It’s a sad day for many of us.  A dear friend has passed away.  I think it is expressed best by this wonderful picture that was sent to me.

James, you will be missed.  Our heartfelt prayers go out to his family.

I’m starting this issue on Thursday and will probably continue it through the weekend.  This may be one of the last nice weekends I have to ride and I want to get as much time in on the trike as I can.  Not that the cold weather really bothers me, but I want to get as comfortable as I can on it so I can easily pass my rider’s test so I can ride at night.  Too many of the things that I want to do have me coming home after it gets dark.  Last night I rode to the jail for jail ministry and got done about 8 pm.  Sunset was at 8:01 pm.  (Tonight, one day later, it’s at 7:59)  I wouldn’t have said it was “dark” when I got home 15 minutes later, but I was still within the law.  I just looked it up.  I’m allowed to ride from 30 minutes before sunrise to 30 minutes after sunset.  That means that I can’t take the trike to FBI tonight because we don’t get out to 9 pm, that is way past time.  That’s the ride I’d like to take and not that anyone would probably stop me, but it’s against the law.

Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to thank the people who have donated so far and who have been put on the …

Since I know I’m going to get the question, these truly wonderful people have donated to the the annual “Help Impish Pay the Bills” drive.  Once a year the bills come due to keep this ezine running and ad free and I said that as long as donations cover the cost I would continue to put my time and effort into it so once a year I ask for donations.  And that’s worked out quite well for the last 18+ years.  If everyone gives a buck or two, less than the cost of a cup of coffee, it’s taken care of.  You can donate by going to the website at dragonlaffs.com 

and in the right hand column, towards the top you’ll see this box.  Click on that and it will take you to the Paypal site where you can donate.  Or, if you want click right HERE and that will take you to the Paypal site for you to donate.  Or if you don’t want to do any of that, you can email me at impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com and talk to me about some other way.

Now, I said I wasn’t going to talk about that and I’m not going to talk about it, so let’s get on with the laughter, shall we?

You know, your friend was right.

And I hope all of us feel that way!  I will always, 100%, listen to someone’s story.  Every time.

And this next one touched me so deeply that I shared it with the other grief counselors in my group and I’m going to use it at my next grief session.  Thank you so much Chris for sharing this with me.  It is VERY special.

I really do love that pig.  He is the best of the bunch with a heart of gold.

Simple, Cheap Food Dye Makes Skin Transparent to Give Doctors a ‘Window’ into the Body

You should be able to click on the title of this extraordinarily interesting article to read it, but in case you can’t, you can also click HERE.

Let’s see if this makes it a little easier…

There’s some “interesting” stuff there.

This one is a classic and has to be repeated.  Thanks brother Joe!

Old man sitting on his front porch in Louisiana watching the sunrise sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.

He yells out, “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”

The boy yells back, “Roll of chicken wire.”

The old man says, “What you gonna do with that?”

The boy says, “Catch some chickens.”

The old man yells, “You damn fool, you can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!”

The boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man’s surprise, he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

At the same time the next morning, the old man is out watching the sunrise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.

The old man yells out, “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”

The boy yells back, “Roll of duck tape.”

The old man says, “What you gonna do with that?”

The boy says back, “Catch me some ducks.”

The old man yells back, “You damn fool, you can’t catch ducks with duck tape!”

The boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That night, around sunset, the boy walks by coming home and to the old man’s amazement, he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.

At the same time the next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end.

The old man says, “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”

The boy says, “It’s a pussy willow.”

The old man says “Hold on, I’ll get my hat.”

Yeah, I know, I’ll have to start coming up with a different theme

There’s a really good joke about ex-wives in that picture somewhere, but I’m not going to go looking for it.

Perfect!

Four people were bragging about how smart their cats are.

The first was an Engineer, the second an Accountant, the third was a chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker.

To show off, The Engineer called to his cat, “T-square, do your stuff.”

T-Square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was a pretty smart cat, but the Accountant said his cat could do better.  He called his cat and said, “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.”

Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.  He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.

Everyone agreed that was really good, but the Chemist said his cat could do better.  He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.”

Measure got up picked up a 500ml graduated cylinder, walked over to the fridge, took out a liter of milk, got a 300 ml glass from the cupboard, measured and poured exactly 275 ml of milk into the glass without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was good too.  Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, “What can your cat do?”

The Government worker called to his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.”

Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, pooped on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers comp, and went home on sick leave.

I can honestly say that I wasn’t very good at that.  Which may be why I’ve had so many trials over the years so that I could practice.  I’ve gotten much better lately and amazingly, the trials have begun to diminish.  Even though I counsel people that all things are used towards furthering God’s plan, sometimes it’s hard to listen to my own counsel.

The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut smoking the ceremonial pipe and eyeing the two US government officials sent to interview him.

“Chief Two Eagles,” one official began, “you have observed the white man for many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you have seen all his progress and all his problems.”

The chief nodded.

The official continued, “Considering recent events, in your opinion where has the white man gone wrong?”

The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied:

“When white man found this land Indians were running it. No taxes. No debt. Plenty buffalo. Plenty beaver. Women did most of the work. Medicine man free. Indian men hunted and fished all the time.”

The chief smiled and added quietly, “White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.”

They should probably work harder on placement.

And coffee is hot!  It’s amazing to me how much we’ve declined.

You may not be able to notice from the picture, but this guy is in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs.

I’m not sure that’s the smartest thing someone has ever done.

If I have seen more than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants. 

-Sir Isaac Newton (1643 – 1728) 

Looking at his overweight patient, the doctor hands him a prescription and says, “Mr. Smith, you should make sure that you try to take these pills on an empty stomach… if such an opportunity ever presents itself.” 

I have so many questions.

Or put up a picture of a homeless Vet

While I was dining in the restaurant of a large hotel, I heard a loud crash. 

A waitress had dropped a whole tray of coffee cups, plates, and dishes.

Suddenly, I felt a stinging pain in my hand. There was a small cut from the scattered debris. 

I was immediately escorted to the hotel doctor. 

“What happened?” he asked. 

“Attacked by a flying saucer,” I replied. 

When a teenage girl smiles at a boy, he tries to decide what makes him so sexy. 

When a young lady smiles at a man in his fifties, he turns around to see who’s the handsome dude behind him. 

But when a female of any age smiles at a man of 80, he looks down to see if he’s unzipped. 

A young man is jogging through a park when he sees an old man sitting on a bench sobbing.  

Concerned, he stops by the bench.  “Is there anything I can do for you, sir?” 

“Oh,” sobs the old man, “everything’s wonderful.  I just married a gorgeous twenty-year old who’ll do anything for me, and even my children love her.  We have a beautiful house, a pool…” 

“So what’s the matter?”  the puzzled young man asks.

“I can’t remember where I live!” 

A 100 year old man was having a big birthday party at his nursing home. A TV crew was there to interview the man on this special day.

“Please tell our audience how you managed to live so long,” as the reporter. 

“Well, I don’t ever drink and I’ve never smoked,” replied the old geezer. “And, I make it a point to stay away from wild women.” 

Just then, there was a loud shriek in the hall. The crew turned to see a nurse run by, followed by an agile looking, older man. 

The older man carried a foul smelling cigar in one hand and a glass of whisky in the other. 

As he ran by, he paused for a moment, looked at the crowd and let out a hardy, “He, he, he!” and then continued his pursuit.

“What was that all about?” asked the astonished reporter.

Replied the old geezer, “Please excuse my father – he gets carried away sometimes!” 

And that’s it my friends.  I want to say 

To everyone who has donated so far to the ezine.  We’ve made a great start to meeting the goal.  May our dear God bless you all with Love and Happiness, Comfort and Friendship all the days of your life.  Until we meet again.

Let me add a fast PS here:  I’m updating this late on Sunday.  I just went and updated the Wall of Fame.  From the time that I finished this until now, a bunch more people have donated and I just wanted to say thanks.  You guys are doing a fantastic job!