakotoarison, of the Université d’Itasy, Madagascar. “Every time we go into the forest, we find new species, and just in terms of frogs, there are still several hundred species we haven’t yet described.”

She and the rest of the team have described around 100 new species from the island in the last 10 years alone.

The research team hopes their latest discovery will strengthen conservation efforts in Madagascar’s rainforests.

Okay, so that last one may have been more of a personal opinion.

A hyena is drinking at a watering hole one day when he sees an elephant come for a drink. 

Close to the water, the elephant stops short and inspects a turtle for a few seconds. Then the elephant rears back and kicks the turtle, making it fly the better part of a mile. 

The hyena asks, “What did you do that for?” 

“Well,” answers the elephant, “About 80 years ago that turtle bit my foot. Today I finally found that SOB and paid him back.” 

“Eighty years! How in the name of heaven could you remember what that turtle looked like after that many years?” 

The elephant replied, “I have turtle recall 

One of our dear readers, Stephen B, sent that one to me.

A couple of Florida Tribute pictures…

A couple is taking a stroll in a lovely meadow when they come upon a wishing well. The woman leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a quarter. 

Her husband decides he wants to make a wish, also. 

Unfortunately, he leans over too far, falls down into the well, and drowns. 

The woman stands there shaken for a moment, and then exclaims, 

“GOOD GRIEF!, IT WORKS!!!” 

I don’t know if it’s AI or fake or photoshop or real or whatever…it’s still cool as all get-out!

So, how about this one, is it better…

So, maybe a little

Really, REALLY good advice!!

No.  No, No.  No, No, No!  If I’m standing underneath a powerline and I feel ANYTHING, then SOMETHING is DEFINITELY WRONG!!!

Okay, this next picture is special just from me.  It is, according to the book of Revelation and the opinion of the instructor of FBI (Faith Bible Institute) a line up of the sides and players in World War III.  There are more, like Australia and New Zealand (who should be on the green side, by the way) but they couldn’t be pictured on the map.  This is a screen grab that I got of the class. 

Where’s Batman when you need him?

50 Extremely Fascinating Pictures That Will Completely And Totally Change Your Perspective On Nature And The World

They walk among us, they drive down the same roads as us, and…you ask, who is it that could possibly think that a 72 year old grandmother should be locked up in prison for standing inside the velvet ropes of the capitol for a few minutes on January 6th whilst the people who burned down other people’s buildings were “mostly peaceful demonstrations”?  The answer is, the same  people who think that Fl oz stands for Florida ounces.  And killing an unborn baby is not murder, right?

I’m sorry.  

I recently had a VERY … um … emotional “discussion” with a dear friend of mine who is convinced that it is a woman’s choice to have an abortion and that it doesn’t affect their walk with God at all.  AT ALL.

Exodus 20:13  

“But, it’s my body, my choice.” 

And who is making the choice for the baby?  You already made one choice for them.  You choose to allow them to be created inside of you, gave them the space.  That space now belongs to them.  The rest of your body may be yours, but that part of it belongs to them.  You are trying to make a decision about that baby’s body, not yours.

Deuteronomy 5:17

“But, I didn’t mean to get pregnant.  It’s still my choice.” 

You HAD a choice.  You had the choice to keep your legs together and not engage in sex to begin with.  You exercised your freewill right up to the time you are now trying to exercise your MASTERHOOD over someone else’s freewill.  If that baby could express their opinion, their choice, what do you think they would pick?  To be murdered?

I think not.

I guess I really should give more of an advanced warning before I climb up on this thing.  I really didn’t expect to go on that way.  Sometimes my fingers, mind, and the Spirit just kind of take over, and I just sit back and watch as the words come out on the computer screen.  The conversation I had affected me a lot.  So, let’s move away from human stupidity and …

Yeah, I get that myself sometimes.  I also get accused of making up words.  Like, I would have been accused of making up the word “pretentious”.

And I had to go find this next one that I knew I had filed away somewhere, but it went so well with the last one.  Took me a minute, but I found it!

And THAT describes my Izzy TO A “T”!!!

Oh, amen and amen and amen!!!

This one is from Pop Smith.  I love it.  It should be repeated often and everywhere.  Thanks Pop.  Here’s what he has to say about it:  This week my wife and I went to Vincennes to visit the Red Skelton Museum and then drove back to Evansville to eat and spend the night.  If you haven’t been to the museum it is worth the trip.  Even thought it is small compared to some place it is big on entertainment with collections and outfits of his different characters along with screen clips of those characters.  They also had this clip which I think is the most impressive thing he ever did.  “The Pledge of Allegiance”  The cost is minimal but if you are a member of a NARM (North American Reciprocal Museums narmassociation.org) admittance is free.  I hope you have a good week

I am 100% sure that is NOT what she is saying.

My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake). 

One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar … I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping ‘napkins’ in the bathroom. Didn’t they belong in the kitchen?

Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for “special occasions” (her second mistake). 

Now fast forward a few months….It’s Chrismas Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. 

Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table.

 When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. 

Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a “special occasion” napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn’t hang off the edge!! 

My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. 

“But, Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!!”

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: 

“If I ask you a question, would you promise to answer me honestly?” 

“Yeah, sure thing,” replied his friend, “fire away.”

“Well,” said the first guy, “why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?” 

“It’s probably because of her speech impediment,” replied the second guy. 

“What do you mean her speech impediment?” inquired the first fellow. “My wife doesn’t have a speech impediment!” 

“Well,” replied his friend, “you must be the only guy who hasn’t noticed that she can’t say ‘NO’!” 

This one comes from Joe in NJ.  It is beautiful.  It made me cry for an hour because it made me think so much of my dear Mary who I miss so damn much.  Thanks for sharing this Joe.  It is true beyond belief for so many women.  I truly wish I could say all women, just like I wish I could say nice things about all men, but I can’t.  But for those special ones…and you all know who they are … this is SO TRUE!

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into His sixth day of working overtime.  An angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?” 

And the Lord answered, “Have you seen My spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts,all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart — and she will do everything with only two hands.” 

The angel was astounded at the requirements. “Only two hands!? No way! And that’s just on the standard model?  That’s too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.” 

“But I won’t,” the Lord protested. “I am so close to finishing this Creation that is so close to My own heart.  She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.”

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have Made her so soft,Lord.” 

“She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made Her tough.  You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

“Will she be able to think?”, asked the angel. 

The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.” 

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the Woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.” 

“That’s not a leak,” the Lord corrected, “that’s a Tear!” 

“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked. 

The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief And her pride.” 

The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of Everything! Woman is truly amazing.” 

And she is!! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. 

They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. 

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. 

Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can help to heal a broken heart. 

Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning! 

They bring joy and hope. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give. 

However if there’s one flaw in women, it is that they tend to forget their worth.

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. 

He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife.” 

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him. 

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. 

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said “Wait just a minute!” 

She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. 

Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, “I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all that money in the casket.” 

She said, “Yes, I promised. I’m a good Christian, I can’t lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.” 

“You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?” 

“I sure did,” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a cheque.”

Didn’t you just know that was coming at about the halfway point?

And they have the unmitigated gall to say that we’re the ones who are crazy!

There once was a girl from Madras 
Who had a magnificent ass, 
But ’twas not round and pink 
As you’d probably think, 
‘Twas gray had long ears and ate grass.

50 Extremely Fascinating Pictures That Will Completely And Totally Change Your Perspective On Nature And The World

“The best way to be late is to have a lot of extra time!”

I have a confession to make.

I am a great cook. 

I’m not bragging when I say this, just stating fact.  I have cooked in many different kinds and types of restaurants.  It’s something that comes naturally to me and I used to enjoy it quite a bit.  Mary and I used to cook for each other all the time, and we’d cook for our friends.  I would actually have people that would request I make my “Lasagna Bob” for them.  Now, I’m not saying this to brag or show you how great I am, but to say that, I haven’t cooked, really cooked for many years.

I haven’t had the heart. 

It takes love to cook. 

It takes spirit and heart.

I just haven’t had it. 

I’ve had love in my life since Mary died, I just haven’t had LOVE in my life since Mary died.

Tonight, Izzy asked me to help her make Banana Bread so she could take it to work tomorrow.  She is trying so very hard to be nice to the friends she’s made at her new job and I’m really proud of her for that.  I told her I would walk and talk her through HER making banana bread.  We made banana bread from scratch.  Well, to make a long story short, sometime during the process, I started cooking again. (and now writing this I’m crying) I was showing Izzy how to mash bananas with an old fashioned potato masher, and whipping raw eggs rather than just dumping them into the mix and explaining to her why that made a difference and why a little bit of cumin mixed in with the cinnamon will really brighten up the flavor, but it has to be mixed with the cinnamon before added to the recipe, and reaching and grabbing and mixing with one hand while stirring with the other and explaining to her to do something else completely at the same time and suddenly…

… I was cooking again. 

And his heart grew three sizes too large.

Well, maybe not three sizes, but maybe it grew a little.

And maybe my love as well.

Until we meet again my friends.